expensive braThere are certain things going on with my body lately. I am sure they are all gradual things, though they seem to just appear overnight. I have changed. Inside certainly. My heart, mind and soul, this collective we, are stronger, wiser. Unfortunately, or not, I am trying to make peace with this, as my body has kept up with this transformation. And so I thought to share some coping strategies that have helped me to move gracefully into this next stage of my life.

This does not mean drinking wine.


Hair turns gray. EVERYWHERE ON YOUR BODY. Not just on your head. I did not know this. I did not even think about this to know this. And nobody ever thought to tell me this. But now, when I mention it to other women, they all say, oh yes, that is what happens. And we laugh because it is a private joke. On us. Someone should have warned me. I am warning you so you do not wake up one morning and look down and say what the f%*k. Well, you may say that anyway but at least you won’t be surprise.

And speaking of gray hair,

Eyebrows turn gray too. One hair at a time.

But there is more. They get long…like long as in “I-swear-I-pluck-one-and-it-is-attached-over-the-other-eye” long. Those older men we see, our grandfathers and great uncles, I have their eyebrows on my face. What is up with that? Gray, long eyebrows. But not all gray. Some half-gray. Still manageable. But keep an eye on them, this sentence amuses me, I think they could take over my face if I am not careful.


Knees. Or more specifically, the skin above them. Well, the skin that used to be above them, but now rests right against them. Saggy knees. I have these. Great legs- but loose knees. There is a joke in here somewhere, loose knees, loose lips sink ships, can’t quite get it though. So take care of your skin around your knees. And keep your knees bent as often as possible. They look really great that way.

Let’s talk about,

The end of our period. And how long that end takes to reach. Because for me, this process started OVER TEN YEARS AGO. And only just ended now. Truly. But yours may be less years. Or more. You may feel all sorts of symptoms or nothing at all. None of us are the same. That constant period that you have, that is normal. Not having one then having a huge one. Normal. Spotting. Normal. Being cranky, horny, emotional, psychic, scatterbrained and intense. Normal. So keep in mind what is happening here, in a whisper, no one really knows.

I did not have hot flashes for most of these 10 LONG ASS YEARS, except when I would wake up and HAVE TO GET OUT OF THESE GODDAMN COVERS RIGHT THIS SECOND OR I WILL DIE and now when the lack of a period has become a reality. I am sometimes emotional, but I am not bitchy. I am, however, really scatterbrained and forgetful. But that is ok because I think about it for like one second and then immediately move to another thought or forget about it. So good luck with this one.


Breasts. I was always told from other women, and I read in books and magazines, that my breasts would get little at this stage of my life. Perhaps less pert, but little. And this I liked to hear. Except, IT WAS A LIE. They are bigger. Much bigger. Like two cup sizes bigger.

Some may say that this is a good thing. I, personally, like little breasts on me. I like my clothes in little breasts. I like working out in them better. They are all around easier to handle, another amusing phrase. But mine are not this. They are HUGE. For me they are huge. Now, while I was still going through this change I thought perhaps after they get huge, they would get small. But that is not how it works.

And when I look around at a lot of women older than me, they have huge breasts, too. And just the other day, while out bra shopping, for my very good and extremely, obscenely expensive bras, the woman in the bra store said that hers got huge too. And, whisper again…stayed that way.

So, what’s a girl to do? I wear great bras. Beautiful ones. Yes, I have some basic ones, too. But I also have lovely ones. Lacy and sexy. And, and this is big, they fit me. They support me. Both physically and mentally. So buy good bras. Feel beautiful. Take care of your breasts. Love them.

So, here you have it. A body’s transformation into something a bit different. Still me, just slightly looser, grayer and bigger in places. I look in the mirror sometimes and I am surprised. My mind’s eye sees me differently. But I still see me. Beautiful and strong.


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