Humor

Ginny Poleman

Post Divorce: Feeling like 18 Again

Last Saturday with no plans, I reserved a timed entry for one person to the Whitney Museum of Art and headed downtown. I plugged my earbuds in listening to the museum’s audio guide, and took my time revisiting my favorites and appreciating some new works of art. No one interrupted, distracted, or expected anything of me. My skin tingled with inspiration, as my heart rate slowed. My feet floated through the galleries, while my spirit was grounded....
Illustration

Control Top Rescue

How the Hell did I get into this thing anyway? I managed to get the straps down and push the cups to my waist. Trying to push the thing down over my hips was harder, my thumbs got stuck in the underpants. Standing there, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, thumbs in my crotch. I needed one hand to pull out the other. I jerked my right hand out really hard and my arm ricocheted into the side of the dressing room partition. If my arm didn’t hurt so bad I might think this was funny. Thank God I was the only one in the dressing room. Ok what are my options?...
Skiing and listening to music

Throwback Music That Fills The Soul : What’s On Your Spotify Playlist?

My Harman Kardon stereo was my bed mate in high school. America's Horse with No Name, The Doors Rider's On The Storm, and Steve Miller's Joker and Toker and Midnight Smoker tucked me into my dreams each night. I can't remember it all but Bruce Springsteen carried me through my first romance and although I gave up the boyfriend, I never gave up Bruce....
House for sale

Seller Beware

It should have been so easy. Everyone else had done it in a snap: why not us? The real estate market was booming in our town and after 3 years of vacillation, of should-we-stay-or-should we-go we decided to go. We called our agent friend, our neighbor, who had sold two houses already on our street, and told her we were ready...

Covid And The Mutation of Language

The pandemic has led to an explosion of new phrases and a language that has become commonplace in how we talk and understand the new world. Quarantine is no longer just for dogs, Garden parties are no longer just for summer, Lockdown is not only for those in prison, Tiering now has nothing to do with cakes, Super spreader has nothing to do with butter........

Everything I Ever Needed to Know About Sex and Midlife Came from a Pilates Studio

The many hours spent in a woman only hothouse of female style exercise has released endorphinal rushes of intimate stories told in whispers that lead to roars of laughter.  We’ve become experts at distracting each other from the hard work of stabilizing our bodies on a moving platform by talking female. ...

My Electric Boyfriend

I knew things were about to change when I went shopping for CBD cream and came home with a vibrator. This was before hemp became legal in Massachusetts and you had to buy CBD at questionable places, like the “adult shop'' about five miles north of Boston. Since my sex life had been evicerated by my husband’s illness, medication and sheer exhaustion, buying a vibrator suddenly seemed like the easiest way to save the one thing I might be able to control in my life....
Dog

My Dog’s Spirit Animal

I was screaming at Siri who had conveniently decided to stop talking to me while I was lost on one of the busiest highways outside of Boston. That’s why I declined my daughter’s call when it came through the first time. When she immediately called back, All I heard was, “MOM DON'T HANG UP!” My first thought was I am such a bad mother that my daughter would actually say that to me. It was followed by my daughter’s hysterical sobbing, “Lucy ran away and may have been hit by a car....
Nutcracker Ballet

Lost In A Nutcracker Fantasy And Other Couch Travels

We wandered to the kitchen as the TV kept on, and when we returned to the couch, there was Hoda, narrating the Nutcracker story performed by the Boston Ballet.. Without a verbal redirect, Bill and I settled in and ate our bowl of turkey chili and watched Clara and her Nutcracker prince dance. Bill is not a ballet nut to my knowledge and I go once a year with my birthday twin to Alvin Ailey with our posse....
Kirk and Spock

What’s Your Playbook Look Like During Lockdown on Your Starship Enterprise

I never wanted to be on Starship Enterprise when Captain Kirk looked over to Spock and said, "We are going into lockdown." The magical sliding doors would seal and the Captain's Deck would be contained. And we would spend the next 30 minutes watching anxiously what was going to happen during this containment. I'm not sure who is playing Captain Kirk, I think we tend to switch off, on our Starship America 2020, my husband may not agree with that assessment. He and I are refining our skills in the cockpit of our lives. And we are creating daily routines on our Starship America 2020 during our containment....