I’m choosing between two perfect VRBO homes for the family vacation. One has 6 bedrooms and is more pricey. The other one has 4 bedrooms and is a little bit less expensive. Do you have a preference? I asked my husband. If we go with the 6 bedroom everyone will have their own bed.

I glance over at him, already knowing which one he’ll choose. Because we both agree, a good night’s sleep is priceless.

I have always, always, loved my sleep and am very good at it. Sideways most nights 8-9 hours, one pillow under my leg, one beside my belly that acts as an armrest, a very old, near featherless topper to cover my ear and cheek. I rest comfortably with my night time companions. They travel with me too, Each has its own packing cube labeled small, medium, and large.

My husband, on the other hand, is a restless sleeper, often waking me up with his tosses and turns. Go in the other room, I would hear myself saying before midnight. And in the morning, more often than not, I walked past a closed door to the spare bedroom before getting my morning coffee. It made me feel a little sad and lonely. The image of Mike and Carol Brady’s goodnight kiss before turning off the light came to mind. After 35 years of marriage, I missed having him next to me in bed. It pulled on my TV couple’s marital heart strings.

Sleeping in separate beds happened gradually. At first he started watching TV in the middle of the night and then would return to our room but that wasn’t working. In the evening, we began watching TV together in His room instead of downstairs in the family room. Once I became sleepy, I would kiss him goodnight and retire into My room. Less Carol and Mike Brady, more Rob and Laura Petrie.

Sleeping by myself became routine. I got used to falling asleep in the middle of my bed, throwing off the blankets without having to worry about piling them onto him, or waking him up for my nightly bathroom trip. With a good night’s sleep for both of us, I was no longer bothered about the norms of society. We have a wonderful, loving relationship and that’s what matters.

Recently we had a house full of family staying for the night, plus two dogs. My husband was back in bed with me. I was hot, the extra blanket between us interrupted the option of a jack knife position. Every time I was on the bridge of deep sleep he turned over. By 2:30 I was finally able to calm my swirling middle of the night mind and fall into a deep sleep.

I woke to the dogs barking at 5:00 am.

Do you have a room with 2 queens? I asked, booking a stay in a resort for an upcoming wedding weekend.

No? They’re all booked?

You only have 2 rooms with king beds directly across from each other? Yes, that would be perfect. I say with conviction.

No more Carol and Mike, or Laura and Rob. A king size bed for each of us, across the hallway from each other. More Elizabeth and Phillip from The Crown.

Yes, Separate Beds Please was last modified: by

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