What if you’re an extrovert, married to an introvert and, you are now practicing “social distancing?
One thing is for sure, introverts win when it comes to Social Distancing. They have no shame, no remorse whatsoever when hearing plans have been cancelled. They love having an acceptable excuse to stay home, and frankly breathe a sigh of relief knowing they don’t have to get out of their sweats..EVER! Yup, social distancing is a bonus for introverts. But it’s not a bonus for an extrovert and can be super challenging if you are married to one.
“Honey, we cant’ go to the Arts Garage tonight to listen to music with our friends.”
“Fine…that makes sense.”
“Well, what should we make for dinner then?”
“Don’t worry, we’ll figure something out.”
“But honey, I think the whole meal prep thing may become the highlight of our day if we are going to spend everyday together…let’s have some fun with it.”
I was becoming a little concerned as my husband’s new favorite interaction is with his Fun Bridge App, where he spends hours a day competing with others.
I did a little polling, not in person of course, of most of my girlfriends who are extroverts and married to introverts. They are all pretty much ready to kill their introverted husbands after just a week of self-prescribed lockdown.
But the most reliable poll I took was myself and my husband. I know that statisticians would not consider that statistically significantly but hey, if you are an extrovert with a high EQ, you know what’s real and what’s not.
“Honey, do you think we have enough pasta or red sauce to survive a full month lockdown?”
“Seriously, I wouldn’t worry, I’ve already ordered a fishing pole from Amazon. But, if I don’t get lucky you may want to get some tuna fish.”
“So, not funny.”
And then I was thinking of what kind of games we could play together.
“Honey, I was thinking we could play the game the kids brough us for Christmas, Upwords, that would be so fun.”
“Uggh, I don’t do word games.”
“Could we play backgammon?” I had just been sent this gorgeous backgammon set from Backgammon baby and I was so excited to relearn it. Now I had his attention.
And so we played and played. It took awhile to remember and we re-read the rules and played some great games which I lost most of. Finally we started gambling and that’s when the fun began. I think he owes me $16.
I was thrilled. So far, this is the only game we have tried and most of our time is spent reading and watching movies and taking walks. I am grateful for Facetime with friends as this Corona pandemic unfolds and we are all trying to make sense of it.
By the way, for extroverts who see a call coming in from their kids or friends on the old boring audio channel it’s frankly a let down. Serotonin kicks up when you FaceTime and I’m grateful my friends and family are into that.
I’ve had this time to reflect on our relationship as we are spending so much tine together and realized all the times my husband has been a calming influence. He’s been a godsend. And as much as I used to love it, now I find his calm to be incredibly irritating as he is unwilling to review disaster scenarios. I’ve gotten the raised eyebrow and dismissive look at pretty much every turn.
“Honey, we need cash. What if the banks shut down.”
“That’s stupid, we have credit cards.”
“Honey, my kids live in Seattle and LA, what if we can’t see them for a really long time or what if something happens.”
“You should fly there if you’re worried. But you know after 2 days, they will not be all that thrilled that you have moved in with them.”
‘Honey when you went to the store did you take the Purell?”
“Nope, I washed my hands when I got home.”
“So you touched the steering wheel, the door knobs and I know you used your shirt and then gave me a hug, so how is this germ thing working for us?”
“Alright enough, I need to live my life.”
We have been trying out Florida for the winter and my husband loves the warm weather. He welcomes sweat. The hotter the better. Me, not at all. I feel claustrophobic when there’s too much humidity and the sun is pounding down. I love cold weather and that has been major marital issue since day one but we have adapted by splitting our time between the north and the south… Until Now!
“Honey, it’s mid March and 80 plus degrees. It could be in the 90’s by next month and what if we can’t drive up north. What if they close the roads?”
I didn’t get too far with that conversation.
“Oh he says, my old friend just flew in yesterday from Maryland and I’m meeting him later,”
“No, you can’t”
“And so the fight began.”
He’s a tad casual and calm and I’m trying to keep us whistle clean.
This lockdown thing is getting challenging.