Molly Warren
Ah, weddings. They are supposed to be great events, filled with joy, bringing families together. I have been to many weddings lately, but right now, I have the wedding bell blues.
My 22 year old son has decided to get married. The idea is, graduate college, then have a wedding. I am less than enthusiastic. Everyone I know is less than enthusiastic. For many reasons.
One reason is his youth. 22? What about all of the things he always talked about doing? Traveling, hiking, backpacking Europe, seeing the world? Graduate school? All of these lifelong goals are being put aside. His fiancé wants to settle down, buy a house, start talking about having a family (a family? I am having heart palpitations). And he is going along with it. No more flying (he became a pilot in his teens), no more hand gliding. She does not like those activities, she feels they are too dangerous.
Another reason: they are so different from one another. They have different aspirations for the future…or at least, they used to. Now, he is doing what she wants to do.
The most important reason we are less than enthusiastic? She doesn’t like our family. Any of us. At all. Or our friends. I’m not kidding. We are loud (true), we are too close (can a family be too close?), we talk to each other too often, and we are in each other’s faces and business. We have always been an engaged family…which means we are in touch. She doesn’t like the way we do things. Everyone is uncomfortable when she is here, especially her. She cannot wait to leave. You have never seen anyone pack so rapidly in your life.
I am afraid I am losing my son. He does call and talk to me once in a while when she is not around (and he doesn’t tell her he’s talked to me), but things are very different now. At times, I feel like he has become a different person. Is that possible? How does one just give up their passions in life and change like this? His personality has changed….we hear a lot of “you don’t know me or understand me” from him. Is this normal? I just feel like all of the “giving up” is being done on my son’s side of the equation.
Children grow up, they leave the nest, they meet other birds, and they feather their own nests. I get it. I’m okay with the concept. After all the drama and heartache that has surrounded this engagement I know there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop it. They are getting married. I have to accept it, and I have to be able to put on a happy face at the wedding.
Getting through this wedding is going to take a lot of Xanax. I’m going to call my doctor now.