Fashion has always been a big part of my life. It’s my hobby. I love clothes and putting different shapes and styles together to create a look that expresses a mood or personality. Getting dressed every day is a bit of an adventure for me. Tragic, I know, but everybody has their weakness! What I find challenging as I get (cough, cough) older is putting together outfits that are a bit funky and edgy, yet age appropriate and won’t make my teenage daughters chastise me before running away to hide in shame.
I saw this outfit on Shopbob recently and instantly fell in love. I had all the pieces in my closet, save for the sheer white shirt (which happens to be sleeveless.) A hundred dollars solved that problem, and a few days later I was mixing and matching to my heart’s content.
Here’s the problem. I love this outfit. I also love the few other outfits that I created around said sheer shirt. But I haven’t worked up the nerve to leave the house yet. I’m no stranger to sheer or lace or tulle or any other diaphanous fabric, but there is something about this particular shirt that is holding me hostage. I feel like I’m too old to pull this off. I feel like everyone is going to judge me for trying to be…what?…too young?…too sheer?…too queer? I’m no stranger to fundamentally not caring what other people think or say about me, so what is it about this damn shirt?
I have been wearing it proudly around the house, and peeking saucily from the confines of a dark cashmere sweater when I venture out of doors, but so far I haven’t have the courage to own the look. And I’m not sure why. I’ve considered putting a camisole underneath, but it felt like a cop out. I mean if you’re going to wear sheer, you should rock it, right? But after a certain age, sheer just isn’t going to make it past the fashion police. Which I guess begs the question:
At what point in our adult lives do we lose our fashion edge? Or is it losing our edge in general?
If I don’t have the courage to express myself with my wardrobe choices, does that mean that I am beginning to lose the confidence to express myself in other areas of my life? Will I find myself staying silent when someone drops an inappropriate bomb at a dinner party, or will I refrain from writing what I really feel because I’m afraid of offending my audience?
What I think may be the case as we age is an inverse relationship between what we put on our bodies and what comes out of our mouths. While we may choose to mask the saggy belly and droopy thighs by avoiding sheer and stocking up on Spanx, we begin to revel more of our personalities and true selves with our words and actions. While our clothing may become more opaque, our sentiments become less so, which depending on the situation can be either a good or a bad thing!
When the weather gets a bit warmer I may just wear the shirt as pictured. It will give me inspiration to go to the gym all winter, and the possibility of saying what is on my mind while rocking a slightly scandalous and outrageous outfit is too tempting…!