Humor

A Love/Hate Relationship with My Breasts

“After 50 years old, you should never have sex on top,” my girlfriend quoted her mother. “Why not?” I cried out. “I love it on top!” “I know, but Mom preached, ‘You don’t want your big old breasts hanging in his face,’” she said wagging her scolding finger. I hadn’t really visualized what my “girls” might look like from HIS perspective. It occurred to me that if I hovered over his face low enough, I could probably smother him to death with my bottom-heavy, pendulous pillows. Always looking for a solution to continue to do what feels good, I asked, “What if I wore a pretty bra?”...
Tom Brady

An Ode to Tom Brady and Super Bowl Fandom

Professional football has given this only girl, sandwiched between an older and younger brother, something to talk about with my father and brothers. It was Monday, February 6, 2017, and my beloved New England Patriots had just made the greatest comeback in sports history to beat the Atlanta Falcons in Super Bowl LI.  My flying companion and I had watched highlights of the game on ESPN the entire flight. The night before, as Tom Brady skillfully started picking away at the Patriot’s deficit, I felt a physical transformation....

On Writing: How We Jump Started Our Creative Juices

Covid fatigue is a bear. Despite the camaraderie of our writing group we were running flat after 2 years of weekly 2 hour sessions. "How do we get re-inspired  and re-motivated," was the burning question.  And, as the group's leader, I was charged with the personal challenge to find a way to wake us all up. So this Tuesday's writing group meeting started with a cry for help.  "Hey guys, is anyone having a hard time focusing lately?"  They all nodded in agreement. "Ok, ok," I was starting to feel my pulse again,  "Me too. So let's try this...( I was grasping at anything at this point).......
Tony Robbins

Darwinism, Tony Robbins and Surviving “The Winter of Our Discontent”

There is something truly scientific going on here as we move into our 3rd winter of discontent. There's something that the historians and scientists will have a go at in a few years, but as of now we have to muck through the reality of this winter.  Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful. My gratitude list is huge but we humans are not meant to live like this. What is the Darwinian side of isolation? Who wins? Maybe only Tony Robbins' disciples win. ...
Cancer Made Me a Comedian

Cancer Made Me a Commedian

I wanted my life to have meaning. So, I decided to leave Canada and go to Hawaii. Call it a mid-life crisis or call it escape from reality…I was going to spend a few years volunteering for a charitable organization there. Surely that would cure my destiny angst. “I’ll discover my purpose there,” I thought. And if I didn’t, at least I’d get a good tan. Baby steps. I was way overdue for my mammogram, so I figured I’d better get one before I left. Come to think of it, I’d had a painful lump for several weeks, but everyone said that if a lump was painful, it wasn’t cancer, so I wasn’t worried. After all, ‘everyone’ knows best, right? After the mammogram, my doctor ordered an ultrasound, then a biopsy. “There’s something there, but it’s probably nothing,” he reassured me....
Bras

Boobs and The Single Lady

I have been the recipient of very practical advice since I’ve begun dating, on topics ranging from sexually-transmitted diseases over the age of 60 to how to weed out “catfishers” on Bumble. However, the most humbling advice was from a writing friend, who received it from one of her friends, likely passed down from other well-meaning single women. “Refrain from “being on top” when you have sex. Your boobs will take on a life of their own.” I have never really liked my boobs and this is just one more reason. If sex after 60 weren’t awkward enough, with all the aging body parts, I now needed to worry about smothering a man with my breasts....
BA50 Bloggers Writing Retreat

Covid Rears Its Ugly Head Once Again

I truly thought we were done. I foolishly thought we were done. After being vaccinated and boostered I felt like I had a shield around me. But then I went on a two-night retreat sharing a house and meals and lots of glorious writing and even more glorious laughter with seven other vaxxed women.  (Our BA50 Writers Blogging Group). It felt so good and so back-to-normal again… until it wasn’t....
Felice skiing

How We See Ourselves: The Meet And Greet

I've been meeting a lot of new people lately as my husband and I have settled into our winter life in Park City, Utah for the second year. And so, at every new social introduction I am greeted with the same question..."It's so nice to meet you? What do you do?" So many decades of living have resulted in a full mantle of mini monikers...a mini series with multiple seasons. A bookshelf full of titles and chapters that need serious editing.  But which one will I pull off the shelf first? ...

Tattoos: Never Say Never, Even After 60

I grew up in a world that was divided into two kinds of people: those who had tattoos and those who were afraid of people with tattoos. In the movies, prisoners and gang members, carnival workers and criminals had them. They marked reckless, defiant outsiders…tribal members with a shady moral compass.  Nazis tattooed people. End of story. Then in the 70s, the stigma dimmed a bit. Fashionable, creative, adventurous celebrities like Cher, Peter Fonda and Janis Joplin displayed their ink. The chests and arms of those “in the service” in Viet Nam showed their proud affiliation. For the first time, although far from my thing, I saw tattoos as an indicator of something relevant to a person’s individual story, a canvas of their experiences....
TV Remote

My TV Remote Misery: WTF

Last month for my birthday we got the Samsung Frame tv whose main selling point is, when off, displays different pieces of art work and/or selected pictures from your phone. “Can I get network television?” “Yes,” promised the sales rep. “Do I need a Firestick or Roku?” “Nope. All built in.” And thus began Liz’s latest foray into techno-world. The Geek Squad guys came out and installed it. Gave me a two-hour tutorial. I wrote everything in a notebook. When they left I felt pretty confident I had a handle on this and started to play around with it....
Felice Shapiro

Avoiding Transition

"When are we leaving? It's already mid-October and we are the only ones on our street who are still here." My husband has been ready move on from our island home of almost 6 months and back on the mainland of life. "Wow, really, you're ready? I have so many writing projects. I'm starting my Podcast. I will get distracted by life if I leave here. It's so cozy and quiet here. I can think here. All the tourists have left. I love it." "You mean you just want to stay for another month or two?" "That would be awesome." What a gem of a guy I think. "Nope, that's not gonna happen." "Holy, shit he's really ready."...
Nightrose PJs

PJ’s, Girlfriends and Sleep Overs

“Deb, You want to do a home to home?”

“Love to."

“Really, seriously?”

My feet start twitching and I am out of my chair -- I’m so excited.

I am suddenly 12 years old again, and a little giddy with the idea. That beastly Covid has ruined our annual sleepovers for too long. 

Like a rebellious pre-teen, we feel courageous and agree to a date.

I had been at her place last time, so we were going to start this round at my place. It was my turn now.

I wanted to get her something special to commemorate the sleepover re-launch.  My British friend had told me about these amazing PJ’s and so I went on-line to check them out. They were fabulous looking and frankly looked a little British. 

...
Words of wisdom

Not So Wise Words of Wisdom

I’m sending out a blanket apology to anyone who listened to my advice when I was twenty-five. I’m so sorry, I was an idiot. My friend Sonia recently reminded me that she got married because of me. I had no recollection of any profound words. We thought, how many bad marriages could have been avoided if people didn’t listen to our shitty WISDOM? ...
Bar Cart

The Bar Cart Dilemma: We Vowed Not To Shop At Walmart And Then…..

Mom would scary-mutter things about unfair labor practices and dismal manufacturing conditions whenever we drove past that store, her opinion proclaimed with such vehemence I could clearly imagine whip-wielding giants standing over kids (just like my friends and I) laboring over assembly of Barbie Dream Houses.  Walmart-avoidance was just a point of fact as I grew up, never something I judged in others. Or did I? I probably could have been quieter about disliking Walmart when the Kids were young.  But like many Mom-isms, the words and explanations of why “We don’t shop at Walmart” shot out of my mouth. The Kids were listening....
Felice Shapiro

Happy Birthday Obama From a Better After 50 Superfan

This week, there’s been a lot of buzz on Martha’s Vineyard about Barack’s birthday. He’s throwing a party for his 60’th and it’s no secret. He is loved and the celebs are pouring in.  Bruce, Oprah and Clooney and Alicia Keys to name a few and I couldn’t be happier for him. And so, as I watched him quietly tee off from the green, he looked up for a quick moment, struck the ball dead center, hit a spectacular down the fairway drive, paused and then look me right in the eye, smiled and waved to me. I waved back. And then he stepped forward still smiling with full eye contact. “I wanted to wish you a happy birthday and I hope you have a great celebration," I said. And he graciously nodded and looked me straight in the eye and said......