Don’t mess with me.  I’m out of sorts with my grouchy pants on and I’m not apologizing. The last four weeks have been a whirl of sadness, travel, work, and joy. I’ve lost any ability to pivot for extra events. I’ve been smiling so hard my brain hurts from keeping my mouth shut.

My Brother-in-Law did not plan to die, but that doesn’t make me less mad about it. The four of us gathered, three supporting my sister as she navigated the impossible. Of course, we started noodling each other, as siblings do. I got the brunt of the teasing. Complainer? Anal? Bossy? Me? What? I took the criticism under advisement, but it still hurt. During my late-night pity-party I discovered a two-inch-long hair growing out of the side of my jaw. Which thankfully no sibling noticed, although the teasing about that would have been preferable. I didn’t know if I should laugh or take pictures.

Nephew’s Bride-to-be’s Shower. Way too much time spent beating myself up about what to wear for a twenty-eight-hour trip. The shower was lovely, decorated to perfection with the food and company wonderful. I filled myself with dread being intimidated by new people and situations for no reason. Turns out I do know how to dress and act; why don’t I trust myself?

Meanwhile, work.  Quarterly Business Reviews plus back-to-back in-person meetings, left little time for regular duties. The Power Points were strenuous: Presentations out for editing; people cajoled and nagged to update; updates done on my own when no one responds, sent out again for approval on the made-up revisions; take the heat for incorrect information; etc. etc. No wonder it’s called work.  Invariably we ran out of time to show the entire presentation. Smile. Is now a good time to ask for a raise?

Girl’s Weekend. I learned nothing from the previous weekend. Another fourteen hours agonizing over what to wear, driving myself bonkers over the big v. little suitcase decision. I left my jean jacket behind at the last minute (too casual) only to discover three ladies at my gate sporting, yes, jean jackets. HA! We sat for hours enjoying a Jazz Band with a hot trumpet player, only to have the spa call (after hours!) to cancel one of our long-scheduled services. It felt good to cancel the rest of our appointments.  This was a delightful weekend, just bad timing amid all the chaos.

Another Bridal Shower. Four of us throw a Bridal Shower for the fifth’s Daughter. It seemed so easy at the outset: green salad, fruit salad, quiche, tiny cakes. I skated in with days to spare only to be impatient about shrimp: bigger shrimp, smaller shrimp, where to put the shrimp on the table, ARGHHH. I spent two hours picking up a special pan and three hours baking extra chocolate cakes, UGH. It turned out to be an afternoon filled love and laughter, a proper celebration of the lovely Bride-to-be. I love my Friends and hope they forgive my pique.

Finally, I arrive home to my ever patient and supportive Husband. What I really want a glass of wine and a nap, never mind it’s eleven am. He wants tales of the weeks now thankfully over. The unread newspapers and magazines are stacked twelve inches high. I haven’t been to Pilates. There are one thousand unread emails in my personal inbox. I’ve gained three pounds. Another trip is coming up in two weeks. Somehow, I’ve killed two “air” plants, WTF.

Got to go, I feel a yet another hair growing out of a mole on my chin that needs attention. Strange, apart from my BIL, in prior years I would have called this “May”.  Hmmm.

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