Relationships

Join the Relationship conversation! BA50s are dealing with all kinds of relationships: we are married after 50, divorced after 50, puzzling over sexless marriage or rekindling our love lives at midlife; sandwiched in between our aging parents and our adult kids, becoming grandparents and so much more. Not to mention how we are relating to ourselves in this unique stage of life.

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3 Steps to Beat Divorce Loneliness When You’re on Facebook

When you start feeling lonely and left out, especially after divorce, there are three simple things you can do to get your mindset back on track that will pull you out of that Facebook divorce loneliness pit. 1. Mute or unfollow the people whose posts make you feel like shit. It’s as simple as that. If there are a handful of women on your timeline that constantly post those annoying posts that are like “I’m joining the ‘I love my husband’ challenge”...
A sad woman with mask on her face stands near closed Museum. Ban on walking, visiting public places

The Hardest Story To Tell

I like to think of myself as a writer and storyteller, someone who shares the good and bad and complicated of my life freely. I have no qualms opening up about sex, money, politics yet this story has sat with me for two years. I have a fear that I will be seen as a victim, someone who accepts violence and abuse, not the educated, self aware feminist I am. This story doesn’t happen to people like me. This is my difficult story:...

The Curious Life Choices of an Introverted Control Freak

I joke that I like to “plan my spontaneity,” but most who know me well, know I am not really joking. Over the years, friends and colleagues have encouraged me to drop my guard, to be less “bossy” and to compromise more. Let someone else plan something for a change, they’d say. What they didn’t understand is that my desire to control my universe is deep-rooted. It started with a revelation when I was about eight years old....
Felice and Bill

Oh, That’s What Love Feels Like!

When I gave this writing prompt to my BA50 Blogging groups, it got me thinking as well about the fireworks of romance, the drama of those first moments of passion, the heat of love. And then I shifted gears into the simple and sweet routines that deep love offers. The built-in years of knowing someone so well, when love is reflected in the daily dance of living in partnership. ...
Woman writing

Millennials Embrace Prenups—but Through a Very Different Lens Than in the Past

Millennials are often known to buck convention. That seems to be true even when it comes to prenuptial agreements. In the past, prenups were most common among young adults from wealthy families or couples entering second or third marriages. Today, younger adults of all income levels are drafting them, not only to protect assets accumulated before and during marriage but to address societal realities that weren’t necessarily present or common years ago, such as......
Skiing and listening to music

Throwback Music That Fills The Soul : What’s On Your Spotify Playlist?

My Harman Kardon stereo was my bed mate in high school. America's Horse with No Name, The Doors Rider's On The Storm, and Steve Miller's Joker and Toker and Midnight Smoker tucked me into my dreams each night. I can't remember it all but Bruce Springsteen carried me through my first romance and although I gave up the boyfriend, I never gave up Bruce....
Old Photo of Pam and Joy

Friends to the Bitter End

The audience is riled up, rocking its way towards midnight. I am standing on the stage with a microphone in my hand. The band plays behind me. I shout out over the noise, eager to keep going. “I don’t look sick, do I?” I ask, shaking my head and nodding to the crowd. “No, no, no,” they shout back. Turning to my keyboard player, signaling for her to begin the intro, “One, two, three,” I count, as my fingers strum guitar strings. I have been performing my entire adult life. Now, standing in the club, aptly titled The Bitter End, I have bargained my way out of the hospital to perform this gig....
Books on a table on a ship

My Solo Fling with a Mediterranean Playboy

It was a blustery August day in Marseille. The view overlooking the Mediterranean was dramatic. The waves crashed against the rocks, mere feet below my table. I chose Restaurant Peron because it was extensively featured in famed author Peter Mayle’s Caper series. The four books ran the gamut from vintage wine theft and unsolvable diamond heists to the influx of Russians along the French Riviera, and a real estate deal gone bad....

The Holidays and The Beast within Me

Since our separation, my soon-to-be ex-husband of thirty years and I have spent the holidays together with our young adult children. I rationalized that handling a little discomfort for a couple of days of celebrating together was far better than the heartache of feeling left out. Normally, it’s been fine for a day or two with all the extended family around, but this Christmas, due to Covid, there would be no big gatherings, just the five of us—me, my ex, my daughter, my son and his wife. And this year, it wasn’t just two days, unexpectedly it turned into ten....
Red Roses

The Intimacy of Sex, Marriage and Death Preparation

At the conclusion of the first night of our beautifully sensual life together, the man who became my second husband, breathlessly rolled over onto his side of the bed and exclaimed, “If I have a heart attack, don’t call the EMTs until I am cold and blue!” I could hear his smile in the dark and I knew exactly what he meant....

Why My Marriage Works Even Though….

I have a confession to make. Perhaps a couple. First, like Bernadette, in Where’d You Go Bernadette?, I have dreamed about disappearing on my family. This fantasy has occurred more frequently in the past nine months, as there have been long stretches where everyone is inhabiting our home and the space that was mostly mine is gone; taken over by home offices and school workspaces....

Everything I Ever Needed to Know About Sex and Midlife Came from a Pilates Studio

The many hours spent in a woman only hothouse of female style exercise has released endorphinal rushes of intimate stories told in whispers that lead to roars of laughter.  We’ve become experts at distracting each other from the hard work of stabilizing our bodies on a moving platform by talking female. ...

My Electric Boyfriend

I knew things were about to change when I went shopping for CBD cream and came home with a vibrator. This was before hemp became legal in Massachusetts and you had to buy CBD at questionable places, like the “adult shop'' about five miles north of Boston. Since my sex life had been evicerated by my husband’s illness, medication and sheer exhaustion, buying a vibrator suddenly seemed like the easiest way to save the one thing I might be able to control in my life....