Do you really need sex in your life to be happy? Or can you finally accept, along with all of your other middle-aged female friends, that sex is an “accessory” – something that’s nice and fun, but not really necessary?
No way! Sex is not only more than an “accessory,” but an “awakened” sex drive is a key component of your life as a woman.
Your sexuality (sexual energy) is intimately connected to your life force energy. When your sexual energy is “sleeping,” there’s a powerful part of you that’s sleeping too.
Sex and sensual pleasure – including orgasm – not only “wakes up’ your body, but it helps balance your hormones, calm your mind, facilitate creativity, and helps heal your body as well.
Pleasure induces the relaxation response, which, in turn, lowers your cortisol (stress!) hormones. And orgasms, specifically, not only help with stress, but also help increase estrogen levels (which is so helpful at this phase of life) AND increase oxytocin (our happy, bonding hormone!)
Unfortunately for many women, there are many myths and mistakes about orgasm & sex that not only negatively impact your sexuality and ability to experience sexual pleasure, but also impact your health and hormones.
We’re here to set the record straight so you can use this powerful resource for your own vitality.
Myth #1: You must climax in order to get the benefits
Nope! The 8-second “release” isn’t everything! In fact, an orgasm in both women (and men!) is broader than the simple culmination of those repetitive contractions that most of us think are “orgasm.” All the pleasure leading up to those contractions (or even without those contractions) counts! And yes, while oxytocin levels are maximally released one minute after clitoral contractions, we can increase oxytocin by physical stimulation of the vagina, cervix, clitoris and breasts). So stimulate away and enjoy each sensation!
Myth #2: I need to be in a relationship to address my libido issues and improve my sex drive.
No relationship necessary to wake up sexual energy! YOU are responsible for your sexuality, whether you are in a relationship or not. No one else can “give” you the experience of “turn on,” if you aren’t able to turn yourself on! As women, we must learn to be in charge of our own sexuality and there is no better time to step into this than peri menopause and menopause.
YOU are responsible for getting in touch with your sexuality, for knowing how your body works, and for being able to receive pleasure. Don’t wait for a magic penis!
SO now that you know how important your sex drive is, how can you activate this powerful life-force energy, when your libido may be waning during this phase of your life? Here are a few tips, no matter how dry or down you feel:
1) Start slowly! Remember, any kind of pleasure is healing, and very often we have to re-sensitize our body to sensual pleasure, including smells, tastes, and gentle touch.
2) When you’re comfortable, begin touching your genitals. Move beyond the drive to have an orgasm, and simply touch in order to reconnect to your body and notice what feels good. You’ll be surprised that with a little attention, your juices will start flowing again.
3) Talk to other women and get support! You are not alone. Sharing your feelings, and learning from other women, is key for helping to reactivate this precious aspect of your life.
Whatever you do, please resist the temptation toward putting your sex drive to bed! Your awakened sensuality and sexuality will help keep you feeling energized, vibrant and feeling your very best at every age.
For more information, please be sure to join us for our FREE call: Have You Got WTF Syndrome?
Karen Schachter LICSW & Nina Manolson MA are Psychology of Eating and Health Coaches. They are passionate about helping women live full, vibrant lives, and believe that peri menopause and menopause are a doorway to this vitality. They bring humor, wisdom and deep compassion to their work.