Ginny Poleman

Ginny Poleman

“You Are Loved, Damnit!” A Lesson From The Universe For This Single DivorcĂ©e

Ginny Poleman
Last month, I borrowed my ex-husband’s car to visit my son, daughter-in-law, and their little guy (read about becoming a grandmother here). As soon as I arrived at the parking garage, the attendant said, “I’m sorry, but the car’s dead.” My ex immediately answered the phone when I called, arranged for a jump, and said, “call me along the way.” He called me while I was driving, “everything okay? Call me when you get there.” Pleased that he was concerned, I thought he was being dramatic. “I fine. I’m will.” But I never got there. The car wouldn’t restart at the rest stop forty-five minutes from my destination. My ex gave me the info I needed to get the car on the road again and where to drop it off. “Call me if you have any problems.” My bestie, Sonia, sat on the phone with me until the car service showed up. Finally, on my way back into the city, I held my breath, clenched my butt cheeks, and drove the ninety-minute ride feeling sorry for myself. I missed feeling taken care of by my husband like he did so many years ago. I knew I didn’t want to be married to him, but then damnit, why am I crying?...
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Ginny Poleman

“More of THAT, Please.” An Exercise in Manifesting the Perfect Guy for Me

Ginny Poleman
I recently discovered a dating coach on social media who put out a challenge — a kind of manifestation. She said, “instead of being discouraged by the stupid shit men do [my words, not verbatim from the dating coach], focus on the behaviors you like, and say to the Universe ‘Yes, please! More of THAT!’” I liked this idea of giving a thumbs-up on what worked instead of kvetching on the negative. Too many times I’ve shaken my head feeling discouraged, frustrated, and sometimes, downright pissy about dating. For example, texting with obtuse men like Michael on dating apps. Michael: How’s your day so far babe? Me: Good! Thanks. Isn’t it a bit premature to use “babe” before we’ve even met? 😉 Michael: Babe, it’s nothing. It’s just a name to show how much I appreciate you. Well, I hope you appreciate this, Michael: *Unmatch.* Oh Universe? No more pet names, please....
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Are You Married? Stop Saying These Things to Me about Dating

Ginny Poleman
There’s a scene in the Sex in the City reboot, And Just Like That, where Carrie and her new, career-driven, 50+, single friend, Seema talk about dating. Carrie says, “I think it’s great that you’re still putting yourself out there.” Ugh. Seema points out the insensitivity by saying, “you found the love of your life and had him for many years. And in my eyes, that is something worth still putting myself out there.” Like Seema, since my divorce, well-meaning but oblivious married friends and family say things that make me want to say, “f##k off.”...
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A Love/Hate Relationship with My Breasts

Ginny Poleman
“After 50 years old, you should never have sex on top,” my girlfriend quoted her mother. “Why not?” I cried out. “I love it on top!” “I know, but Mom preached, ‘You don’t want your big old breasts hanging in his face,’” she said wagging her scolding finger. I hadn’t really visualized what my “girls” might look like from HIS perspective. It occurred to me that if I hovered over his face low enough, I could probably smother him to death with my bottom-heavy, pendulous pillows. Always looking for a solution to continue to do what feels good, I asked, “What if I wore a pretty bra?”...
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Ginny Poleman

How Finding Three Moments of Joy A Day Gave Me A Lift—A New Year Reminder

Ginny Poleman
I liked the idea of moving throughout my day from joy to joy.....Since my divorce, my life is so different from those days when my calendar was full with after-school activities and my husband’s work events. Now, instead of rushing the kids off to school, my mornings are similar to Susan’s with her morning coffee and newspaper, except I wake up looking forward to my favorite smoothie: chocolate flavored protein powder with a banana and sugar-free sunflower butter—a healthy, morning treat that tastes like dessert........
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Ginny Poleman

Ginny Poleman

Ginny Poleman spends her time giving in-person walking tours and webinars about NYC history; leads school tours at the Metropolitan Museum Art; and goes on cool dates in cozy lounges and retro bars. She also works on her young adult novels. Follow her adventures on Instagram @ginnyinprogress, and her tour business @NYC.Encounters.