Humor

It’s Not About the Hairdresser It’s The Journey

Liz. I don’t know why you insist on making that drive every month. There’s gotta be plenty of good hairdressers down here.” . And so begins my husband’s and my monthly-I won’t call it an argument-more of a debate- about my refusal to give up my every-four-week cut and color appointment on Newbury Street in Boston even though we moved to the Southeastern Connecticut shoreline 3 years ago....
Felice Shapiro

Things I Never Thought I’d Say or Hear A Year Ago

At times, I barely recognize the former me. A slow drip or should I say an injection of hope is on the horizon as the vaccine rolls out and into the arms of friends and family but in the meantime...... I wonder about the behaviors of the new me that have become embedded over the past year.  "No problem, I can wake up at 5:30 for our yoga class." Did I just say that? Yup.  ...
Candle

This Smells Like My (Charred) Vagina

For years, advertisers have tried to convince women that we should be ashamed of any aroma that might be leaching out of our Southern Hemisphere. A quick online search for “vaginal odor products” yields nearly five million treatment options including one called “Private Party Vaginal Probiotic” and another, a complete “Vaginal Health Kit,” in case just one product doesn’t nip the problem in the bud. Thank god someone who actually has one is finally reassuring us that, gee, our vaginas smell terrific! I’ve barely caught up with the aforementioned candle, when, lo and behold, Gwyneth’s back in the laboratory....
Woman dating on zoom

The Surprising Benefit of Zoom Dating

I carefully applied Nars Roman Holiday lipstick; just a hint of color to go with the sweater, instead of a darker color that doesn't suit my aging complexion. To avoid gas, I was not drinking a vodka tonic. Instead, I smoked a joint called Banana Kush that promised “a mellow buzz and a relaxed sense of euphoria in social settings.” Just for kicks, I spritzed myself with my favorite jasmine perfume and logged into Zoom a little early. “I look good.” I thought. “Cute even. And the Zoom filter hides all my wrinkles.”’ I had purposely made myself the Zoom host so I would have time to examine and re-examine my on-screen appearance and create the right lighting, if need be....
Ginny Poleman

Post Divorce: Feeling like 18 Again

Last Saturday with no plans, I reserved a timed entry for one person to the Whitney Museum of Art and headed downtown. I plugged my earbuds in listening to the museum’s audio guide, and took my time revisiting my favorites and appreciating some new works of art. No one interrupted, distracted, or expected anything of me. My skin tingled with inspiration, as my heart rate slowed. My feet floated through the galleries, while my spirit was grounded....
Illustration

Control Top Rescue

How the Hell did I get into this thing anyway? I managed to get the straps down and push the cups to my waist. Trying to push the thing down over my hips was harder, my thumbs got stuck in the underpants. Standing there, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, thumbs in my crotch. I needed one hand to pull out the other. I jerked my right hand out really hard and my arm ricocheted into the side of the dressing room partition. If my arm didn’t hurt so bad I might think this was funny. Thank God I was the only one in the dressing room. Ok what are my options?...
Skiing and listening to music

Throwback Music That Fills The Soul : What’s On Your Spotify Playlist?

My Harman Kardon stereo was my bed mate in high school. America's Horse with No Name, The Doors Rider's On The Storm, and Steve Miller's Joker and Toker and Midnight Smoker tucked me into my dreams each night. I can't remember it all but Bruce Springsteen carried me through my first romance and although I gave up the boyfriend, I never gave up Bruce....
House for sale

Seller Beware

It should have been so easy. Everyone else had done it in a snap: why not us? The real estate market was booming in our town and after 3 years of vacillation, of should-we-stay-or-should we-go we decided to go. We called our agent friend, our neighbor, who had sold two houses already on our street, and told her we were ready...

Covid And The Mutation of Language

The pandemic has led to an explosion of new phrases and a language that has become commonplace in how we talk and understand the new world. Quarantine is no longer just for dogs, Garden parties are no longer just for summer, Lockdown is not only for those in prison, Tiering now has nothing to do with cakes, Super spreader has nothing to do with butter........

Everything I Ever Needed to Know About Sex and Midlife Came from a Pilates Studio

The many hours spent in a woman only hothouse of female style exercise has released endorphinal rushes of intimate stories told in whispers that lead to roars of laughter.  We’ve become experts at distracting each other from the hard work of stabilizing our bodies on a moving platform by talking female. ...

My Electric Boyfriend

I knew things were about to change when I went shopping for CBD cream and came home with a vibrator. This was before hemp became legal in Massachusetts and you had to buy CBD at questionable places, like the “adult shop'' about five miles north of Boston. Since my sex life had been evicerated by my husband’s illness, medication and sheer exhaustion, buying a vibrator suddenly seemed like the easiest way to save the one thing I might be able to control in my life....