Carol Leek
Step 1: Get good at something that you have always wanted to do, but never did because of your ex.
A hobby, a new job, starting a business, a particular sport, a talent, etc. The sheer excitement of you moving forward and doing something that you know you could be good at will only increase your drive to succeed. Success is the ultimate revenge — if revenge is what you are looking for. A good life coach can help you reveal those passions that you have hidden in you and are bursting at the seams to get out. There is no time like the present to get started.
Step 2: Get out of debt.
Get rid of those annoying credit cards and extra payments that you know you don’t need. See a financial planner or debt counselor, and make the move to be debt free. If this seems impossible, change your mind-set. Instead of saying, “I will never get out of debt!” tell yourself instead, “I will get out of debt and I will start today.” Then, make the move to do so. A good life coach can help you do this with just a few sessions. You will have to do the work though, one day and one-step at a time.
Step 3: Show some respect and love
For yourself that is! Be kind to yourself on a daily basis. Stop that negative self-talk and give yourself some giant hugs instead. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Give yourself at least one complement every day and accept ALL the compliments you receive from others, graciously. You will be amazed at the confidence you can gain just from these few simple exercises, done over a week’s time. When you love yourself, you are making it easy for others to love you as well. Can you say, “I love you” to you right now?
Step 4: Listen more, talk less
This is sometimes a difficult knack to master, but with a little practice, it can be done. Did you know that when you just listen, you can actually hear what the other person is saying? Okay…I’m being sarcastic here but in reality, God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. When you take time to listen, you can better understand what is being said. Therefore, you may reply with a dignified answer, or choose to nod and say, “Alright, I hear what you are saying” and end the conversation there. If you have never done this before, I highly recommend that you try it. No need to keep old habits of getting tit-for-tat. You have better things to do. This is called empowerment. This skill is one that coaches love to help people appreciate.
Step 5: Build a network of support
Now is the time to makes friends and rid yourself of toxic ones. Did you know that negativity breeds negativity? Yuk! That just sounds bad! So, stop hanging out with the negative Nellie’s and Nate’s. Work on rekindling those relationships that have meant something to you and make some new friends. Treat your family members like friends (if they are!), and refuse to discuss your ex unless YOU bring them up. People will most likely be thankful for that. Move forward and have fun. Live again and love again. It is the best feeling ever.
Step 6: Gain strength…in your Faith.
Nothing is better than having God on your side. No matter your faith, it can be a source of strength and inspiration at a time when you really need it. My Christian beliefs give me love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. When you have all that going on inside of you, you cannot help but be a better person. I’m not saying that all of these attributes show up at once! However, by embracing them when they do show up, and letting them live inside you, you are able to be stronger spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.