Julie Newburg


Unexpected Triggers

That’s when I saw him testing out the recliner to my left. Salt and pepper hair, trendy silver frames, Levis, sexy. “A man with gray hair is now my type? When did that happen?” I thought to myself. “When did I start getting turned on by old guys?” I had a big LOL moment and checked him out for ring status, of which he wore none. My Uber was 3 minutes away. I briefly fantasized about how nice it would be to meet a man who thought gray hair was sexy too, so I would have the confidence to stop coloring mine. I wasn’t sure, but it felt like I would be narrowing the dating pool even further if I went au naturel. He was definitely my age and it was not fair that he could look so sexy with so little work. My Uber was 2 minutes away....

I Want a Dating Refund From Match.com

“I haven’t met too many women who I want to see again. But you…” he  wiggled his stubby little forefinger across the white cafe table..”you are special.” It could have been a Crossing Delancey moment, except he was not the dashing Pickle Man and I was no Amy Irving.  While I do dream about her curls and that cowboy hat, he was my exceedingly schleppy Match.com date and I was me. “You are a nice guy but I’m not sure there is a fit here for us.“ I said with unusual bravado. I was really trying to save time....
Julie Newburg

4 New On and Off Line Dating Rules After 60

“I’ll meet you halfway,” he proposed in a text.  I’m sure there is a Starbucks halfway between Tewksbury and where you live.” Where the hell is Tewksbury? I thought.  NO. I am not driving halfway to f**king Tewskbury in the middle of winter, to meet some nerdy guy, who I don’t even know. Is this what my life has come to? Traveling to the ends of the earth, in search of love. BIG NO. Maybe I need to take a break from online dating, even if it’s February, always a double whammy for me: Valentine's Day and my birthday. In celebration, perhaps this February I will give myself the gift of a few new dating rules....

Boobs and The Single Lady

I have been the recipient of very practical advice since I’ve begun dating, on topics ranging from sexually-transmitted diseases over the age of 60 to how to weed out “catfishers” on Bumble. However, the most humbling advice was from a writing friend, who received it from one of her friends, likely passed down from other well-meaning single women. “Refrain from “being on top” when you have sex. Your boobs will take on a life of their own.” I have never really liked my boobs and this is just one more reason. If sex after 60 weren’t awkward enough, with all the aging body parts, I now needed to worry about smothering a man with my breasts....
Girl looking into mirror

The Only Time I Feel Pretty

The only time I really feel pretty is when I am looking in the small bathroom mirror from the shoulders up. There I can focus on just my top half, and I am pleased with what I see: a cute woman with still youthful features, a wide smile, warm brown eyes, and a nice décolletage.  Get me in front of a full-length mirror, staring back at the big picture, and I lose all perspective. My hips are too wide, my legs are too short, and my big breasts hang too damn low.  My face doesn't fit with my body, my hair is the wrong length, and everything looks mismatched. The gestalt of me is askew....

My Dog’s Spirit Animal

I was screaming at Siri who had conveniently decided to stop talking to me while I was lost on one of the busiest highways outside of Boston. That’s why I declined my daughter’s call when it came through the first time. When she immediately called back, All I heard was, “MOM DON'T HANG UP!” My first thought was I am such a bad mother that my daughter would actually say that to me. It was followed by my daughter’s hysterical sobbing, “Lucy ran away and may have been hit by a car....
Female feet on the scales with inscription help

The Lie That I Had To Face About Myself

There was absolutely no way I was going to state my weight in front of my husband, the pilot and 6 other passengers, but the truth was that I didn’t know what I weighed because I hadn’t stepped on a scale in two years. I was rattled because the stakes were so high. I needed to pick a number that was as large as I thought I looked because I didn’t want to bring the plane down....
Julie Newburg

Julie Newburg

Julie Newburg is a nonprofit executive and aspiring writer who lives north of Boston with her family.