Sexy After 60? Nine Tips to Get You There Fast

Invisible. Matronly. Indifferent to her looks (and to sex). Old.

That’s what we’re led to believe by a society obsessed with youth. At a time in our lives when many women say they have more energy, a greater sex drive, and more common sense and empathy than during any other decade, we struggle against a culture that often thinks women over sixty are (gasp) no longer young. And this forever sets us apart form our younger, hotter counterparts, because no matter what else we do with our lives, we’re still, well… old.

Regardless of our accomplishments and contributions to world peace, people will forever put our age before any other description. “She’s 68. Oh, and she cured cancer.” “She’s 70 this year. And she’s a federal judge.” “She’s 82. And she teaches tennis to disabled children.” Somehow, many people believe that the most important thing about woman over 60 is that she’s over 60.

To those idiots, I say “Horse pucky.”

The most significant thing about social cultures and beliefs is that too often we believe them, even if they’re stupid. We start to believe we’re invisible. We think we should wear nondescript clothing because we don’t want to look like we’re trying too hard to look young (or because we don’t have a clue what to wear anymore, so we decide to play it safe).

While it’s true that we can look silly in our attempts to channel Beyonce, any Kardashian sister, or Miley Cyrus, most of us don’t want to look like Aunt Bee either (Millennials might want to Google this one). But sexy is a evolving process. Sexy at 60 is not the same as sexy at 30, 40, or 50. What looks sexy at 30 can look trampy at 50. What’s hot at 40 looks kind of sad when you’re 70. The key is to celebrate your sexiness now. At whatever age you are. Get into it and have fun.

First, weed out everything in your closet that you can’t or don’t want to wear. Maybe it doesn’t fit. Maybe it’s a horrible color on you. Maybe it’s just ugly. I don’t care what you paid for it or if it was a gift from your mother-in-law. If it makes you feel fat, frumpy, or invisible, get rid of it. It’s time to shine, woman.

Once you’re down to the good stuff, you can start to build a wardrobe of flattering, classy pieces that make you feel fabulous and sophisticated every time you wear them. Pieces that make you say, “I am woman.” Pieces that make you feel sexy.

Some suggestions that can help you rock your 60s:

1. Statement accessories. Younger women often pile it on with small, but multiple pieces. It’s cute. But one strong statement piece is cleaner and more elegant. Statement pieces don’t have to be expensive. Just dramatic and cool. Consider an oversize, man’s style watch. I have several, and they range in price, but I get the most compliments on the one I bought for twenty bucks from a street vendor. Go figure.
2. A leather skirt. Always a classic, go-with-anything item. This isn’t about tight leather miniskirts. Leave those to Tina Turner. That woman rocks the miniskirt like nobody’s business, and she’ll be doing it in her 90s. The rest of us look oh-so-chic in A-lines or straight styles, with a fabulous fit, slightly above or below the knee. Wear it with an oversize, man’s white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and you’ll kill ’em.
3. Great fitting jeans. With the bazillion jean designers around the world and online shopping becoming the way of the world, there’s no excuse for mom jeans. Great fitting jeans make your legs look longer, your butt look perkier, and your hips appear smoother. The bad ones put weight on your belly and butt with thick fabric and heavy stitching on the fly and the back pockets. And they often don’t fit well down the legs, so they bag in the back and sag in the front. Yeah, no. Keep looking until you find the perfect pair. They should be soft, lightweight, stretchy, and comfortable, with a high enough rise to keep your Great Crevice out of sight. When you find the brand, buy them in every wash they make.
4. Add color. Neutrals, while always classic, can also be boring and can wash you out, making you look tired and older. Move the neutrals (tan, nude, beige, dusty pastels, khaki) away from your face. Wear them on the bottom and add brightly colored sweaters, blazers, or t-shirts. Color next to your face will brighten your skin tone and make you look like you just returned from a weekend at the spa.
5. Don’t be afraid to try prints. These are a great way to show off your personality and best assets. Right now, prints are hot, so you’ll have lots of fun choices. Try animal prints. Florals. Plaids. Polka dots. Whatever catches your eye. But limit your print piece to one item in an outfit at a time. A black blouse with a beautiful neckline would look fabulous with an leopard print A-line skirt. But combining a leopard print skirt with a leopard print jacket can make you look like you charge by the hour.
6. Pick your best features and show them off. Find clothes that draw attention to what you like about yourself (If you can’t think of anything, ask your husband. If he can’t think of anything, ask a girlfriend. Then shoot your husband). Everybody has something good. If you have great cleavage, get tops with a slightly lower neckline (yes, it’s okay) and show off a glimpse. If you have Ms. Turner’s legs (we’re jealous), wear lots of dresses or skirts. If you have a beautiful back, get racer-back style tops. If you have a tiny waist, look for curvy tops that accentuate your hourglass shape. If your triceps aren’t waddling, wear short sleeves. Bonus: It’s more fun to shop for clothes that strut your best stuff, rather than shopping for clothes that hide everything you hate about your body. Win-win.
7. Check your posture. Hunchbacks make us look older, period. In some cases, this is not preventable. But most of time, it’s a results of years of not sitting or standing up straight. Eventually, bones compress, movement is less fluid, and we start to walk like old women. Do a mental check every now and then. You might be surprised at how often you’re slouching and you don’t even know it. (Another bonus: When you stand up straight, you lengthen your torso, automatically whacking off about five pounds, and you didn’t even have to diet.) Sweet.
8. Have at least one Spanx available in your closet for your date nights. Most of us are never going to be supermodel thin (or even want to be). But 20-30 years of not enough exercise, too much food (ditto alcohol), and poor lifestyle choices has cause our bodies to be less than perfect by age 60. Even if we wear the same size we wore when we were younger, we don’t have the same bodies. That’s where Spanx come in. When you put them on under your favorite Little Black Dress, you’ll instantly appear firmer, thinner, and smoother. Best sixty bucks spent ever.
9. Download some of your favorite positive songs and listen to them in the morning when you’re getting ready to face the day. Turn it up. Sing along, and dance like nobody’s watching. Get into the lyrics. My personal favorite is “All About the Bass,” by Meghan Trainor. There’s no way you can listen to that song and not dance along, feeling good about yourself. It’s. Not. Possible. I play that while I’m getting dressed, and I leave the house feeling good. And even a little sexy.