all about penisesWhen we love another person we take time to get to know them; we ask about likes and dislikes. We ask about work, hobbies, favorite foods and daily challenges. Why stop there? Why not learn about his sexual needs? Let’s learn a little about the penis…those things they don’t teach us in Sex Ed.

Ian Kerner’s book, Passionista: The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Pleasuring a Man is the everything-you-need-to-know-about-the-penis book. This book answers questions, explains the anatomy of the penis, male desire, and provides instructions on how to arouse your partner. This book is the companion to his earlier work, She Comes First.

Size is one of the biggest concerns men have about their penis. We see and judge our breast size by looking around us. Men don’t have the same opportunity to judge penis size in relationship to others. To men, size matters. Being too small is an issue and so is being too big. I have always felt that size was irrelevant unless we’re talking really small penises. “The medical term ‘micropenis‘ applies to the 0.6% of men with the smallest penises. …a SPL (small penis length) of three and two-thirds inches or less indicates a micropenis.”

The pleasure centers for most women are a) the clitoris, b) the first inch or so of the vaginal opening, and c) the G-spot (which is located in the front half of the vagina). So size really doesn’t matter when it comes to our “sweet spots.” We mistakenly assume men with large penises have greater sexual prowess. Men have to learn how to please a woman; it is not innate. The man with a large penis and a cocky (tee hee) attitude adds up to a disappointing experience much of the time.  Yes, a large penis will make you feel full. It provides a  “stretching” sensation and allows for contact on/in our sensitive areas but that’s about it.

Part of learning to please your male partner means that you need to understand his anatomy. Just as you want him to understand yours! I can’t emphasize that enough. The possibility that you could experience erectile dysfunction along with your partner is another reason to bone up on your penis facts!

Sorry, the puns just flow naturally here.

What do you really need to know about the penis?

Most men view their penis as their only sex organ. It leads, literally and figuratively. It stands out, it protrudes. It changes, grows, shoots. It’s an amazing organ and men tend to get a little obsessed about it.

We live in a penis-centric world. Though changing, sex has traditionally been all about the penis. When we talk about having sex it is automatically assumed that intercourse is the (only) vehicle for sexual satisfaction. The penis becomes all-important. While I don’t completely agree with that statement, I do think that intimate connection with a man requires knowledge of, and comfort with, his penis. We want men to feel the same about our anatomy.

You need to know:

  • Where he’s sensitive
  • How much pressure to use in touching or sucking
  • What he wants touched and what’s off limits (Scrotum? Prostate massage?)
  • How to help him ejaculate
  • How to help him prolong his ejaculation

The first three you learn by touching and asking questions, or observing his response. In the middle of caressing you can ask, “how does that feel” or “would you like it if I ___________?” Helping him climax is part anatomy, part learning what turns him on. Are there issues with firmness or does he need extra time to come to climax? Learning how to prolong ejaculation is useful if he comes too fast (not as common with older men) or if you want to extend the pleasure. Kerner’s book offers very specific tips that involve slowing down the pace and methods of touch that lessen the urgency.

I remember a time when looking at or even touching a penis seemed awkward. It was just an organ that did a job. I didn’t really give it much more thought than that. Changing that perspective changed the nature of the relationship. My interest in getting to know my partner’s anatomy, his likes and dislikes, was wrapped in the depth of my emotion for him. And, in return he paid more attention to my body and desires.

Lots of women have hang-ups about the penis. But it really is a delightful thing once you’ve taken some time to get acquainted. Show your partner that you’re willing to try something new. You’ll be amazed at how much pleasure this will bring for both of you.

And just for fun:

Top Ten Things You Always Wanted to Know About Sperm but Were Afraid to Ask:

  1. Average volume of a single ejaculation: around a teaspoon
  2. Main ingredient: fructose
  3. Calories: about 5
  4. Protein: 6 milligrams
  5. Fat: 0
  6. Average speed of expulsion: 25 miles per hour
  7. Average duration: 4-8 seconds
  8. Average amount of sperm produced over a man’s lifetime: 14 gallons
  9. Average number of spurts: 4 to 8
  10. Longest money shot in video history: 27.5 inches

Cited from Passionista


What They Didn’t Teach Us In Sex Ed was last modified: by

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