Relationships

Join the Relationship conversation! BA50s are dealing with all kinds of relationships: we are married after 50, divorced after 50, puzzling over sexless marriage or rekindling our love lives at midlife; sandwiched in between our aging parents and our adult kids, becoming grandparents and so much more. Not to mention how we are relating to ourselves in this unique stage of life.

Butterfly on spring flowers

Why is Healing After Divorce so Hard?

Martha Bodyfelt
If your divorce is finished, you might be kicking yourself. I know I was. Back in 2011, my year-long divorce was finalized, but I wasn’t jumping up and down and doing cartwheels. I felt stuck. But the fact that you’re having those feelings means you’re actually growing. Because you’re now looking back on the painful stuff, seeing what lessons you can learn from it. So you can heal. So you can move on....
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Kiss and lipstick

When a Kiss is Easier than Saying ‘No Thank You.’

Ginny Poleman
When I left the coffee shop with Jonathan, I had reached that moment on the date when I had to make a decision: how would I graciously end this? We had matched on Bumble. We’d both attended Cornell and knew some of the same people. Before we met, we had a hilarious phone conversation. I had looked forward to the date, but when we met, he wasn’t exactly what I expected. He was overwhelmingly big in personality…and underwhelming in stature....
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Felice Shapiro

I Glanced At My Reflection and Paused…Am I Ready For This?

felice
My suitcases lay empty and open, waiting for content. I was reluctant. After 3 months of hunkering down in the mountains of Park City, our rental was up. I had left myself 3 days to pack up. But each day I found a reason to bypass the empty suitcases and take another walk, read my book, and write a bit more. Anything but fill that nylon zippered void.......
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After Mom Died: Evolving Sisterly Love

Kristina Damon
After my mother's death, my two sisters and I, who were close in age but in no other way, were obliged to work together to settle her affairs, deal with lawyers and so forth.... During this time, which stretched into two years, we had to work together and tolerate each other’s unique temperaments, priorities and schedules, which were often in conflict. It was stressful and trying. During this time, which stretched into two years, we had to work together and tolerate each other’s unique temperaments,...
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Felice and Susan zoom call

Sexually Woke: Join Us This Monday March 22 In A Conversation with Author Dr. Susan Hardwick-Smith

felice
Dr. Hardwick-Smith talks about the 3 important elements to becoming sexually woke in midlife and after menopause. She is a true BA50, believing like us that life gets Betterafter50. After listening to this conversation with Susan, you are welcome to join Dr. Hardwick-Smith and myself on Monday March 22nd at 5 pm EST for a 90 minutes for a live interactive zoom where we will welcome questions from our BA50s readers. To register for this event please click the link below:...
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What You Can’t Ask Your Adult Daughter About Dating

Karen Philip
“I’ll tell you but promise you won’t be weird.” “I won’t be weird. I’m never weird.” “Oh my God mom, you’re always weird about this stuff.” Nikki’s younger sister Lulu piped in. “What do you mean? You guys never tell me anything so how can I be weird about it?” “That’s why we don’t tell you. Because you’re weird.” “Well, I’m not promising anything. I’m your mom and if I want to be weird about it, I’ll be weird. Now do tell!” ...
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Carrie Bradshaw

Some Things I Never Do When Dating After 50

Ginny Poleman
I walked into the swanky hotel lobby bar dressed in black jeans, black shear blouse, black boots, and my favorite red shearling coat, furry side out. It was a ‘look at me’ outfit. I felt like Carrie Bradshaw. “Where do you live?” I asked, covering the ubiquitous ‘get-to-know-you’ questions. “Chelsea, but you’ll never see the inside of my place,” he gibed....
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Shirley Valentine DVD Cover

A Role Model For Fearless Women… Shirley Valentine Lives On

Corinne Kovalsky
I first met Shirley Valentine almost 20 years ago. The chatty, quirky, homely heroine in the movie by the same name, she was skillfully portrayed by British actress Pauline Collins. Shirley was a bored, middle-aged housewife who felt life was passing her by. Trapped in a bad marriage and going through the motions, she spent most of her time alone, at home, talking to the wall. Then came act two. And that’s when things got interesting. The drab mother of two grown children ran away from home....
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Woman dating on zoom

The Surprising Benefit of Zoom Dating

Marcia Lansing
I carefully applied Nars Roman Holiday lipstick; just a hint of color to go with the sweater, instead of a darker color that doesn't suit my aging complexion. To avoid gas, I was not drinking a vodka tonic. Instead, I smoked a joint called Banana Kush that promised “a mellow buzz and a relaxed sense of euphoria in social settings.” Just for kicks, I spritzed myself with my favorite jasmine perfume and logged into Zoom a little early. “I look good.” I thought. “Cute even. And the Zoom filter hides all my wrinkles.”’ I had purposely made myself the Zoom host so I would have time to examine and re-examine my on-screen appearance and create the right lighting, if need be....
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Ginny Poleman

Post Divorce: Feeling like 18 Again

Ginny Poleman
Last Saturday with no plans, I reserved a timed entry for one person to the Whitney Museum of Art and headed downtown. I plugged my earbuds in listening to the museum’s audio guide, and took my time revisiting my favorites and appreciating some new works of art. No one interrupted, distracted, or expected anything of me. My skin tingled with inspiration, as my heart rate slowed. My feet floated through the galleries, while my spirit was grounded....
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Illustration

Control Top Rescue

Belinda Darr
How the Hell did I get into this thing anyway? I managed to get the straps down and push the cups to my waist. Trying to push the thing down over my hips was harder, my thumbs got stuck in the underpants. Standing there, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, thumbs in my crotch. I needed one hand to pull out the other. I jerked my right hand out really hard and my arm ricocheted into the side of the dressing room partition. If my arm didn’t hurt so bad I might think this was funny. Thank God I was the only one in the dressing room. Ok what are my options?...
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