How To Eat Like A 50-Something Woman

How does a smart, engaged, healthy, 50-something woman eat? After spending a couple of days up in the White Mountains with four women whom I love (but are not related to me) I haven’t a clue. We are as nuts about food today, in our 50s, as we were in our 20s, our 30s, or our 40s. Actually, probably a little more so.

Who can blame us? The information out there is confusing. We have aches and pains that we would love to attribute solely to what we are eating, and not the joint which is now bone on bone. If we just eat completely healthy- “clean” – we will be fine. But what’s a girl to do when she loves peanut M & Ms? Get rid of white sugar and white flour “cold turkey”?

Should we go Vegan? Vegetarian? Pesca-vegan? Paleo? Weight Watchers? How do we live without a glass (or two) of red wine while we cook dinner (and sometimes, instead of dinner.) We are a mixed bag of nuts (currently almonds, pistachios, walnuts and hazelnuts.)

Hang around a bunch of 50-something women for a few days, and you might hear things like this:

“OMG you brought up CANDY!   Swedish Fish, Necco Wafers, Good n’ Plenty! I love those!”

I don’t eat sugar.

I would be so happy eating just candy for dinner.

I can’t believe I ate the whole bowl of candy.

Somebody take this candy away from me. Hide it. I cannot be trusted.

“I made a low cal eggplant parm- broiled, not fried. It’s vegetarian, so everyone can eat it!”

I don’t eat cheese.

I threw up from eggplant parm last week.

I hate eggplant.

I don’t do breadcrumbs..

“I made a delicious turkey chili!”

It looks like dog food…but it’s good. Where’s the hot sauce?

I don’t eat beans- gas, duh.

I don’t eat beans- carbs, duh.

I don’t eat meat, but I gave the turkey chili to the dog. She LOVED it.

“Try some of this delicious cabbage, roasted in coconut oil!”

This is the best stuff EVER.

OMG this is amazing.

How did you make this?

Coconut oil…OMG you spoil us!

“I was planning on making whipped cream to go with my gluten free, organic apple crisp.”

The cream is from free range, grass fed, extremely contented cows.

Heavy cream? Shoot me.

I don’t give a shit how happy the cows were, I am not eating heavy cream– EVER.

You’re going to have to whip that cream with a fork because I don’t have a mixer.

You need fat in your diet, you know.

I don’t think that’s one of my issues.

“Are you hungry? Want to eat?”

I’m always hungry.

I never feel hungry with my new way of eating.

I just ate a bowl of candy- I want to kill myself.

Let’s have a glass of wine to start.

“Ooooh—that’s too much wine for me! Just a half glass please.”

Where is your shaker? I’m doing gluten free vodka.

I’ll have her half glass.

I’ll have some more wine.

I’ll have some more wine.

The bottle’s gone. What’s next- red or white?

“Who wants coffee?”

I’ll have 2% milk, frothed.

I don’t drink milk.

I only drink skim.

I only drink whole milk- did I mention you need fat in your diet?

“It’s breakfast time!”

Is the lox from organic, wild salmon?

An English muffin? What are you CRAZY—there’s carbs in there!

I’ll have Cottage cheese, avocado and lox- all mixed together.

I’ll have an omelete.

I never eat breakfast.

Hung out with your friends lately?  Got any good food stories you want to share?