I’m a dating coach for women who are serious about creating a healthy loving relationship in midlife. I believe it’s never too late to find the love you deserve. But four years ago, when I first started dating after my divorce, I was not yet a dating coach. I was an overwhelmed, confused and insecure woman. Like many of you, I had no idea how to even begin to date after a 25-year hiatus.

When my divorced friends began dating (a few years before I was ready to date), I noticed that they were mdating expertaking some big mistakes. Their online profiles were vague. Their photos were not doing them justice. They were over-interpreting men’s emails and choosing men who treated them poorly.

I knew they could have more success if they were proactive, did the inner work and tweaked their dating skills. I rewrote their profile essays to reflect more of their essence. I had them upload new photos that brought out their true beauty. I became a behind-the-scenes Cyrano de Bergerac as I advised them on what to write in their emails and what to say on a phone call to move the relationship forward.

The Man Whisperer

When my friend called me the ‘Man Whisperer’ for my ability to understand men, I realized that I had found my true calling as a dating coach.

The Naked Truth About Dating After 50

I’m excited to be the new dating expert here at BA50. I’ll be writing a regular column called The Naked Truth About Dating After 50. I’ll provide tips and tools for dating in midlife, but most importantly, I’m here to answer your dating and relationship questions. What do you want me to write about? Please send your dating questions to sandy@lastfirstdate.com.

Look for my first article this Thursday- it will give you something to think about over Memorial Day weekend…Are Men Sexier After Fifty?

The Naked Truth About Dating After 50 was last modified: May 21st, 2013 by Sandy Weiner

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Sandy Weiner

Sandy Weiner is the founder of LastFirstDate.com. She's THE dating coach for women over 40 who want to attract a healthy lasting relationship. Tune in every Tuesday from 2-2:30 Eastern, as Sandy hosts Last First Date Radio http://blogtalkradio.com/lastfirstdate, a show about dating and relationships in midlife.Want to go on your LAST FIRST DATE? Schedule your complimentary 15-minute get acquainted call https://www.timetrade.com/book/VJDY6 to learn how dating coaching can transform your life.

7 Responses

  1. Wilma Reply

    I turned 50 years old February 2013, I have been divorced for 4 years and I have 2 boys ages 12 and 9. I was married for 26 years to a verbally and emotionally abusive man, I did not notice it personally but I noticed it with my boys. That is when I walked out of the house with the boys and filed for divorce. Here we are today I have the house, I have a very successfull carreer, I am told I look more late 30’s then 50 and the three of us are very happy. I have been dating, I do not introduce to boys because they do not last long enough and I do not want my boys to get hurt. It just seems once men find out I have children that young they loose interest. I pretty much believe there is no happily ever after.

    • Jeff Reply

      Wilma.
      Please don’t say there is no happily ever after. You have to be patient. I’m sure you’ll find that certain man. Please don’t give up and please be careful out there.

  2. Antoinette Reply

    Sandy,

    I’ve read your comments and feedback to some of the women on here and I just want to tell you that not all of us will be successful. I’ve been divorced for 15 years and waited 3 years after my 22 year marriage before I jumped back into the dating process. I wanted to be mentally and emotionally able to proceed. I dated for 10 years and met numerous men. I’m going to tell you that it’s not all the women who are making mistakes… I’ve taken the last two years off from dating because simply put I’m unable to find the quality of men I would enjoy spending time with. After meeting and going out with over 150 men, (it sounds like a lot, but remember it was over 10 and 11 year period) I’ve found that most don’t take the time to heal and a lot of men will date while in a relationship to “trade up” and a good deal of the men online are married. I’ve done all that you have suggested in your posts over the last 12 years and then some. I’m no slouch, but until I see someone who has integrity, at this point I’ve lost interest. I would end up in the same situation that I was in married for 22 years. If I can’t find someone who will be my best friend, who has integrity and has values who isn’t afraid to be a man I will probably be alone… BTW the woman my ex married ( living with her while still married to me) is on a constant roller coaster and unsure and insecure with him… I wouldn’t want that for any woman. I would love to find someone, but it’s no longer a goal in life… I have a life to live and if God intends that a man show up, then it might happen. If you look at the AARP stats for women my age to remarry it’s 13%… Those odds are not real encouraging… Men do remarry, and remarry and remarry…. Meaning they don’t know what they want but will jump in and jump out again. That doesn’t make for a health pocket book or emotional stability…

    Sorry I didn’t mean to run on, but I did want to state that yes I had done all and everything to find a good guy… Sometimes it’s better to sit back on the pitch.

    Thank you for allowing me to vent.

    Antoinette Parker

    • Tami Reply

      I’m 51 yrs old. I married when I was 20 and divorced at 23 due to violence due to alcohol. I then remarried at 29 and had my beautiful daughter at 30. When I was 40 my husband (which was 14 years older) just quit his job and drank. I lost all respect and divorced. My daughter is now almost 21 and Ive decided maybe a dinner or a movie every now and then but I have no idea what the rules are now! Could someone please give me a site that is good for my situation?

    • Tommi Reply

      I completely understand. I was beginning to feel like I was nuts.
      I’ve been single for nearly 10 years, have a good job (law enforcement), physically fit/active, and have met my share of men (who say they are over the ex etc), but have never actually healed from the breakup. They stuff emotions…. I was married to “That”, I’m not going backwards.
      I ask my friends why everyone else seems to be able to meet a man but I can barely make it through a decent date, ” You have standards and aren’t settling “.
      I’m glad they remind me I’m normal.
      I’ll keep doing my thing and taking my time. I’d rather be alone with good friends than in a relationship with wounded divorcée.

  3. Laura Reply

    Antoinette-I feel your pain. I was in 2 bad marriages. I have a great life, great kids, great friends and I stay very busy. I have been told that I am smart, funny and attractive. However, meeting a decent guy my age has been impossible for the past 10 years. Lately, I have been finding that most men my age either want a younger woman or are looking just for sex. The last man I went out with (63 and had been married 4 times) two times accused me of being Victorian and out of touch with the current times. I really do enjoy the physical part but it has to be the total package and I am not jumping right in the sack. I am about ready to throw in the towel.

    Laura

  4. Christy Reply

    Get a good attitude and work on yourself. I found if I focused on me, I stayed true to myself. Be proactive. Make a bucket list. Find like interested people and new interests if people are not who you thought. Be yourself. You should act in ways that reflect your personality. You have self image. Use it . Good luck.

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