dogs watching a movieIt’s eight O’clock on a Saturday, but the regular crowd is not shuffling in. In fact, it’s just Mike and me on the boat, and I want to shuffle about twenty feet and get into my PJs and under the covers. The early August sun has just hidden under the horizon. I’m exhausted from the day at sea, heavy winds and the salt air spraying over the bow. I’m exhausted from walking around exploring a new town in the heat of an August afternoon. I’m exhausted from an extended cocktail hour that started at 5 PM and turned into dinner.

But who goes to bed at 8PM?

“Can it be bedtime?” I ask Mike at 8:15, half kidding, but mostly serious.

“Nope, not until 9,” he tells me. “We can’t go to bed before 9. We’ll wake up too early. Besides, it’s not even dark yet. Want to watch a movie?” he asks me.

I hesitate. The problem is the movie choices. With no internet on the boat, we don’t have access to Netflix, Amazon, HBOGO, etc. (more first world problems)

And check this out. Here are the movies (DVDS) Mike had the foresight to put on the boat a few years ago:

Master and Commander

The Hunt for Red October

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

The Fifth Element

Total Recall


Star Trek

The Shawshank Redemption.

Is this the most amazing list of “Dick Flicks”? (I didn’t make that term up…Urban Dictionary tells me that is the opposite of a Chick Flick.)   When Mike picks the movie, there is never any shortage of chase scenes and explosions.

In fairness, Mike has been bugging me for years to name a few movies that I would like on the boat. But how does one go about choosing a movie that one would want to watch over and over again?  It’s like asking me what three books I might bring to a deserted island if I were to be stranded for a few years. Or if I were to have a dinner party and could invite one famous person dead or alive, who would it be? These are big, philosophical questions. I hate big, philosophical questions.

I wasn’t ready to commit to movies. I needed to think, choose carefully. It was the ultimate gumption trap. It never got done.

So this summer vacation, we were once more stuck with Mike’s movie choices. And while I like a few of these movies, I don’t want to watch any of them, again…and again. Especially not Monty Python, because there is a good chance I might shove Mike overboard if he starts doing his “bring out your dead” imitation, which seems to happen every time the words “Monty Python” are uttered.

As I do almost every summer, I chose The Hunt for Red October.

I actually really like the part at the end where the sub rises in Penobscot Bay in Maine, where we have just been sailing. I love seeing a young Alex Baldwin, and Sean Connery is awesome. But as much as I like this movie, I fell asleep on the couch by the time the Alex Baldwin figured out how Captain Rameus would get his men off the ship.

I woke in time for the credits. It was after 10, and I could go to bed with no judgment.

“Did Jack Ryan and Captain Rameus get to Penobscot Bay safely this time?” I asked Mike as I brushed my teeth and took out my contacts.

“Indeed they did,” he told me.

Help me out. I will not watch these movies again. Enough with the “Dick Flicks”. I need a list of classic, fascinating, not totally stupid and shallow Chick Flicks. And not just a list of movies for getting us “in the mood.”  Preferably movies where I will be crying my eyes out, and Mike will be snoring on the couch.

Release me from this gumption trap before I am forced to bring out my dead… please.


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