Why Do Older Men Want to Date Much Younger Women?

Dear Sandy,

Why do so many guys close to the age of 60 write in their dating profiles that they want to date and ultimately marry someone much younger? And many of them want more kids! I don’t get it. Everyone is entitled to want & dream of anything they want, but I don’t understand why men that age are looking for children of their own. Aren’t they too old? They would be 80 when their kids are in college! Why on earth do older men want to date much younger women – and have more kids? 

Samantha

Dear Samantha,

It’s a mystery, isn’t it? Why would a man in his 50s, 60s, or 70s want to be with a woman 20 or 30 years younger? What would they possibly have in common? And why in the world would these men want to have more kids at that age? Like you said, they’d be quite up in years when their kids are growing up. And many of them already have children – sometimes up to four or five from a first or second marriage. So why more kids, and why this late in life?

Let’s look at your two questions:

1. Why do older men want to date much younger women?

2. Why do some older men still want to have children?

1. Why do older men want to date much younger women?

I wish I could tell you I had the perfect answer, but I’m afraid there isn’t one “right” answer to your question. People are motivated to do things for very different reasons. Let’s think of a few possible reasons why grandpa wants to date that young college grad.

1. It’s an ego thing. If the hottie wants him, he must still be hot.

2. It’s the promise of eternal youth. If she likes him and she still has lots of good energy, he’ll be more energetic through osmosis

3. He’s delusional. He still thinks he’s 25. Why wouldn’t a young girl be attracted to him (when she has her pick of young virile men).

4. Who knows. I have no clue. Only he knows for sure. I’m not a mind reader. He may have some crazy reason I haven’t even thought of.

2. Why do older men want more kids?

1. It’s an ego thing. If he has a baby, he’ll be propagating the planet with more fruit of his loom. Look at mini me! Isn’t she fabulous – just like me!

2. He’s religious. He is trying to fulfill a biblical directive to sire many children.

3. He wants to stay young. He thinks young children will help him stay forever young.

4. He’s afraid of his mortality. More children = continuing his legacy. He will never truly die, right?

5. He is delusional. He’s not thinking ahead of the myriad responsibilities of siring more children at this age (or any age, for that matter).

It seems that there will always be men who chase women up to half their age. My father is 93, lives in an assisted living facility, and always goes after the 60-year-old women he meets at his synagogue. He’s convinced they have a crush on him. When I ask him about the lovely age-appropriate ladies who live in his building, he says, “They’re too old.” He thinks he’s still a kid. God bless him.

You can’t change men who want to date much younger women. But you can look for men who want a mature woman by their side as they grow older. (By the way, there are plenty of women who date much younger men, too. But that’s a different topic for a different article).

Instead of growing frustrated that so many older men want younger women, seek out those wonderful grownup guys, the silver foxes who want an equal, not someone old enough to be their daughter or granddaughter. Those guys are out there, and they are attracted to sexy women in midlife.

Those men love a woman who is independent, strong, and smart. They are attracted to a woman like you who can communicate her feelings and needs (no mind reading, thank you very much!). They find it sexy when a woman is happy with herself. If you are that woman, you’ll soon attract a quality hot midlife man with mojo!

xoxo

Sandy

Have you ever dated a much older (or younger) man? Have you ever been rejected for a much younger woman? Please share your experience and thoughts below.

If you want to find love this year, there’s nothing like group coaching to keep you accountable and give you dating tips and tools that work. The Last First Date Inner Circle features monthly topic-based Q & A calls about dating over 40 and a private forum for women to connect and share their experiences. All calls are recorded and transcribed, and you get a free chapter a month from Sandy’s upcoming book. This month, the topic is where to find great men!

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