This Old Thing? When you wear it for the first time, and he asks if it's new, look slightly dismayed and reply, "I've worn this before and you never remember it....
As my friends choked on their wine in unrestrained merriment and I desperately searched my brain for how this might even be a SHRED of a compliment......
Is he a triathlete who starts every day with a kale smoothie and 37 vitamins, while you think a pitcher of coffee and a stale Krispy Kreme doughnut constitutes breakfast?...
You can wear red lipstick until you die of old age, and then take it with you to the afterlife. But you might consider softening the look at little....
Vikki Claflin is an international best-selling author, humor blogger, and inspirational public speaker. She lives in Hood River, OR, where she writes the award-winning humor blog Laugh Lines: Humorous Thoughts and Advice on How to Live Young When You're...well...Not, where she doles out irreverent advice on marriage, offers humorous how-to lists galore, and shares her most embarrassing midlife moments.
Vikki has been featured on the Michael J. Fox Foundation website, Erma Bombeck's Writer's Workshop, The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Midlife Boulevard, Better After 50, and Funny Times Magazine. She received a BlogHer14 "Voices of the Year" Humor award, and has been a featured guest on over 40 radio programs throughout the US and Canada.
Chin Hairs & Back Fat is Vikki's third book. Shake, Rattle & Roll With It: Living & Laughing with Parkinson's, and Who Left the Cork Out of My Lunch? Middle Age, Modern Marriage & Other Complications are all available at amazon.com. You can find more of Vikki’s writing at laugh-lines.net
