My Aunt Meg always had a loving man in her life. When my Uncle Benny died, she was soon re-married. When that husband eventually passed on, another man turned up and enjoyed her company. It was easy to see why. She was engaging, wise and sympathetic, and always great fun to talk with.
And she was always upbeat. In her 80s and (temporarily) single, she had to move into an assisted living facility, but her take on it was anything but gloomy. âI love this place!â she told me. âIâm making lots of new friends. Thereâs a dining room so I donât have to cook. I even have a new boyfriend â and heâs gay!â
âYour boyfriend is gay?â
âWhen you hit your 80s,â Â she explained, âall that âsex stuffââ isnât as important as it used to be. âWe watch PBS and go for walks and have great conversations. And he can still drive! We go to the symphony together!â
I had to admit that sounded pretty good.
Especially when, this past July, I learned that the man Iâd loved and trusted for twenty years had a secret girlfriend on the side for the past ten. Since loving another woman and lying about it (for a decade!) happens to be a deal breaker for me, I threw Mike out.
Which means that Iâm single again at age 62. And while Iâm perfectly capable of being happy on my own, Â I do miss having a man in my life, so Iâm starting to think about online dating.
âDonât bother!â some friends tell me. âIf you look for love online, youâll find nothing but heartache. Theyâre all liars and creeps.â But other pals assure me that thereâs someone out there just for me. âYouâll find Mr. Right and live happily ever after.â
Perhaps. On the other hand, thinking about Aunt Meg the other day, I suddenly realized that thereâs a third option. I could follow her lead and find a gay boyfriend! Or rather, a gay best friend.
Several of the women I know have gay best friends who, they tell me, are loving and affectionate and lots of fun.
Men they can trust and confide in, and kibitz with endlessly about relationships and pop culture and office politics, Â and who never pester them for sex when theyâre not in the mood. (Or, for that matter, ever.)
And having a gay best pal means that youâll always have somebody who is happy to go with you to the local community theatreâs production of âCompany.â
It makes perfect sense! I happen to know from experience that straight men in their sixties can be very high maintenance. And, if you check out Match.com, most of the available ones are looking for much younger women anyway.
Iâve always been a strong advocate for LGBTQ rights. I give money. I sign petitions. I show up. I speak out. I belong to GLAD and subscribe to The Advocate. I marched on Washington for Gay Rights in 1993 â and Iâve got the T Shirt to prove it.
And I have a lot to offer the right gay man. Like my Aunt Meg, Iâm loyal and upbeat and fun to talk with. Say youâre a cool gay guy. Why wouldnât you want to spend time with a smart, funny humor writer who can not only cheer you up when youâre feeling blue, but publish mocking essays about anyone who bothers you on Zestnow or the Huffington Post?
Not to mention somebody you can always count on to go with you to the local community theatreâs production of âCompany.â
So where does a Grace like me find her Will?
âLocal politics!â says Amy. âWhen I worked for Hillaryâs campaign, there were scads of progressive gay men working the phones with me.â
âCommunity theatre!â my pal Deb suggests. Â âThe Local Talent Players are putting on a production of Evita. Audition! So what if you canât act? You can be in the chorus.â
I could volunteer at the art museum. Or spend more time at the gay bookstore. But this is the 2lst century! Shouldnât there be a Tinder-like app for straight women who desperately need a gay best friend?
Can somebody please work on this? Iâm guessing there are plenty of single woman my age who, when it comes to male companionship, are more than ready to âupgradeâ from straight to gay. Make it happen!
By the time the first anniversary of my breakup with Mike rolls around, Iâd love to have a gay pal to laugh about him with.
This post first appeared on zestnow.com.