Are you on the prowl for Mr. or Mrs. Right, the perfect soul mate or a twin flame to spark up your life?
Do you tell everyone you are really happy alone but secretly crave a warm someone in your bed?
As a lifestyle coach to the rich, the famous and the not so famous, I have observed that good looks, a great body and fame or fortune is not a recipe for love. Many of the people who I work with have achieved so-called “success,” yet they still seek that special someone. In most cases, I act as a lightening rod for my clients, sending a bolt of energy towards creating an opportunity for love to arrive.
According to The Washington Post, online dating is a billion dollar business; Match.com states that that one out of every five matches are made online; 20 million people have filled out the 400 questions on e-harmony.
People are looking for love, but are they looking in the right place? I have 6,000 friends on Facebook and I doubt that any of them will end up being my mate.
According to the New York Times, over 51 percent of American men and women choose to remain single.
This is a 15-20 percent increase from our parents’ generation. What is at the root of our diminished capacity to find and maintain suitable partners?
I’ve learned that we are the producers, directors, scriptwriters and lead actors in the personal drama that we call life.
Many years ago, after an exhausting chase up a windy trail, following the scent of yet another unavailable mate, I collapsed. The pain was debilitating. As my friends grew weary of my tears, the invitations to call on them for support ceased. I spent a fortune seeking advice from psychics, trying to find any sliver of meaning.
One day, desperate in every area of my life, including a pinched nerve that left me stranded within myself, I broke.
It was only then that the final words of the gypsy fortune teller—a woman who offered the cheapest of readings, not even upgraded candle magic—resonated in my inner ear. She said, “You would do yourself the biggest favor by staying out of relationships for a long, long time.” Suddenly I knew that an enormous tree had fallen across my trail, blocking the path ahead.
It was then that I realized how to write my own juicy script pulsing with adventure, power, love, wisdom and freedom. This could transform me into the person who I wanted to attract.
The journey was arduous, but somewhere along the way I realized that the “someone” who I had always been seeking was myself.
Even still, I did get lonely and I continued to want love.
I tried online dating. Even Match.com told me the chances of finding love with my list of specifications was less than three persent of all available prospects. I did find a date or two, but odds were not good for love. One time I traveled two hours for a dinner date, just to realize as I stepped out of the car that I was wearing mismatched shoes—another sign that my inner and outer world were not aligned. After that dinner, I decided to stop seeking other and put the focus on me.
And when you do, why not create an Oscar-worthy film—a real life extravaganza in which you’ll have the leading role and give the performance of your life.
Renee Baribeau blogs at www.thepracticalshaman.com. This article previously appeared in www.elephantjournal.com