Dating After 50

Ginny Poleman

“More of THAT, Please.” An Exercise in Manifesting the Perfect Guy for Me

Ginny Poleman
I recently discovered a dating coach on social media who put out a challenge — a kind of manifestation. She said, “instead of being discouraged by the stupid shit men do [my words, not verbatim from the dating coach], focus on the behaviors you like, and say to the Universe ‘Yes, please! More of THAT!’” I liked this idea of giving a thumbs-up on what worked instead of kvetching on the negative. Too many times I’ve shaken my head feeling discouraged, frustrated, and sometimes, downright pissy about dating. For example, texting with obtuse men like Michael on dating apps. Michael: How’s your day so far babe? Me: Good! Thanks. Isn’t it a bit premature to use “babe” before we’ve even met? 😉 Michael: Babe, it’s nothing. It’s just a name to show how much I appreciate you. Well, I hope you appreciate this, Michael: *Unmatch.* Oh Universe? No more pet names, please....
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Woman using dating app on the phone

Relationship Therapy: 6 Best Apps to Strengthen Sexual Relationships And More

BA50 Talkers
According to People.com ....Dating apps are de rigueur for finding potential partners now, but using apps once you're in a relationship hasn't been quite as commonplace. Usually, we'd be thrilled about that — more face time, less FaceTime, please — but then came 2020. Dr. Britney Blair, a clinical psychologist and co-founder of sexual wellness app Lover, isn’t surprised by the transition. “Everything is digitized, and especially [during the pandemic] it saves you a trip to the doctor’s office,” says Blair, who adds, “Sex therapy, especially, can be time-consuming and expensive.” Read more on People.com...
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I Want a Dating Refund From Match.com

Julie Newburg
“I haven’t met too many women who I want to see again. But you
” he  wiggled his stubby little forefinger across the white cafe table..”you are special.” It could have been a Crossing Delancey moment, except he was not the dashing Pickle Man and I was no Amy Irving.  While I do dream about her curls and that cowboy hat, he was my exceedingly schleppy Match.com date and I was me. “You are a nice guy but I’m not sure there is a fit here for us.“ I said with unusual bravado. I was really trying to save time....
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Kiss and lipstick

When a Kiss is Easier than Saying ‘No Thank You.’

Ginny Poleman
When I left the coffee shop with Jonathan, I had reached that moment on the date when I had to make a decision: how would I graciously end this? We had matched on Bumble. We’d both attended Cornell and knew some of the same people. Before we met, we had a hilarious phone conversation. I had looked forward to the date, but when we met, he wasn’t exactly what I expected. He was overwhelmingly big in personality
and underwhelming in stature....
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Carrie Bradshaw

Some Things I Never Do When Dating After 50

Ginny Poleman
I walked into the swanky hotel lobby bar dressed in black jeans, black shear blouse, black boots, and my favorite red shearling coat, furry side out. It was a ‘look at me’ outfit. I felt like Carrie Bradshaw. “Where do you live?” I asked, covering the ubiquitous ‘get-to-know-you’ questions. “Chelsea, but you’ll never see the inside of my place,” he gibed....
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Couple in love drinking tea and enjoying winter holidays

Young Love: My Daughter and Her Boyfriend

Ginny Poleman
I tried to keep my eyes on the puzzle but I couldn’t help observing my daughter—now a young woman—gaze at her lover. People say she looks like me with her turned up nose and heart-shaped face, but her coloring is all her dad’s side of the family: deep, deep auburn hair; creamy porcelain skin with a smattering of peachy freckles; and light colored eyes—one blue, one light brown. The soft light of the fire danced across her face, illuminating her happiness....
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Post-Divorce First Date

Ginny Poleman
My new Bumble profile went live.  I held my breath. Newly separated for four months, I had packed some bags and moved to Los Angeles for the summer. It was the adventure I needed.   On Bumble, I mostly swiped left. Occasionally swiped right. I matched. I chatted with men within the app. I tentatively shared my cell phone number. I finally agreed to meet a man for lunch in Venice Beach. ...
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Jewelry gift

When a Lie Feels Kinder

Ginny Poleman
I had been on a dating spree after the New Year when all the dating apps are most active. I went on a bunch of dates, met a few nice men, all lovely in their own right, but not right for me. I saw one man more than once, John, a widower from New Jersey, who was kind and polite—maybe a bit too polite—but lovely, nonetheless....
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