Julie Newburg


Boobs and The Single Lady

I have been the recipient of very practical advice since I’ve begun dating, on topics ranging from sexually-transmitted diseases over the age of 60 to how to weed out “catfishers” on Bumble. However, the most humbling advice was from a writing friend, who received it from one of her friends, likely passed down from other well-meaning single women. “Refrain from “being on top” when you have sex. Your boobs will take on a life of their own.” I have never really liked my boobs and this is just one more reason. If sex after 60 weren’t awkward enough, with all the aging body parts, I now needed to worry about smothering a man with my breasts....
Girl looking into mirror

The Only Time I Feel Pretty

The only time I really feel pretty is when I am looking in the small bathroom mirror from the shoulders up. There I can focus on just my top half, and I am pleased with what I see: a cute woman with still youthful features, a wide smile, warm brown eyes, and a nice décolletage.  Get me in front of a full-length mirror, staring back at the big picture, and I lose all perspective. My hips are too wide, my legs are too short, and my big breasts hang too damn low.  My face doesn't fit with my body, my hair is the wrong length, and everything looks mismatched. The gestalt of me is askew....

My Dog’s Spirit Animal

I was screaming at Siri who had conveniently decided to stop talking to me while I was lost on one of the busiest highways outside of Boston. That’s why I declined my daughter’s call when it came through the first time. When she immediately called back, All I heard was, “MOM DON'T HANG UP!” My first thought was I am such a bad mother that my daughter would actually say that to me. It was followed by my daughter’s hysterical sobbing, “Lucy ran away and may have been hit by a car....
Female feet on the scales with inscription help

The Lie That I Had To Face About Myself

There was absolutely no way I was going to state my weight in front of my husband, the pilot and 6 other passengers, but the truth was that I didn’t know what I weighed because I hadn’t stepped on a scale in two years. I was rattled because the stakes were so high. I needed to pick a number that was as large as I thought I looked because I didn’t want to bring the plane down....
Julie Newburg

Julie Newburg

Julie Newburg is a nonprofit executive and aspiring writer who lives north of Boston with her family.