2013 will stand out for me as the year I took big risks. I’ve stepped far out of my comfort zone both personally and professionally. And, it feels good. No one has tried to knock me down or criticize. And my sons and family are still speaking to me (though they may not be reading my work).
What have I done this year that was so risky? Besides declaring myself a Sex Goddess, I began writing seriously about sex and talking about it—in small groups, at parties, on Huffington Post Live—everywhere! And, I’ve been enjoying sex (purely business-related, of course) more during this year as well. It’s hard to research and write about sex in a vacuum. Fortunately I have a playmate who is delighted to be a part of this new phase of my life.
Just this past Saturday FedEx delivered a new sex toy for review—they’re coming to me now with offers! I got an invitation to submit a sex education article for a future publication. That comes on top of, and probably as a result of, being included in the list of Top 100 Sex Writing Superheroes for 2013. I am honored to be recognized for writing about sex for older women.
I have been nominated for a Health Activist Award for my work in women’s sexual health. (Feel free to endorse me if you’d like) And, I’ll be one of the speakers at Catalyst Con, a sexuality focused conference to be held in the Washington, D.C. area in March 2014.
I am bragging. Doing a little self-promotion. Women don’t always feel comfortable showing off their hard-earned awards. We tend to defer, to apologize for doing a good job and to say we aren’t worthy, which amounts to giving away our power. My mission, as a sex writer, is to help you step into your power as a woman. Delving into sex has given me a new appreciation for my own capabilities. And, I want to help you find that same feeling.
There are plenty of voices trying to deny our right to be sexual. They say we’re too old for sex. Women will tell us emphatically that menopause causes you to lose your libido. Some will say that giving up sex was easy and tell us they don’t miss it. And they may even been a little preachy and judgmental when faced with your radiant sexual self.
Don’t believe them. I turned 59 in August—none of those things have happened to me. Instead of taking a passive role around my sexuality I am working to create the kind of sexual feelings and interactions I want and need. Who says we have to listen to those voices? Being more in tune with my sexuality has given me the energy, the creativity and the confidence to pursue life in a new way. I’m enjoying the feeling of being in the right place at the right time. That’s not to say that I don’t have challenges, but overall I’m in a fabulous place.
And, I owe it all to sex. Ha, ha…. I owe it to finding clarity about what I enjoy and how I can make a difference. The private exploration and the sense of confidence I have about knowing and asking for what I want has led to more confidence in my professional pursuits. Writing about sex is more than amusement; it is a way to reach out and support women around their sexuality. You write me private emails sharing your stories, you comment here enthusiastically. And even in your silence I know you’re reading and thinking and daring to expand your world. I love the idea that I might be helping women feel better about themselves sexually. How awesome is that?
It’s your turn—brag a little about yourself. It doesn’t have to be related to sex, but sex is more fun!