I would have sworn I had at least two more years before I needed to have my driver’s license renewed.
My doctor’s office informed me otherwise.
I went to the doctor a few weeks ago because I was in sinus infection and bronchitis hell. It was the first time I was in the office this year and I had to refill out a bunch of paperwork which is super annoying because it is 2017 and couldn’t they retain these forms digitally and I could give a new electronic signature each year?
If you work for a doctor’s office and have a perfectly reasonable explanation regarding this, I don’t want to hear it. I prefer to be annoyed by this once a year. It serves a purpose. I get annoyed by filling out the paperwork, then I think about doctor visits, and remember to schedule my mammogram.Â
But I digress.
When I went to the doctor, the front desk person said I needed to show my new license.
Me: I don’t have a new license.
Front desk: Your license is expired.
Me: No it isn’t.
Front desk:…
Me: Oh. Hey. My license is expired.
I know I have six months before I would have to retake the test, but I know how quickly six months can pass. No one needs that kind of headache. So, being the responsible adult I am, I took my expired driver’s license to the BMV and got a new one less than 2 months after the old one expired.
I think I’m nearly ready to start giving “how to adult” classes.Â
I took a number. 25. They called for number 7.
This is going to be a while.Â
Did any people with numbers lower than mine have normal transactions to make? No. No they did not. Every person I saw go to the counter had some complicated issue which required massive research and a goat sacrifice.
Still, a long lunch in the BMV is better than a cubicle.
It came time to take the picture. Something I will not have to suffer through again until I’m 58.
Holy sh*t, I have no idea how I got this old. It’s f**king weird.Â
Picture lady: Just look at the dot and smile.
Picture lady: Oookay. That one isn’t going to work. You closed your eyes.
Picture lady: Just look at the dot. Go ahead and smile.
Picture lady: Yeah, that one isn’t going to work, either.
Me: Did I close my eyes again?
Picture lady: Uh, No. That’s not the problem. Maybe, you should try not smiling.
We got an acceptable image on the third try.
I got back to work and told the network dude about the picture fiasco.
Network dude: Can I see your license?
Me: Sure.
Network dude: You look like you’re about to tell someone to f**k off.
I came home from work and told Randy the whole story. The long line, the picture fails, how my picture looks like I’m super annoyed.
Randy: Let me see it.
Randy: I like this picture. I think it’s pretty.
Me: Don’t you think I look super annoyed?
Randy: I don’t know. I think you look the way you usually look.
Me:…
Me:…
Me: I’m not always with you.
Randy:…
So consider this a PSA from me to you. Check your license, more time has probably passed than you think. Also, just give up on looking good for your photo. It will never happen. Â It can, however, be a handy reminder of what your resting bitch face looks like.