Christie is the gift that keeps on giving.
Grab some popcorn and settle in, because this is going to be quite a ride – ironically, thanks to Christie, traffic is flowing nicely along the media’s airwaves and at our dinner tables.
January can be dreary but not with Christie in the news. Who doesn’t love some good, snarky political hubbub? We’re sick of watching failed forecasts on The Weather Channel. I want to thank Christie for cutting through these dreary Northeast blues and bringing us some steaming hot material.
Also, Saturday night dinner table topics can often use a lift. Frankly, my friends are a bit sick of talking about the kids. We’re happy to roll out the red carpet for Governor Christie stories.
No question, politico’s excessive behavior generates eyeballing and that’s good for the media. Did anyone see The Wolf of Wall Street? – Talk about excess! These real-life characters definitely capture our imagination with their out of the box shenanigans.
It’s not much of a leap to compare the “Wolf” with Christie. Christie is a personable, charismatic, local hero and loyal leader much like the Wolf of Wall Street. Like the Wolf, he appears to have hired his high school buddies to be his closest support team. And guess what – the good news is they’re loyal. The bad news is, sometimes the line between loyalty and good judgment can become blurred. And as a result, like the Wolf, Christie is in a heap of trouble.
We newshound voyeurs are having some fun watching and waiting on the sidelines to see how our protagonist wangles his way out of this pickle.
In the meantime, so are our late-night TV hosts, rock stars and our Twittersphere buddies.
In case you missed out on some of the fun — here’s some great stuff that’s emerged in the short week since we first learned of “Bridgegate”:
1. Jimmy Fallon (January 14th):
Rock on Bruuuuuuce. Did you catch Late Night With Jimmy Fallon last Tuesday? Springsteen and Fallon turned “Born to Run” into the funniest dis of Christie’s bridge escapade and called him to the mat to the tune of 3.3 million hits on Youtube as of Jan 19th.
2. Jay Leno (Jan 10th):
“He doesn’t know if he’s running for president in 2016. He’ll cross that bridge when he gets to it.”
“He was too busy clogging his own arteries at the time so he was too busy to be responsible for Bridgegate.” (HAH! – LOVE THAT ONE!)
3. Andy Borowitz (Jan 9th):
Clever Andy Borowitz spins daily news into gut-splitting fun on The Borowitz Report. Here’s his home run from last week. The Headline reads: “Christie Urges Media To Focus on Weight.”
…New Jersey Governor Chris Christie lashed out at the media today, saying that it had “failed to focus on the single most important issue regarding me, which is my weight.”
And on Borowitz’s Facebook page:
“TRENTON – All lanes of traffic on the George Washington Bridge were blocked this afternoon by New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie’s ego, traffic reports said.” https://www.facebook.com/andyborowitz
4. Here are two of my favorite tweets from Christie’s ridiculously long press conference (two hours long!)
a) Molly Ball (@mollyesque): “As a reporter, I love Chris Christie. Unlike every other politician, he keeps saying different things the longer he talks.”
b) Ann Coulter (@anncoulter): “This is the longest press conference since Mark Sanford announced he was in love!”
So have fun and follow the bouncing ball as you sing along to Fallon and Springsteen’s genius lyrics to the tune of “Born to Run”:
In the day we sweat it out on the streets, stuck in traffic on the GWB
They shut down the tollbooths of glory ’cause we didn’t endorse Christie.
Sprung from cages on Highway 9, we got three lanes closed, so Jersey get your ass in line
Whoa, maybe this Bridgegate was just payback, it’s a bitchslap to the state democrats,
We gotta get out but we can’t. We’re stuck in Gov. Chris Christie’s Fort Lee, N.J. traffic jam.
Governor, let me in, I wanna be your friend, there’ll be no partisan divisions
Let me wrap my legs ’round your mighty rims and relieve your stressful condition
You’ve got Wall Street masters stuck cheek-to-cheek with blue collar truckers, and man, I really gotta take a leak
But I can’t. I’m stuck in Gov. Chris Christie’s Fort Lee, N.J. traffic jam
Highways jammed with pissed off drivers with no place left to go
And the press conference went on and on, it was longer than one of my own damn shows
Someday, governor, I don’t know when, this will all end, but till then you’re killing the working man
who’s stuck in the Gov. Chris Christie Fort Lee, N.J. traffic jam
Whoa, oh oh oh
I gotta take a leak
Whoa, oh oh oh
I really gotta take a leak
Whoa, oh oh oh
Down in Jerseyland