It started when I was 41. I was a psychotherapist in private practice, counseling people about how to have happy, vibrant relationships. But, sadly, I was coming home to a lonely apartment.
I had discovered techniques that allowed me to manifest things I’d always wanted, but couldn’t seem to manifest a beloved to share my life with. Although I’d never been married, I set a bold intention to be engaged by my next birthday!
I developed a step-by-step process, Calling in “The One.” I used it to synchronistically manifest a wonderful man with whom I had a beautiful relationship that lasted over a decade. We became engaged by my 42nd birthday, married the following year, and when I was 43, our daughter was born.
Friends and clients asked how I’d done it, so I taught them the Process. That inspired me to write a book, which became a bestseller—and still I kept learning. Through years of working with thousands of people, I learned many techniques for being successful in attracting and keeping love. And I saw three keys for finding new love over 50.
The first is completing your past.
Chances are, we carry some baggage from childhood around with us, plus some new bags: exes who hurt our hearts, tense custody arrangements…there’s a long list possible. There may be all sorts of gnarly knots to untangle, to have a clean slate on which to build new love.
But when you’re incomplete with the past, you may find yourself (understandably) reluctant to open your heart again, or covertly punishing anyone who gets close. When you complete your past, you take full responsibility for yourself in a way that liberates you to love again.
The second key to finding love over 50 is the need to prepare ourselves more than before.
In a midlife relationship, you are coming into a very established and full life.
You need to be willing to support your partner’s commitments while still honoring your own. For example, if you have a 14-year-old, you need someone who can love that child and tolerate you putting her needs first. It’s about including everything and everyone in your love.
The third key to finding love after 50 is to find a partner who shares your sense of meaning and purpose.
In midlife, many of us start caring about the legacy we are leaving future generations and start aligning ourselves with our true values.
Our expectations become more “real” as we discover how to give up imposing fantasies of perfect princes and princesses, while insisting upon mutuality and respect.
We start softening. We start letting the wrinkles come. We are less afraid of making a mistake, because we understand mistakes are how we learn. From this depth, we can recognize a true soulmate. After 50, we have an even more fertile field for true love than the one we played upon in youth.
So, if you are over 50 and single, I encourage you to put less attention on your love handles and more attention on your loving heart, and recognize that in a life well-lived, the human capacity to love and be loved only grows deeper with time.
To learn more about my Calling in “The One” Process for yourself, join me for a free call.