Felice Shapiro
I’m not a big fan of holidays that make others feel badly – and Valentine’s Day can be brutal for those who are alone and don’t have a lover/husband/or are in a bad way with a partner or family member. For many this Hallmark holiday can feel grim. If you’re not partnered up to your satisfaction, it’s an in your face reminder that you are alone or you feel lonely. So—- how can you avoid the Valentine’s Day blues?
I speak from experience about these “blues.” I have had my share of watching the world become RED with hearts, candy and flowers knowing that I would not be a participant. I know what it’s like to want a Valentine and not know if there will ever be one. Valentine’s Day was really a sucker punch for me the year after I was widowed and I cursed that Hallmark holiday for adding to my already painful loss. When I was remarried a few year’s later, I was always conscious about how my friends who were not “coupled” felt during this time – knowing that it can be a tough week leading into the big day.
The marketing of Valentine’s Day is ubiquitous and thus tough to ignore, no matter how hard you try. Sometimes the best (and only) strategy for dealing with discomfort is facing it head on.
So, if you are feeling lonely, or isolated –this may be the perfect time to reach out and invite the love in and not wait for it to come to you.
Here’s some ideas that could give you a lift and make this Valentine’s Day feel great.
Cook some love food for yourself or a neighbor. My husband is a baker – last year he made these fabulous red velvet mini-cakes which were not only delicious but the presentation felt like pure love.- Get your hair done. You can surely find a local salon to give you a loving wash and a blow out. For me – this gives me an instant lift.
- Flowers seem to magically create a celebratory mood and why wait for them to be delivered. Fill a vase with some fabulous arrangement which you have personally selected and enjoy them all week long.
Clothing: For some of us, taking off the old sweats and dressing up in a little sexy anything can lift the heart rate beyond a mild flutter. If that means buying sexy underwear – do it.- Give Give Give: Nothing better for the soul/heart than to give to someone in need. Go to the local nursing home and distribute roses to as many people as you can connect with. Maybe you can read some love poetry to a willing recipient at the home. Lighten up someone else’s day.
- Call an old friend who you have been missing or send them an e-card. Surprise them with love.
- Move your body in a way that will lift your spirits. Back bends are also known as heart openers. If you like yoga, then go to a yoga class and get that heart opened up.
- Show your kids the way. Send them a note that’s a keeper. Maybe you can tell them all the things you really love about them – hopefully they won’t be surprised.
After 50 we know what we need to make ourselves feel better — so don’t let Valentine’s Day pull you off your center. Don’t hesitate – take care of what you need. Why not? You deserve the love right now!.
Wishing you a happy happy week ahead and a sweet loving February 14th.
Felice