Divorce

Divorce at midlife is complicated. Whether it comes as a relief or as a devastation, divorce can be the most difficult experience or the most freeing. It’s different for everyone, but one thing is for sure… you are not alone when it comes to divorce. Find insight, tips on how to cope, courage, compassion and understanding with Better After 50’s Divorce section.

Are You Married? Stop Saying These Things to Me about Dating

Ginny Poleman
There’s a scene in the Sex in the City reboot, And Just Like That, where Carrie and her new, career-driven, 50+, single friend, Seema talk about dating. Carrie says, “I think it’s great that you’re still putting yourself out there.” Ugh. Seema points out the insensitivity by saying, “you found the love of your life and had him for many years. And in my eyes, that is something worth still putting myself out there.” Like Seema, since my divorce, well-meaning but oblivious married friends and family say things that make me want to say, “f##k off.”...
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I Want a Dating Refund From Match.com

Julie Newburg
“I haven’t met too many women who I want to see again. But you…” he  wiggled his stubby little forefinger across the white cafe table..”you are special.” It could have been a Crossing Delancey moment, except he was not the dashing Pickle Man and I was no Amy Irving.  While I do dream about her curls and that cowboy hat, he was my exceedingly schleppy Match.com date and I was me. “You are a nice guy but I’m not sure there is a fit here for us.“ I said with unusual bravado. I was really trying to save time....
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Abundance

How To Let Go of Your Scarcity Mindset After Divorce!

Martha Bodyfelt
I’m running out of time.” “It’s too late for me.” When I hear this, it’s heart-breaking. Divorced women think that because they are over 50, it means that they’re on a slow decline to the nursing home. It couldn’t be further from the truth. Running out of time is a code word for “I don’t have clarity on what I want.” Because once you get crystal-clear on exactly what you want---whether it’s to quit your spiritually draining job, or finally travel to Ireland, or actually finally accept your incredible beautiful body---you can break those down into steps and dates to make that goal happen. You have plenty of time to make your dreams happen....
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Do We Divorce Better With Age?

Judith Vandenberg
The 90s brought on a whole new trend in divorce “the grey divorce”. Couples 50 and over who had shared a long-married life were now parting ways. They were confronted with empty nests and retirement and did not want to enter the last chapter of their life in an unhappy union. Since then, the divorce rate for those age 50 and above has doubled and it has tripled for those age 65 or older. We now live in a time where divorce is both common and socially acceptable but “Do we divorce better with age?”...
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Bras

Boobs and The Single Lady

Julie Newburg
I have been the recipient of very practical advice since I’ve begun dating, on topics ranging from sexually-transmitted diseases over the age of 60 to how to weed out “catfishers” on Bumble. However, the most humbling advice was from a writing friend, who received it from one of her friends, likely passed down from other well-meaning single women. “Refrain from “being on top” when you have sex. Your boobs will take on a life of their own.” I have never really liked my boobs and this is just one more reason. If sex after 60 weren’t awkward enough, with all the aging body parts, I now needed to worry about smothering a man with my breasts....
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Beautiful woman contemplating a beautiful road surrounded by nature

Can I Have a Do Over?

Marcia Lansing
“Georgia, I swear I’ve never seen such a smile.” I hadn't heard Boz Scaggs in years and suddenly all I could see was my younger self, with a whole future of unlimited possibilities available to her. It was a moment in time when anything and anyone was possible.  However,  I think I chose the wrong guy, settled into a mediocre marriage and was now 60 and alone for the first time since my late twenties. Damn you Boz Scaggs, I want a do over!...
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Follow your heart mug

How to Follow Your Heart After Divorce

Martha Bodyfelt
When you try to do something bold and fearless and courageous, that annoying voice may say, “You shouldn’t follow your heart. The last time you followed your heart and got married, your marriage failed and you got divorced.” That self-doubt can keep you from following your heart. It can stop you from harnessing your intuition. Until now. That self-doubt has no place in your post-divorce life. The next time your self-doubt creeps in, trying to throw a wrench in your plans to be fearless, I want you to embrace the following....
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Butterfly on spring flowers

Why is Healing After Divorce so Hard?

Martha Bodyfelt
If your divorce is finished, you might be kicking yourself. I know I was. Back in 2011, my year-long divorce was finalized, but I wasn’t jumping up and down and doing cartwheels. I felt stuck. But the fact that you’re having those feelings means you’re actually growing. Because you’re now looking back on the painful stuff, seeing what lessons you can learn from it. So you can heal. So you can move on....
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Kiss and lipstick

When a Kiss is Easier than Saying ‘No Thank You.’

Ginny Poleman
When I left the coffee shop with Jonathan, I had reached that moment on the date when I had to make a decision: how would I graciously end this? We had matched on Bumble. We’d both attended Cornell and knew some of the same people. Before we met, we had a hilarious phone conversation. I had looked forward to the date, but when we met, he wasn’t exactly what I expected. He was overwhelmingly big in personality…and underwhelming in stature....
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Carrie Bradshaw

Some Things I Never Do When Dating After 50

Ginny Poleman
I walked into the swanky hotel lobby bar dressed in black jeans, black shear blouse, black boots, and my favorite red shearling coat, furry side out. It was a ‘look at me’ outfit. I felt like Carrie Bradshaw. “Where do you live?” I asked, covering the ubiquitous ‘get-to-know-you’ questions. “Chelsea, but you’ll never see the inside of my place,” he gibed....
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Woman dating on zoom

The Surprising Benefit of Zoom Dating

Marcia Lansing
I carefully applied Nars Roman Holiday lipstick; just a hint of color to go with the sweater, instead of a darker color that doesn't suit my aging complexion. To avoid gas, I was not drinking a vodka tonic. Instead, I smoked a joint called Banana Kush that promised “a mellow buzz and a relaxed sense of euphoria in social settings.” Just for kicks, I spritzed myself with my favorite jasmine perfume and logged into Zoom a little early. “I look good.” I thought. “Cute even. And the Zoom filter hides all my wrinkles.”’ I had purposely made myself the Zoom host so I would have time to examine and re-examine my on-screen appearance and create the right lighting, if need be....
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we need an unlike button

3 Steps to Beat Divorce Loneliness When You’re on Facebook

Martha Bodyfelt
When you start feeling lonely and left out, especially after divorce, there are three simple things you can do to get your mindset back on track that will pull you out of that Facebook divorce loneliness pit. 1. Mute or unfollow the people whose posts make you feel like shit. It’s as simple as that. If there are a handful of women on your timeline that constantly post those annoying posts that are like “I’m joining the ‘I love my husband’ challenge”...
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A sad woman with mask on her face stands near closed Museum. Ban on walking, visiting public places

The Hardest Story To Tell

Deanna Dawson
I like to think of myself as a writer and storyteller, someone who shares the good and bad and complicated of my life freely. I have no qualms opening up about sex, money, politics yet this story has sat with me for two years. I have a fear that I will be seen as a victim, someone who accepts violence and abuse, not the educated, self aware feminist I am. This story doesn’t happen to people like me. This is my difficult story:...
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