Relationships

Join the Relationship conversation! BA50s are dealing with all kinds of relationships: we are married after 50, divorced after 50, puzzling over sexless marriage or rekindling our love lives at midlife; sandwiched in between our aging parents and our adult kids, becoming grandparents and so much more. Not to mention how we are relating to ourselves in this unique stage of life.

Bras

Boobs and The Single Lady

I have been the recipient of very practical advice since I’ve begun dating, on topics ranging from sexually-transmitted diseases over the age of 60 to how to weed out “catfishers” on Bumble. However, the most humbling advice was from a writing friend, who received it from one of her friends, likely passed down from other well-meaning single women. “Refrain from “being on top” when you have sex. Your boobs will take on a life of their own.” I have never really liked my boobs and this is just one more reason. If sex after 60 weren’t awkward enough, with all the aging body parts, I now needed to worry about smothering a man with my breasts....

Tattoos: Never Say Never, Even After 60

I grew up in a world that was divided into two kinds of people: those who had tattoos and those who were afraid of people with tattoos. In the movies, prisoners and gang members, carnival workers and criminals had them. They marked reckless, defiant outsiders…tribal members with a shady moral compass.  Nazis tattooed people. End of story. Then in the 70s, the stigma dimmed a bit. Fashionable, creative, adventurous celebrities like Cher, Peter Fonda and Janis Joplin displayed their ink. The chests and arms of those “in the service” in Viet Nam showed their proud affiliation. For the first time, although far from my thing, I saw tattoos as an indicator of something relevant to a person’s individual story, a canvas of their experiences....
Thanksgiving dinner

This Thanksgiving Is Different!

Thanksgiving will be like no other because of last Thanksgiving. This year many of us dare to gather but we cannot forget what we lived through just one Thanksgiving ago. And that remembrance makes this Thanksgiving all the more special. Most of us are going to gather despite the rising rates of Covid, because it's time for us to be together again. We are ready to celebrate and be hopeful. The simple act of gathering has taken on new meaning. The gathering is the grand prize of this Thanksgiving....
Antique clock

What’s Really Important is Time After 50!

I went in to buy a vacuum years ago and listened as the salesman tried to close a deal, assuring a woman my age that the appliance had a twenty-year guarantee. “I don’t care about that,” she answered. I felt sad for her. Last weekend the scene repeated itself verbatim when I went to purchase a new mattress. After a split second of recognizing “yep, that’s me now,” I flipped the message and bought the most luxurious mattress I’ve ever owned....
Nightrose PJs

PJ’s, Girlfriends and Sleep Overs

“Deb, You want to do a home to home?”

“Love to."

“Really, seriously?”

My feet start twitching and I am out of my chair -- I’m so excited.

I am suddenly 12 years old again, and a little giddy with the idea. That beastly Covid has ruined our annual sleepovers for too long. 

Like a rebellious pre-teen, we feel courageous and agree to a date.

I had been at her place last time, so we were going to start this round at my place. It was my turn now.

I wanted to get her something special to commemorate the sleepover re-launch.  My British friend had told me about these amazing PJ’s and so I went on-line to check them out. They were fabulous looking and frankly looked a little British. 

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Words of wisdom

Not So Wise Words of Wisdom

I’m sending out a blanket apology to anyone who listened to my advice when I was twenty-five. I’m so sorry, I was an idiot. My friend Sonia recently reminded me that she got married because of me. I had no recollection of any profound words. We thought, how many bad marriages could have been avoided if people didn’t listen to our shitty WISDOM? ...
Beautiful woman contemplating a beautiful road surrounded by nature

Can I Have a Do Over?

“Georgia, I swear I’ve never seen such a smile.” I hadn't heard Boz Scaggs in years and suddenly all I could see was my younger self, with a whole future of unlimited possibilities available to her. It was a moment in time when anything and anyone was possible.  However,  I think I chose the wrong guy, settled into a mediocre marriage and was now 60 and alone for the first time since my late twenties. Damn you Boz Scaggs, I want a do over!...