I am getting a tad outraged by the investment I have been making in my personal upkeep. I know it’s my choice – honestly, it’s my decision to augment my “natural” beauty – so why do I feel trapped in this vicious cycle of hair, body and mind work?

Well let’s just say that past 50 years of age, the tide of time has caught me in its ebb and flow and rather than look like a worn torn beached whale, I have chosen to emulate beach glass — shiny, fresh, reflecting light, smooth and timeless. This is turning out to be a tough metaphor to maintain.

Not to mention the beach glass imagery is costing a bundle.

First of all let me define the areas of focus (like you don’t know already): Hair, Skin, Nails, Nutrition, Mental Health – that’s for starters. I’m not talking clothing (more on that later).

Youth for me meant EASE — leaving the house with wet hair, walking around in my jogging clothes, diving in the ocean and collapsing on the sand under the full sun without a worry.  Ease, unfortunately, has become a thing of the past. This week alone, my maintenance bill was a bundle:

Manicure – $8 –$2 tip

Pedicure $25

Hair color $260 (don’t ask, plus parking $36) (NYC favorite salon, favorite colorist)

Waxing $60

Shaman $250

Grand Total= $641 (Obscene)

I didn’t even get a haircut. Nor had I indulged in a yoga class or a round of golf.

So I thought I’d look at this battlefield and try to make peace with my outflow of time and money and take charge of the war zone.

The grays are coming – the grays are coming! Should I welcome them in? Well I’m a dirty blond and frankly that sexy silver 50 look isn’t happening for me. I have tried to let the infiltration of grays in but alas, the Brillo, SOS pad met me mid-root. So alas, I will die a blond sniffing chemicals and wedded to my salon chair writing sky-high checks for the “process”.  At least I only have to do this 4 times a year.

The mani-pedi ritual — I gave myself two months off to see if could break this habit. I failed. Unfortunately, the way I beat nail biting was with manicures and more than two weeks without a manicure and I am back eating my cuticles for breakfast.  And then there’s the foot issue.  I am a runner and biker. It turns out nail maintenance is super important, not just a quick clip but heels and toe calluses need to be removed. So, to be realistic (I swear I am!) and to keep up my fitness routine (even more important post-50), I need my pedi entrapment. Seriously.

Now to skin. I am embracing CVS. My Nana had the best skin ever, right up until 94 years of age. Her secret: Elizabeth Arden style do it yourself face massages using Ponds Cold Cream. And, just like Nana, I love Ponds. It also helped me cut my skin cream investment in half. Success feels good. Except that now I have to go to the dermatologist for all that “natural” beach life I have indulged in. Ka-CHING. – Special sun blocks and regular check-in visits are de rigueur and there’s no getting around it.

Waxing –This is not an inverse relationship. Hair removal drives the cost up.  My girlfriends and I just had a 24-hour overnight and a big topic as we sat poolside was bikini waxing. Turns out our generation of BA50’s have been learning a thing or two from our kids. I took a poll amongst the five women and it’s safe to say – less is more. The bikini waxing investment has increased as has the surface area being removed.

Mind. Bring on the New Age Energy Healers. The cost for a therapist for many is non-negotiable. I, however, got sick of my own story long ago and signed off therapy and onto energy healing. When I need to clear my chakras, focus on the positive, and lighten up my thinking, I head for my Shaman.  I just visited her this week and my energy is flowing, my spirit is light and my fingers are racing over these keys – no way am I giving that investment up!

Nutrition. It costs to eat well. Everyone knows it’s easier to throw a steak on the grill and open a bag of chips. But fresh fruit, salads and veggie concoctions take time and energy and organic is expensive. My visits to the local farmers market and Whole Foods have increased my food bill substantially. If I can afford it, I am not ready to give this up. Plus, I feel better knowing I’m putting better quality energy into my body.

In the end – and despite the time suck (hair care can be two hours plus!) – I have to admit I look and feel better knowing my maintenance regime matters – and makes a difference in my overall attitude. Do I wish it could all be done with the swift ease of a magic wand? You betcha! And do I wish it could all be a tad cheaper? Yes. But if there’s one thing I know from being a BA50: There’s no price tag for feeling good. Plus, now when I go outside with my hair wet from the shower and head to the beach, I know for one, my gray isn’t showing, my nails look great, and my mind is clear. That is, until my next session’s litany of appointments.

BA50 Maintenance Regime – A Time/Money Suck was last modified: October 1st, 2012 by Felice Shapiro

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Felice Shapiro
Felice Shapiro

Felice Shapiro loves figuring out what's next. Felice writes with honesty and humor about real life events, romance, tragedy, reinvention and family not to mention — fashion, beauty & travel. As a serial entrepreneur in the publishing space, she launched Betterafter50.com to meet the needs of women entering their next phase at 50. Inspired and armed with her love of publishing, writing, start-ups and women’s issues, Shapiro launched an online magazine for 50-something women to share personal stories, successes and relevant issues. She is proud of BA50 which is in its 6th year and has over 7 million unique visitors.

3 Responses

  1. Lynne Kivimaki
    Lynne Reply

    Wow, I could have written this article myself. Not only does your hair turn gray but then it corkscrews and feels like the above mentioned Brillo pad. Ironically I could never get curls when I was younger–not even when I ate the crust of my bread, which my Mother assured me would get me curls. I have to admit I’m re-thinking my stylist though if you’re paying $260 in NYC and I’m paying $170 in the Midwest, but I will remain blonde until it looks obscene or I run out of money, whichever comes first.

    Ponds cold cream? I’ve spent more money on Lancome, Elizabeth Arden, Estee Lauder than I care to count. Does my skin look good for my age? Sure, except for the basal cell skin cancer I had removed from my forehead last week. Don’t forget to factor in the price of fake tanner now as well as SPF 1000 so I never have to go through that again! Maybe lilly white skin will come back in fashion?

    While I’ve never been to a therapist or a Shaman (not that I couldn’t use one, just have never gone), I do get a monthly massage to allow me to walk upright the rest of the month.

    The beauty of being older is that I can now afford the upkeep. I just choose not to add it all up on a monthly basis like Felice just did. As always, I tip my well maintained blonde tresses to her for her unflinching honesty!

  2. Chloe Jeffreys Reply

    I think that Cheryl Tiegs and Farrah Fawcett’s estate should at least have to pony up some percentage of the money I’m spending on maintenance. Isn’t it their fault that I chased their perfectly sun-kissed beauty while laying out for hours and hours on the beach slathered in baby oil mixed with iodine?

    Nobody told me that I’d wrinkle and get age spots.

    Okay. That’s a lie. My mother told me. But who listens to their mother???

    Besides, my mother didn’t care about my social life, and in Southern California, in the 70s, a decision to go tanless was a decision to eat lunch at the table with the Chess Club and sit alone on Saturday night.

    Of course, now I know that the members of the Chess Club all went on to start fabulous multi-bajillion dollar tech-companies, and most of the guys I broiled my skin for are now fat and balding, and still paying child-support.

    If I hear one more–and don’t they sound condescending when they say this?–woman tell me that I should learn to accept my aging and just go grey, I’m going to scream. My hair is not going to be that lovely waterfall of silver cascading down my back. Sorry. Like you, I’m a dirty blonde. Dirty blondes don’t go the “good grey”. Dirty blonde hair turns a horrid shade of ugly with the texture of brillo pad. No thank you.

    I noticed you left out the cost of the “cosmeceuticals”. I don’t know what your thoughts are about those, but once you start down that road you can kiss your retirement good-bye.

  3. Wendy Weiss Reply

    You asked yourself a really good question. What’s more, you actually answered it. You reviewed each issue- hairs, skin, nails, mental health, and their costs carefully.

    You might go a step further, if you are thinking about cutting back on spending. You can add up the costs for a year, and then think more carefully about these expenditures.

    Some older women need to cut spending back. Some others need to carefully cut down on some expenditures. So they have their manicure They color their hair, but put another week in between treatments so they have 1 or 2 less treatments a year.

    If you have credit card debt and want to reduce it, or push it to zero, you can cut back, until you have zero consumer debt. If you don’t have enough money saved for the next phase of your life, you can do the same. By contrast, if you are “well off” and financially secure, go for it. Wax until you are 90.

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