Shared values? Sure, that’s important, but I’m thinking of something else. Similar political views? Helpful, especially in this heated U.S. election year. I’m referring to one particular thing that adds an extra zing to a relationship, and that is the ability to laugh together.
If you study happy couples, you’ll observe that they laugh—a lot. It sure comes in handy in times of stress. Laughter unites couples and helps them enjoy each other every day.
If you’ve ever gone on a great first date where you instantly bonded over laughter, you know that amazing feeling of connection. It’s rare to be able to let go and laugh with a stranger, and it’s not something you should take for granted. Cherish it if you’re lucky enough to find it.
Most first dates go something like this…
You’re sitting across the table from a virtual stranger. You ask each other a bunch of boring questions, and it begins to feel like a job interview. Sometimes there’s awkward silence. Or one person talks way too much.
Maybe you get asked a question that makes you feel like a deer in the headlights like, “Why’d you get divorced?” or “Why are you still single?”
While it’s important to get to know your date and discover if you have common values, too much serious talk can feel like a drag. Chances are pretty slim that sparks will fly. Second date? Probably not.
The way to really feel connected on a first date is through laughter.
Why? I believe the reason goes far deeper than just a shared sense of the sillies. People’s sense of humor is representative of their worldview.
How do you see the world? Do you laugh at slapstick comedy a la The Three Stooges and Charlie Chaplin? Maybe you love deadpan humor (Curb Your Enthusiasm) or self-deprecating humor (Louis C. K.)?
There’s also political humor (Stephen Colbert), potty humor, parody, and so much more. If your date and you laugh at the same thing—-BAM! A connection is made! (I should know—my ex-husband was a professional comedian.)
Are you ready to share some laughs about dating?
What four-word sentence might ruin a first date?
Can you think of four words that might turn a first date into a disaster? I thought it would be fun to share what my private Facebook group members wrote in response to that question. Many of these are based on real first date conversations. Yep, you can’t make this stuff up!
- “I am only separated.”
- “You wanna have sex?”
- “I’m not over her.”
- “…and, this is mom!”
- “I don’t like you.”
- “That should definitely work!”
- “No sex for you!”
- “Are you going bald?”
- “Where is your tooth?”
- “Is that Trump’s rug?”
- “Buy your own ticket.”
- “You care I’m married?”
- “We’re roomies but divorced.”
- “So…three’s a crowd?”
- “It’s only a rash!”
- “I hate my ex.”
- “You remind me of…”
- “I forgot my wallet.”
- “My first complaint is…”
- “Did you shower today?”
- “You are how tall?”
- “Your total comes to…”
- “You have bad breath!”
- “My husband is away.”
- “I live with friends.”
- “I have 10 cats.”
- “Sex first. Date later.”
- “Meet my invisible friend!”
- “I’ll be your slave!”