Peg Doyle
I’ve noticed a pattern in women who want to lose weight. You suffer. If you’re on a fad diet, you don’t eat enough food, or you don’t eat food that you like. You weigh yourself daily. You’re sure this latest diet (keto, Whole30, paleo, WW) is the answer. It might be for a while, but then old habits re-emerge. Then you feel bad about yourself. Embarrassed even, that you weren’t successful and down a size or two.
I have a suggestion. Look at yourself. Really look at yourself. When was the last time you bought yourself clothes that make you feel fabulous? How long have you been hiding behind stretch pants, shawls, scarves, and sweats, telling yourself you’ll get some nice clothes once you lose weight. I say Look Fabulous Now! No matter your weight, you have a right to dress yourself in beautiful things that flatter you. Find something you love and buy it in the size you need right now. Have it tailored if you need to. You will stand more proudly and be motivated to learn how to really eat healthy instead of putting all your energy into a fad diet that’s destined to fail 85% of the time.
A very wise client of mine brought this issue to light many years ago. In her 50’s, she’d had a long history of dieting. In our first session together, I made some breakfast suggestions, including whole oats with dried cranberries and walnuts. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said “I’m allowed to have cranberries?” ‘Allowed?’ I said. ‘I will never tell you what you are ‘allowed’ to have. You are a grown up. I will recommend and teach you all you need to know about eating healthy, how to avoid cravings, etc., but I will never tell you what you are ‘allowed’ to eat’.
A few sessions later she came in with a new outfit and a sassy new haircut. I commented on how great she looked. She replied “I’m learning that I don’t have to wait to be perfect ever again, that I’m fine just as I am, and I deserve to look my best NOW, not later. I’m starting to get it that the weight I gained happened because I wasn’t taking the time to take care of myself.”
Weight gain does not happen in a vacuum. It happens gradually, usually over many years, for many reasons: not paying attention to oneself, too much restaurant eating; emotional eating; loneliness; skipping meals are but a few of the reasons.
A diet will push you to lose weight rapidly, making it all sound exciting and easy. As a wellness expert, I say weight is but one symptom of a life out of balance, a life that deserves love, attention and caring. That’s what will bring any woman success, self-acceptance and confidence.
Give it a try. Go and really look at yourself. Ask yourself what you need, and let your intuition guide you to the answer. It’s a path to authentic health and true healing.
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