Relationships

Join the Relationship conversation! BA50s are dealing with all kinds of relationships: we are married after 50, divorced after 50, puzzling over sexless marriage or rekindling our love lives at midlife; sandwiched in between our aging parents and our adult kids, becoming grandparents and so much more. Not to mention how we are relating to ourselves in this unique stage of life.

Ginny Poleman

Post Divorce: Feeling like 18 Again

Last Saturday with no plans, I reserved a timed entry for one person to the Whitney Museum of Art and headed downtown. I plugged my earbuds in listening to the museum’s audio guide, and took my time revisiting my favorites and appreciating some new works of art. No one interrupted, distracted, or expected anything of me. My skin tingled with inspiration, as my heart rate slowed. My feet floated through the galleries, while my spirit was grounded....
Illustration

Control Top Rescue

How the Hell did I get into this thing anyway? I managed to get the straps down and push the cups to my waist. Trying to push the thing down over my hips was harder, my thumbs got stuck in the underpants. Standing there, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, thumbs in my crotch. I needed one hand to pull out the other. I jerked my right hand out really hard and my arm ricocheted into the side of the dressing room partition. If my arm didn’t hurt so bad I might think this was funny. Thank God I was the only one in the dressing room. Ok what are my options?...
we need an unlike button

3 Steps to Beat Divorce Loneliness When You’re on Facebook

When you start feeling lonely and left out, especially after divorce, there are three simple things you can do to get your mindset back on track that will pull you out of that Facebook divorce loneliness pit. 1. Mute or unfollow the people whose posts make you feel like shit. It’s as simple as that. If there are a handful of women on your timeline that constantly post those annoying posts that are like “I’m joining the ‘I love my husband’ challenge”...
A sad woman with mask on her face stands near closed Museum. Ban on walking, visiting public places

The Hardest Story To Tell

I like to think of myself as a writer and storyteller, someone who shares the good and bad and complicated of my life freely. I have no qualms opening up about sex, money, politics yet this story has sat with me for two years. I have a fear that I will be seen as a victim, someone who accepts violence and abuse, not the educated, self aware feminist I am. This story doesn’t happen to people like me. This is my difficult story:...

The Curious Life Choices of an Introverted Control Freak

I joke that I like to “plan my spontaneity,” but most who know me well, know I am not really joking. Over the years, friends and colleagues have encouraged me to drop my guard, to be less “bossy” and to compromise more. Let someone else plan something for a change, they’d say. What they didn’t understand is that my desire to control my universe is deep-rooted. It started with a revelation when I was about eight years old....
Felice and Bill

Oh, That’s What Love Feels Like!

When I gave this writing prompt to my BA50 Blogging groups, it got me thinking as well about the fireworks of romance, the drama of those first moments of passion, the heat of love. And then I shifted gears into the simple and sweet routines that deep love offers. The built-in years of knowing someone so well, when love is reflected in the daily dance of living in partnership. ...
Woman writing

Millennials Embrace Prenups—but Through a Very Different Lens Than in the Past

Millennials are often known to buck convention. That seems to be true even when it comes to prenuptial agreements. In the past, prenups were most common among young adults from wealthy families or couples entering second or third marriages. Today, younger adults of all income levels are drafting them, not only to protect assets accumulated before and during marriage but to address societal realities that weren’t necessarily present or common years ago, such as......
Skiing and listening to music

Throwback Music That Fills The Soul : What’s On Your Spotify Playlist?

My Harman Kardon stereo was my bed mate in high school. America's Horse with No Name, The Doors Rider's On The Storm, and Steve Miller's Joker and Toker and Midnight Smoker tucked me into my dreams each night. I can't remember it all but Bruce Springsteen carried me through my first romance and although I gave up the boyfriend, I never gave up Bruce....
Old Photo of Pam and Joy

Friends to the Bitter End

The audience is riled up, rocking its way towards midnight. I am standing on the stage with a microphone in my hand. The band plays behind me. I shout out over the noise, eager to keep going. “I don’t look sick, do I?” I ask, shaking my head and nodding to the crowd. “No, no, no,” they shout back. Turning to my keyboard player, signaling for her to begin the intro, “One, two, three,” I count, as my fingers strum guitar strings. I have been performing my entire adult life. Now, standing in the club, aptly titled The Bitter End, I have bargained my way out of the hospital to perform this gig....
Books on a table on a ship

My Solo Fling with a Mediterranean Playboy

It was a blustery August day in Marseille. The view overlooking the Mediterranean was dramatic. The waves crashed against the rocks, mere feet below my table. I chose Restaurant Peron because it was extensively featured in famed author Peter Mayle’s Caper series. The four books ran the gamut from vintage wine theft and unsolvable diamond heists to the influx of Russians along the French Riviera, and a real estate deal gone bad....

The Holidays and The Beast within Me

Since our separation, my soon-to-be ex-husband of thirty years and I have spent the holidays together with our young adult children. I rationalized that handling a little discomfort for a couple of days of celebrating together was far better than the heartache of feeling left out. Normally, it’s been fine for a day or two with all the extended family around, but this Christmas, due to Covid, there would be no big gatherings, just the five of us—me, my ex, my daughter, my son and his wife. And this year, it wasn’t just two days, unexpectedly it turned into ten....