Georgia O'keefe paintingLadies, are you in control of your libido? Or is it out running wild around town? I was pretty taken aback at Mike Huckabee’s recent statement, particularly this phrase, “women of America because they cannot control their libido or reproductive system.”

We live in a world of overt, explicit sexuality. And very little of it reflects a healthy attitude towards women’s sexuality. Sexual violence, slut shaming and political fights to control and limit our access to birth control and other reproductive services have become the new norm. I think it threatens to keep us from exploring a natural aspect of our lives—our sexuality.

What’s so scary about a woman with an active libido? We’re not going to rob a bank with our fully expressed sexuality. We’re more likely to support the “Make Love, Not War” slogan of past years. Loving our bodies, our sensuous natures, and embracing our sexual desire makes us happier people—and it makes the men in our lives happier people as well.

Too often the message women hear is that it is not OK to want sex. It starts at a very early age, when we admonish girls to cover up their bodies. We must be pure and chaste. And boys? Well, “boys will be boys”.

What a blessing to be over 50, free of birth control issues, and able to embrace our desires and urges without worrying about appearing slutty. Because in a world where age serves to make us invisible we don’t have to worry about being called dirty names. We’re grannies, we’re old, we’re past our prime. The worst they can call us is Cougars.

Bring it on! This is the month of romance. So, why not take the next 7 days to reengage with the sexy you in preparation for Valentine’s Day? Let that uncontrollable libido sweep you away. What’s the worst thing that could happen? Your partner might think he’s died and gone to heaven! You’ll feel great with all that positive sexual energy bouncing around.

I have a length of red ribbon, left over from Christmas, begging to be used. It sits on my dresser in the bedroom, tempting me to create various fantasies. Here’s one for Valentine’s Day:

As he walks in the door after work, I’m standing in the front hall to greet him. I demand he take all his clothes off—right there, right then. I’m dressed of course. Maybe I’m in a fire-engine red negligee? Maybe I’m wearing head to toe leather. The ribbon is in my hands as I decide how to use it.  What I’d like to do is tie a pretty bow around his ‘oh so excited to see you’ private part.  If it’s not quite firm enough to hold up the bow (yet), I have other ideas.

I make him turn around and close his eyes. Maybe I hand him a glass of his favorite bourbon first. And, then I blindfold him with my red ribbon and, wrapping my arms around him (with breasts pressed against his back), I guide him to the bed.

Or alternately, I wait and use the ribbon when I get him to the bed and tie his hands up to the bedpost while I get him warmed up.

Can you sense the fun and juicy anticipation created with this fantasy? Does it give you some ideas about how to get playful? Women are naturally sexy creatures. Our libidos are not dangerous nor do they need controlling. If anything, we need to give ourselves permission to expand our sexual natures—to fantasize, to play, to give voice to our desires.

You know you want to. So what’s stopping you?

Here are a couple of articles to inspire:

Naughty Or Nice, What Will You Give Your Partner for Christmas

Sexuality, a Vital Conversation for Women Over 50

My recent article for Bloom-Enjoy Yourself – Forget The Chocolates, Give Your Loved One the Gift of Intimacy

You can find articles and more information at WalkerThornton  and on her Facebook page

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