Relationships

Join the Relationship conversation! BA50s are dealing with all kinds of relationships: we are married after 50, divorced after 50, puzzling over sexless marriage or rekindling our love lives at midlife; sandwiched in between our aging parents and our adult kids, becoming grandparents and so much more. Not to mention how we are relating to ourselves in this unique stage of life.

Articles BA50s Loves

Empty Nested & Single: Uplifting Strategies When Life Gets Too Complicated

Marcia Lansing
It’s not a linear process, my new normal. It still makes me cry when I see families picnicking in the nearby park because I am missing all the family time that seemed so idyllic, so long ago. I realize that I still grieve the loss of my marriage, my children and my former life. Then I get a text from the man I’ve been dating, “Just thinking about you and wanted to say hi ;) “ and my heart skips a beat. I smile and feel happy. People see me smiling and smile back....
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Follow your heart mug

How to Follow Your Heart After Divorce

Martha Bodyfelt
When you try to do something bold and fearless and courageous, that annoying voice may say, “You shouldn’t follow your heart. The last time you followed your heart and got married, your marriage failed and you got divorced.” That self-doubt can keep you from following your heart. It can stop you from harnessing your intuition. Until now. That self-doubt has no place in your post-divorce life. The next time your self-doubt creeps in, trying to throw a wrench in your plans to be fearless, I want you to embrace the following....
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Meeting in Person

BA50 Bloggers: Meeting in Person Is the Best

BA50 Talkers
The very first BA50 Blogger Meet-up in Person. "A lunch invitation turned into an overnight plan. Each of us was going to be driving at least two hours. Why not make a mini-vacation of it? Ellen did the hotel Googling and we made reservations for an overnight, Thursday into Friday, at the Hotel Northampton. Our own rooms. At 60+ we’re big girls and don’t need to share a room anymore. A flurry of texts were exchanged. What time are you getting there? What are you packing? Drinks first, then dinner? We were as giddy as high school friends going away on their first vacation without parents. Only… have I mentioned we had never met each other in person before?"...
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Smiling grandparents with grandkids in the kitchen, close up

The Unspoken Wedge Between Parents and Grandparents

BA50 Talkers
This post originally appeared on The Atlantic and we highly recommend reading this if you are a grandparent! Each generation has its own norms for parenting. Arguing over the differences can be an emotional minefield. One of the sweetest parts of being a grandparent is being invited by your own adult children to spend time with your grandkids. But the invitation comes with a few conditions, and in even the most loving families, grandparents ignore these rules on a regular basis. For many reasons, they can’t help overstepping the boundaries, whether because of a prickliness at their own kids telling them what to do, a sincere belief that they know more about raising children than their kids do, or, more poignantly, a resistance to the harsh reality that they’ve aged out of the cherished role of family decision maker....
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Butterfly on spring flowers

Why is Healing After Divorce so Hard?

Martha Bodyfelt
If your divorce is finished, you might be kicking yourself. I know I was. Back in 2011, my year-long divorce was finalized, but I wasn’t jumping up and down and doing cartwheels. I felt stuck. But the fact that you’re having those feelings means you’re actually growing. Because you’re now looking back on the painful stuff, seeing what lessons you can learn from it. So you can heal. So you can move on....
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Kiss and lipstick

When a Kiss is Easier than Saying ‘No Thank You.’

Ginny Poleman
When I left the coffee shop with Jonathan, I had reached that moment on the date when I had to make a decision: how would I graciously end this? We had matched on Bumble. We’d both attended Cornell and knew some of the same people. Before we met, we had a hilarious phone conversation. I had looked forward to the date, but when we met, he wasn’t exactly what I expected. He was overwhelmingly big in personality…and underwhelming in stature....
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Felice Shapiro

I Glanced At My Reflection and Paused…Am I Ready For This?

felice
My suitcases lay empty and open, waiting for content. I was reluctant. After 3 months of hunkering down in the mountains of Park City, our rental was up. I had left myself 3 days to pack up. But each day I found a reason to bypass the empty suitcases and take another walk, read my book, and write a bit more. Anything but fill that nylon zippered void.......
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After Mom Died: Evolving Sisterly Love

Kristina Damon
After my mother's death, my two sisters and I, who were close in age but in no other way, were obliged to work together to settle her affairs, deal with lawyers and so forth.... During this time, which stretched into two years, we had to work together and tolerate each other’s unique temperaments, priorities and schedules, which were often in conflict. It was stressful and trying. During this time, which stretched into two years, we had to work together and tolerate each other’s unique temperaments,...
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