I love the word “blur” on any anti-aging product. The word itself tells me I am going to have a filter slapped across my face until I take it off. Turning 50 in the midst of a pandemic I knew I could only control one thing, my online and social media image or more accurately, my age image. Blurring my age with cosmetics to meet the daily requirements of Zoom calls and Facebook pics to interact with the world made me feel better about my appearance. Until I could actually see my dermatologist, esthetician, hair stylist, manicurist and waxing specialist, I would need to control what people saw on my own. Months passed with only Amazon beauty picks from thirty-year old, half-wit influencers at my disposal and I convinced myself that in reality, everyone is a bit blurred.
In my twenties and thirties, I discovered the truly miraculous function of birth control pills was to correct my complexion. Then, my forties were spent in the sun and tanning beds that kept me bronzed. Just add a little highlighter on top of a tan and imperfections were blurred and super shiny. Fast forward to 49 years old, trapped at home in a pandemic with my pale face, and roots several inches long showing very unwelcome silver highlights, I started the barbaric journey of perimenopause. Instantly, “Peri” as I refer to her, wielded a fast pick and dug deep, defined lines on my face, while simultaneously gathering every dead skin cell to build pyramids on my cheeks and chin that would never exfoliate fast enough or well enough. I won’t discuss the horrors of my uneven skin tone that a good tan might fix if only I could still sit in the sun but am now slathered in Vitamin C and retinoids to correct sun damage. Yes, seriously.
My first semi-post pandemic visit to my gynecologist was a skin-care mission. Could I now use HRT to help my skin the same way I used birth control? Not an option I was told by a vast array of physicians because of a family history of breast cancer. I saw every doctor, I had OTC and prescription concoctions to help blur my appearance, but I didn’t trust doctors so I turned to social media to find better answers. Scrolling through Facebook, one ad led me to another ad that led to me to the product I needed. “My God,” I thought, “a product that is designed to blur my face and neck!” After a few days of convincing myself that I had nothing to lose except about forty dollars, I ordered about $200 of a skin-care line to help blur my face. I feverishly researched the magical, blurring product until the day my international package was dropped at my doorstep.
The blur in a pot concoction worked rather well even though I didn’t receive a professional result, it made me feel better. Two years later, at 51, I still use the blurring product and wonder how I now use eight skin care products in the morning and another eight, slightly different products in the evening. Oddly, I actually know what they all are supposed to do and one of them is sunscreen. I’m not certain I will ever allow myself to look my age, but I can say for sure, I will continue to take my skincare seriously as I always have. Well… perhaps that line is a bit blurry too.