It was inevitable. While we can inject Botox, nip this and tuck that, there are certain undeniable clues that youth is in our rearview mirror. Although women baby boomers are fighting it veneered tooth and manicured nail, “When I’m Sixty-Four” is no longer the Beatles’ playful yet distant promise. It’s nearly here.

Following are 20 telltale signs that midlife is upon us:

  1. Frank Sinatra suddenly sounds good to you.
  2. Sometimes when you speak, your mother’s words come out of your mouth. And they seem to make sense.
  3. You’ve found some interesting articles in AARP magazine.
  4. Your sexual fantasies have been replaced by longings for a nightly martini and eight hours of sleep.
  5. You read an obituary for someone who died at 75 and you think, “That’s so young!”
  6. Happy hour at 5pm doesn’t feel too early for dinner.
  7. You’ve begun to think the new Cadillac looks pretty good. And not for your parents.
  8. Those billowy Eileen Fisher clothes you used to make fun of? They’re not so billowy after all.
  9. You no longer feel guilty about sleeping in the guest room when your husband snores. In fact, you look forward to it.
  10. Pants with an elastic waist seem like a good idea.
  11. You accept that by the time you learn how to text with both thumbs cell phones will be obsolete.
  12. That favorite bra they don’t make anymore that’s now yellowed in the armpits and nearly shredded? You wear it anyway.
  13. When someone asks who your favorite musician is you realize he’s been dead for 20 years.
  14. You have a pair of over-the-counter reading glasses in every room of your house. Maybe two pairs. Just in case.
  15. You see a store in Florida called “Mr. Grab Bar” and you think, “What a good idea!”
  16. You go bathing suit shopping and decide that gum surgery wasn’t so painful after all.
  17. Your kids come home to visit and you really can’t remember how you ever lived in the same house without killing each other.
  18. You don’t know the name of a single person on Saturday Night Live.
  19. You put on a shirt and realize it has a stain over the right boob. You wear it anyway. No one notices.
  20. You read this whole list.


Top 20 Signs You’re Going From Hot to Not was last modified: by

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