Hope you are well. Noticed you “unfriended” me which is absolutely fine. Not a nice thing to do. Wish you the best Grace. We truly have nothing to share. True colors always surface.

That was a text I was shocked to receive from one of my oldest friends, Marla. We had been best friends in seventh grade – seventh grade besties do absolutely everything together. We slept at each other’s houses every weekend, wore the same clothes, ate the same food, even had our own language. Marla was the IT girls in middle school. If someone said,“everyone is coming to the party,” it meant Marla would be there. She was beautiful, smart and athletic. She seemingly had it all.

Then . . . we weren’t best friends anymore. Marla started hanging out with a different, faster crowd and by the time we graduated from high school, we lost contact.

But that connection we had in seventh grade ran deep and off and on in our adult life, our paths would cross, and we could almost speak our language again. Marla and I did not have a lot in common. We had not shared experiences since we were thirteen. Yet, I cared deeply about her. I think sometimes I cared about her in a thirteen-year-old girl way – I wanted, needed, her to like me.

I looked at that text and my heart started beating through my chest. Marla was mad at me. She called out my true colors. At one time in our lives, no one knew my true colors better than Marla and she loved them. Now she was canceling me.

I frantically looked on Facebook. I knew I didn’t unfriend her – how the heck do you even unfriend someone?!? I was sweating a bit and trying to figure out what happened and how to fix it. I remember I had tried to block some of her posts because our politics could not be more opposite. Could I have, did I . . . unfriend her. I calmed myself down and thought this is just a silly misunderstanding. But God, Grace, why do care so much?

OMG Marla, that’s so weird. I just said to someone that I never see Marla’s posts anymore. That is why a 54-year-old is dangerous on social media. I love you and always have, always will. Can we be friends again Haha! Just like in real life, we keep becoming friends over and over.

I am very intuitive and I do take notice of who has liked my most meaningful posts. Actually, who I think would but never does. It’s very telling. I see that you like other people’s posts but not mine. I’ve given this too much time already. Always do wish you well.

Whaaat? Are you serious? People, Marla, actually look at which posts on other people’s timelines I like? You have got to be kidding me. She must have been kidding.

Come on, Marla, you’re kidding, right? You’ll accept my friend request, won’t you?

I KNOW, and strictly from my own intuition, that you are not being honest with me. I have my own theories, but really, does it matter?

At that point, I didn’t even know what she was talking about. And for the first time in our long, storied friendship, I was done. I had known for a while in my head that I did not need Marla in my life. For some reason, however, in my heart, I wanted to be her friend. But as a woman in my mid-fifties who is surrounded by wonderful girlfriends who fill my cup every day, I had come to the end of my Marla rope. I was not going to justify my Facebook activity, tell her how much I loved her or how important she was to me. I did not need Marla’s approval or love. I didn’t even want it anymore. I was strong enough to walk away with no guilt and no regret. This was clearly Marla’s issue, not mine, and I was finally ready to leave my seventh-grade girl insecurities behind. I turned off my phone and walked away from an old “friend.”

Making Peace with Myself When I was Unfriended on Facebook was last modified: by

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