Do you find that watching romantic, sexy love scenes gets you “in the mood?” Research has shown that women are just as visually stimulated as men. So, why not take advantage of that and add movies to the list of things that help us feel sexier and more interested in sex?
I’m a big fan of movies. I enjoy cute boy-gets-girl movies like Must Love Dogs and Sleepless in Seattle, but they’re not movies a man really wants to watch—they’re “chick-flicks.” What we’re talking about today are movies with sexual content–implied or explicit.
A good sexy movie should be one that gives you a little tingle—it puts you in the mood. We’re talking about the kind of movie that compels you to give him a long, juicy kiss, or slide your fingers along his thigh….
Ideally, I want to recommend movies with intelligent characters—preferably older—playing compelling roles. The sex is integral to the story line and tastefully portrayed.
Here are a few movies I’ve seen and recommend. In each of these movies the women are making their own choices when it comes to sex. You don’t see coercion or passive women; women in these movies enter into sexual relationships as equal consensual partners.
1. My all-time favorite movie with a sexy, smart female role is Dangerous Beauty. I absolutely love this movie and recommend it to friends all the time! It’s a gorgeous film with a little humor, lots of luscious scenery, drama and sexy scenes. I think it has appeal for men—important if you want to watch it as a couple. The story is based on the true story of a 16th-century Venetian courtesan. It’s a fascinating movie about love and the power that women possess, intellectually and sexually.
2. Thomas Crown Affair, either version. The dance scene between Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo is intensely sensuous (in the movie her dress is see-through, it was altered for television) The movie features a confident woman making empowered choices. The director creates a sexual tension between the two main characters that serves to enhance the relationship.
3. If you’re looking for steamy sex scenes, Unfaithful, starring Diane Lane with Olivier Martinez as her lover, is perfect. It’s a squirm-in-your-seat kind of movie with an incredibly sexy soundtrack. Lane’s character comes unleashed, tapping into a sexual energy that brings her alive. Fascinating to watch and guaranteed to have you feeling sexy.
4. Bull Durham is a movie for both the sports aficionado and the romantic. I put up with the baseball stuff just to get to the scenes of Costner and Susan Sarandon dancing together. The scene where he ties her to the bed and paints her toenails ranks up there as one of my fantasies. I’ve yet to find a man who’s willing to paint my toenails, but a woman can wish. This is a good choice if you’re not comfortable with the idea of a purely “sexy” movie.
5. Shakespeare in Love is a pretty movie. A young Gwyneth Paltrow and Joseph Fiennes play lovers in this movie—sexy but light. Sensuous and beautifully filmed. It’s an entertaining, feel good movie.
6. Letters to Juliet is a sweet movie, romantic not sexy, that balances youthful determination with some wonderful mature acting. It’s the older couple, featuring Vanessa Redgrave, we’re rooting for, knowing that the young couple will inevitably fall in love along the way.
7. Love and Other Drugs is surprisingly sexy and poignant. Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal have a tepid relationship with hot sex. It’s on the list because the characters care deeply about each other and struggle with major life issues. The sex is pretty explicit but it’s not gratuitous.
It’s Complicated and Something’s Gotta Give are often brought up as romantic movies for older women. It is reassuring to see movies where people over the age of 40 are seen as interested in having sex. But the films don’t have much depth and they reinforce the typical clichés, the older woman/younger man pairing of Diane Keaton and Keanu Reeves in Something’s Gotta Give. And in It’s Complicated Meryl Streep struggles post-divorce trying to figure out if she has made the right choices. The scenes involving sex are given a “funny” quality as if everyone would be uncomfortable with sex at “that age.” Both movies do present strong female leads—women with successful careers and lives—yet when it comes to sex they’re conflicted and uncertain about what they’re doing. And maybe that does reflect the lives of many older women. Reassuring, but not terribly sexy.
Some other favorites:
The English Patient—another one of my favorites
Lady Chatterley’s Lover (watch the one with Sylvia Kristel)
What sexy movies do you like to watch? Let us know!
Next week: stay tuned, we’re talking about penises.