empty-nestDear Kids,

Don’t bother coming home without giving us plenty of notice. You may get a bit of a shock if you do. Please don’t be offended by this letter – it’s just that I wanted to bring you up to date on how life has shifted since you both went off to the West coast.

The house is working out quite well for us. I was worried it would feel empty and sad but frankly as creepy as this may sound to you – it’s become our “love nest” our “pad” our “crib.”

I am sure you will be happy to know that this is not a guilt letter at all – I’m realistic and apologize if it took awhile to adjust to your moves. But, now I’m clear that you will visit us for a meal or an overnight which would be lovely. But please remember – just give us a heads up.

So here’s what’s shifted a bit. The truth is — your places on the couch have been usurped. In fact it’s kind of funny – as Bill and I claimed them as our “spots” — we can see that the supple leather has re-contoured itself to our butts – no trace of your imprint.

We have become big TV bingers – who knew? We just get into a flow and never know when and for how long we will be watching. It’s nice that we only have to answer to each other.

Oh and the controller! We are really thrilled not to have to turn over the controller to anyone. What’s hilarious is I’ve finally learned how it works and I’ve put myself in charge of it except for sports stuff. I am so glad they invented the Smart TV because I think the other TV was so stupid and that’s why I never was able to figure it out. (I appreciate your trying to explain it all those years).

We never really had “our shows” but now we do. We like to watch stuff that would not be appropriate to watch with you guys, you know – shows that are fun to watch as a “couple.”  Masters of Sex was this weekend’s date activity. This particular binge fest put us on the couch for 2 days and it was delirious– (TMI)?

I’m obsessed with Lizzy Caplan – I read all about her childhood. Feel like she could have grown up in our home – nice Jewish girl with all the right values. Well, she plays Virginia Johnson – the sex therapist and the other half of the Masters and Johnson sexual revolution team.   She is our new favorite actress – Bill and I are both in love with her.

Oh and the other amazing improvement is I’ve really gotten into some experimental cooking. Mealtime has become super creative and fun. We love to figure out what’s for dinner that day and shop locally for our ingredients. No more 5-bag grocery big haul expeditions. The fridge is virtually empty otherwise, which we find comforting – quantity shopping is out. Costco is in the past. We are so damn efficient now. We plan it – we buy it – we cook it – we “dine” on it – Done!

Frankly, we feel quite French about the whole meal time thing.

Bill and I like the same kind of food. He’s off red meat mostly so no more of that yucky meat smell in the house. We agree easily on the same menus. Last night I cooked up an amazing dinner that took 30 minutes to put together, and 10 minutes to clean up.

Cooking has become way more fun because Bill joins me in the kitchen and we cook together. I do relish the calm with no TV NOISE overpowering our culinary zen. We love to put on some soft music, chop and chat.

Last night Bill was snoring a bit so I moved down the hall into your room to sleep. It’s so fabulous! I had no idea how great your mattress is. And, now that I’ve cleared out all your clothes from the closet and decluttered your stuff off the shelves – it almost feels like I’m at a hotel – it’s lovely.

I know I mentioned this already – but please make sure to let me know when you are coming home with good notice in case I put it on Airbnb. I think it would fetch some good money.

I thought you would feel relieved to read this letter. I know you’ve been worried that I’ve had a hard time with your moves with a 3 hour time difference. But truly – I’m not only fine – I’m flourishing.

Anyway – love you boys as much as ever and can’t wait to come visit you in your apartments next month. It should be great. I’m thrilled you got the second bedroom for us to stay in.

Don’t’ worry – we understand how to be respectful of your “privacy” and “space” in your homes. I think we’ve officially and successfully all entered our next phases and it’s all good.

Love you,



Dear Kids: This Is Why We’re So Happy In Our Empty Nest was last modified: by

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