Sandy Weiner
My divorce was a wake up call on many fronts. I had spent most of my marriage in a bit of a stupor. I convinced myself that life was as good as it gets. As an artist, I believed I had average talent, even though others told me my work was amazing. I never applied myself in school, so I thought my intelligence was average. And even though my parents told me I was beautiful, I thought my looks were – you guessed it – average. My self-esteem was average, too. I had no idea that I was far from average. I just didn’t believe in myself. Sound familiar?
After my divorce, I began to realize that I had been my worst enemy. I focused on improving my self-worth and worked on quieting the saboteurs that wanted to keep me small. I began to thrive. But, while my essence was getting a makeover, there was another area of my life in need of improvement – my outer appearance.
My oldest daughter, who was 16 years old and a budding fashion designer at the time of my divorce, took a look at my closet and said, “Mom, you’ve got to be kidding! You’re wearing all the wrong clothes. We need to go shopping.”
I didn’t realize that my clothes were too big, the colors were all wrong, and the patterns were quite whacky. Even my bras were the wrong fit. My outside didn’t match my inside.
Shopping for new clothes was fun, and I LOVED the new clothes my daughter picked out. I found outfits that flattered my slim figure and expressed my creativity and artistic flair.
My new clothes made me feel amazing, and I began to walk into a room with my head held high. I now bring that confidence wherever I go, especially on a first date.
Your self-worth is about aligning yourself internally and externally. When you feel great in your clothes, you’ll be much more confident on that first date. And confidence makes you sexy!
How to dress for first date success
- Comfort is key: Make sure you feel great in your clothes. Don’t wear a dress that’s so tight you can’t breathe or pants that show your butt crack when you sit down. Don’t wear stilettos that make walking a challenge. Wear heels with a wedge for comfort and a dress that flatters but leaves room for dinner! Guys like the way you look in heels and a skirt or dress, but if that’s way out of your comfort zone, wear pants that say “sexy” rather than “hire me.”
- Hide the goodies: A little hint of cleavage is sexy, but revealing the “girls” too soon will make him think you’re more of a hooker than a high-class woman. Hike up your hemline an inch or two, wear a belt that cinches your waist and show off your curves, but don’t give it all away on a first date! Leave him wanting more….
- Dress for the venue: Once you know where you’ll be meeting him, dress accordingly. It’s awkward to show up in a sparkly party sweater and heels if you’re meeting him at a park. If you’re getting together for coffee, I suggest you take it up a notch from casual and wear those jeans that show off your sexy booty paired with a cute top. If you haven’t bought jeans since 1985, it’s time to hit the department stores. If you’re going out for dinner, wear a dress that flatters and makes you feel amazing. And stay away from black. He’ll remember that royal blue silk blouse that flatters your skin tone. Make a great first impression with a bold color.
- Feel your best: You want to wear an outfit that makes you feel gorgeous. If your closet hasn’t been updated in a while or your clothes are mostly black, it’s time for a shopping spree. If you have an objective good friend with a great fashion sense, take her along. Otherwise, shop at a store with a personal shopping service. Try on clothes that are out of your comfort zone. You may be pleasantly surprised at how fabulous you look. And when you look great, you feel awesome!
- Don’t try to look like anyone else. When you feel great about how you look, you’ll be more confident. You’ll come across as a happy woman, living your best life. That’s one of the top qualities that good men are searching for. So, spend less time focusing on the latest fashion trends and more time on learning what looks best on YOU.
Update your wardrobe, and make sure you have a few go-to outfits for different first date venues. My favorite first date outfit is a beautiful Calvin Klein cap-sleeved dress with a cinched waist and a double-wrapped thin brown belt. Its autumn colors make it great for year-round wear. In the summer, I wear it with sandals and a cute necklace. In the winter, I pair it with a rust colored sweater and black wedge boots.
You are beautiful, unique and fabulous. When your clothing matches your personality, you radiate. What will you wear on your next first date?
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