Healthy Mind

Felice Shapiro skiing

7 Reasons My Feel Age is Way Younger Than My Real Age…What About You?

Everyone is guilty of asking....How old are you or How old is She?  But why do we ask that question? What are we really getting at when we ask that question? Is it a competition as younger is better? Maybe that's why we ask? But I've been thinking, I mean most of my friends are within 5 to 7  years of each other -- why are we so obsessed about how old we are?  What's strange is that question has always annoyed me because it makes me feel pigeon holed --- and that's because my real age casts me in a place that doesn't reflect how I really feel. Disclosing my real age strikes me as incorrect, that I need to rethink the number as there may be some miscalculation. When I think about my real age, I think someone got it wrong. I mean how can I be in my 60's which feels perhaps too old to feel the way I feel . I am still doing pretty much everything I did in my 50's... Yes....almost everything with modifications and some things I'm doing way better!...
Beth Nast

Trying Out Santa Barbara For The Winter

There are many ways to go on vacation. Each one suits a person’s soul, budget and time constraints. Trips to Europe to see cathedrals and art, cruising the Greek Islands, staying put at a lush resort in Fiji, climbing the Alps, the list is endless. Over the last 10 years or so, since empty nest-hood and semi retirement, we’ve taken to renting homes in one place and learning the ins and outs as if we’ve moved there. Our kids visit and we are a family in a home again, having traded traditional home life for our Boston condo years ago. Spending time in one place suits my purpose of feeling as if I have lived in many places. We’ve done this in Breckenridge, Colorado (4 yrs), and Delray Beach, FL (4 years) and this year we added a new place to our temporary digs: Santa Barbara, California. Santa Barbara is known as The American Riviera thanks to its Spanish Colonial Revival architecture, cliffside beaches, mountain ranges, a world-renowned food and wine scene, stunning natural beauty and near-perfect weather. That sounded to us like a trip to Europe while staying in the USA. Our Colorado son said, “Sounds like another rich white flight” (which in part it is), but fortunately we were there long enough to see what lies beneath. After careful investigation on Air B&B, and enlisting a local to confirm our choice, we rented a hilltop beach home in Summerland, CA, a tiny town just a few miles outside of Santa Barbara, next door to Montecito, the home of Harry and Meghan, Ellen DeGeneres and Oprah, to namedrop a few....
Hands making a heart at sunset

HOW TO START FEELING CONFIDENT, WORTHY, AND RELEVANT AGAIN

Have you ever felt irrelevant? No matter the past and circumstances that are swirling around you right now – have you ever felt THAT? How do you validate your relevance? Who’s there to judge? The truth is, no matter how worthless I feel, no matter how worthless you feel too, we were placed here for a damn good reason! A good reason indeed. Think about it for a second. Tell your sh**ty thoughts that tell you otherwise to shut the hell up! Think about your relevance. Read more by Lesya Li...
Felice Shapiro

Don’t Waste Your Time Worrying About Your Age Because 60 May Just Be The New Middle Age

Every birthday after 50 most of think we are heading toward that "older" age but it's not true. There are some incredible statistics on our side proving that not only are we going to live longer but every day 10,000 people turn 65 which means there are plenty of "us". And when we hit 65 we are still not the oldest generation as "The fastest growing age group in the U.S. is people over age 85, and the second fastest is people 100 and over (centenarians). Experts predict a twelvefold increase in centenarians by the year 2060, and that a 10-year-old child alive today has a 50% chance of living to be over 100.May 26, 2022." Obviously there's a myriad of topics that an aging population triggers in terms of the economics of supporting this demo and how our kids will bear the brunt of that burden. But, on another note -- back to us -- since longevity is in our favor, it begs the question and demands immediate answers as to what are we doing to day to ensure we are not wasting our time bemoaning how old we are, examining our saggy skin, and delaying getting that hip replaced. I for one am kinda pissed that I spent too much time thinking I was old when I turned 60 because the truth is once I found the right place to live and celebrate each day, age has become less of a topic. This is the 3rd winter my husband and I are living in Park City, Utah it's hard to feel old here since this place is all about being outdoors and being active....
Interview

What Women In Their 50’s and 60’s Are Worrying About

Attention Better After 50 women -- are you a worrier? Do you or a loved one you know suffer with anxiety? Well you are not alone. Women in their 50's and 60's are worrying. That's a fact. And, according to Lynn Lyons, it's normal. But the way we worry, ruminate, our patterns of how we deal with our anxiety, has been embedded over the years. In her new book The Anxiety Audit, Lynn talks about identifying our patterns and how to shift them. Lynn's book is incredibly helpful for those of us who are worriers. Women over 50 know their roles are changing and we need to pivot. The tools we used as the key player in our families requires new strategies. Lynn's techniques for dealing with anxiety and worry and RPN, repetitive negative thinking, are simple to understand and incredibly helpful. Please listen in to my interview with Lynn and share with those you love and hopefully this will be helpful to you. Felice Shapiro In Conversation With Author Lynn Lyons...

Positive Steps: Getting Into the Growth Zone

“The comfort zone is a behavioral state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviors to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk.” There is a great piece in positive psychology about getting out of the comfort zone and into the growth zone and how to do it. "The core idea is that our nervous systems have a Goldilocks zone of arousal. Too little, and you remain in the comfort zone, where boredom sets in. But too much, and you enter the ‘panic’ zone, which also stalls progress."...

A Love/Hate Relationship with My Breasts

“After 50 years old, you should never have sex on top,” my girlfriend quoted her mother. “Why not?” I cried out. “I love it on top!” “I know, but Mom preached, ‘You don’t want your big old breasts hanging in his face,’” she said wagging her scolding finger. I hadn’t really visualized what my “girls” might look like from HIS perspective. It occurred to me that if I hovered over his face low enough, I could probably smother him to death with my bottom-heavy, pendulous pillows. Always looking for a solution to continue to do what feels good, I asked, “What if I wore a pretty bra?”...
Ronna Benjamin

Body Image Acceptance: Boobs, Cancer, and 10 pounds

It has been over five years now since the end of treatment, and the whole experience seems like a nightmare that happened to someone else. I have truly put it in a box in my mind that opens shortly before my annual mammogram, and then closes again. Since that time, my husband and I moved onto our sailboat and lived a life full of adventure. I have short silver hair that I love. And when I look in the mirror, I am still just fine with my boobs. It is still that extra 10-15 pounds on my ass and hips that I hate....

On Writing: How We Jump Started Our Creative Juices

Covid fatigue is a bear. Despite the camaraderie of our writing group we were running flat after 2 years of weekly 2 hour sessions. "How do we get re-inspired  and re-motivated," was the burning question.  And, as the group's leader, I was charged with the personal challenge to find a way to wake us all up. So this Tuesday's writing group meeting started with a cry for help.  "Hey guys, is anyone having a hard time focusing lately?"  They all nodded in agreement. "Ok, ok," I was starting to feel my pulse again,  "Me too. So let's try this...( I was grasping at anything at this point).......
Graceful woman dancer dancing on the beach

My Oprah Winfrey Moment…Why 52 doesn’t have to be 30

That was precisely when it happened, my authentic Oprah Winfrey a-ha moment. At 52, I wanted out of our poisonous, youth-obsessed beauty culture, illusionary at best but more often unapologetically deceptive. Images offered as “effortless” in magazines and social media seductively and insidiously pulverize female self-esteem to a microfine powder which fails its promise to illuminate. I wanted my money back. I credit my savvy and self-confident teenage daughter Kate for rousing me from idiocy. It was a Sunday morning, and with a keen eye, I scrutinized online offerings...
couple hugging

Why We Need a Hug Now!

In these disorienting times I feel like I’m holding all this emotion in my body with nowhere to put it. There was actually a study where healthy adults were monitored for how often they hugged. Then they were quarantined and intentionally infected with a cold virus. Those who received more hugs had less severe disease. Counterintuitive, no? That those who receive more hugs are somehow more protected from infection? Maybe if CVS dispensed comforting hugs.......
Tony Robbins

Darwinism, Tony Robbins and Surviving “The Winter of Our Discontent”

There is something truly scientific going on here as we move into our 3rd winter of discontent. There's something that the historians and scientists will have a go at in a few years, but as of now we have to muck through the reality of this winter.  Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful. My gratitude list is huge but we humans are not meant to live like this. What is the Darwinian side of isolation? Who wins? Maybe only Tony Robbins' disciples win. ...