I have more than a handful, more even then if said hands can palm a basketball. I am a tall woman with a sturdy back and when it comes to bras, nothing is simple for me. I think that I have regular criteria: lift (somewhere between elbow and shoulder); separation (no uni-boob); something I can wear it all day; pretty. Is it too much to ask for a bralette? ‘The internet,’ I thought. ‘Surely it would reveal a solution.’
Ad: All of the Sexy support without compromising comfort…
Words like this, I’m going to click. I deeply study every site…the discovery of the solution… the drawings… the gentle showing of the manufacturing…. hopeful that if someone has gone through ALL the trouble to design a bra from the ground up THIS time it will be different. And then, the disappointing size ranges.
Ad: Bras made by women, for women to fit, feel & look great…
For thirty plus years I was a buy-two-get-one free 38D gal, until the day my bras stopped working. Fit…I needed fit. I needed properly measured by Jeannie in Nordstrom Lingerie, I terrifyingly went up a band size and a cup size, then sweated out trying on all hundred bras in my size. Gathering the top three for a trial run, I gasped at checkout (Kids: guess we’ll eat next week). I would be back.
Ad: Best Bras for Mature Women….
My boobs matured. Perimenopause wrought breasts so tender that I gave up anything with a seam or lace, necessitating another trip to see Jeannie. Bras in my size numbered six, I bought them all, trying not to hyperventilate. Menopause upped me yet another cup size with the added fun of a new breast eco-system, keeping me in perpetual under-boob sweat. Now I had to worry about fungus (this is an actual thing). I switched to Sports bras.
I stumbled on my workhorse bra from Wacoal (Wacoal Underwire Sports Bra | Nordstrom). Upsides: color options, adjustable straps that can be made into a racerback, often on sale. Downsides: it is decidedly un-glamorous; wears out quickly. I buy three new bras quarterly, then mark them with a sharpie to know what stage they are in. While wearing one now, I’m still searching; confident that out there is something better…
Ad: Beautiful Style, Effortless Solutions, Designed by Women…
Ever hopeful, I click on everything, obsessed with my personal Bra porn. If it came in my size I bought it, tried it, hated it. Then returned it…Title Nine, Knix, Third Love, Spanx, more, all Brand that did not work. I learned sizing was subjective, and sometimes returns too, thanks to the site credit for something I will never use.
Back to the Stores
Soma Intimates, my boob shape and your designs are not destined to meet. Lane Bryant, whoa… don’t need these babies pushed up under my chin! Jeannie at Nordstrom: thanks for letting me know that you only carry my size online. I’ll miss you.
European styles are achingly lovely. Priced at Kids: guess we’ll eat next week levels; honest in cup size; but band size, not so much. No matter what size the tag says the band is a thirty-four. Elomi, Chantelle, Natori, Freya, all busts for my bust. Harper Wilde was a nice try, UGH: uni-boob. My dear, dependable Wacoal varies from style to style.
Ad words: Designed by a 70-Year-old…
This latest ad gave me hope. The bras were delightfully lacy if a bit industrial, they promised to fit most plus hooked in front…. unless you were my size. Out of luck again.
Mother Nature’s last laugh was the flumping, giving me round, heavy breasts located near my waist. Back to the searching I go, the perfect bra is out there, somewhere.