Weeks after my husband moved out of the family house, I pumped gas at the gas station while talking to my mother on the phone.
“I can’t produce saliva, I’ve ...
I held my breath waiting for him to cancel again. This was our second time around as a couple.
That first time we met; he was one of only two men that I grab...
I’m sending out a blanket apology to anyone who listened to my advice when I was twenty-five. I’m so sorry, I was an idiot.
My friend Sonia recently reminded me that she got married because of me. I had no recollection of any profound words.
We thought, how many bad marriages could have been avoided if people didn’t listen to our shitty WISDOM?
...
I admit. I saw the red flags.
While on the dating apps, I’ve developed a keen radar for identifying the scams, middle-aged fuckboys, lonely losers, and below...
One Saturday afternoon in January 2018, I was taking a selfie in front of a Robert Indiana LOVE sculpture in a Chelsea gallery when my friend Nancy called.
“...
After four years and 158 days of separation, my attorney’s office sent this anti-climactic and business-like email:
“We received a certified copy of the Judgme...
My gynecologist stood up from between the stirrups, peeled off her surgical gloves with a snap, and said, “you have a loss of vulvar architecture.”
“Pardon me?”
“Post-menopausal women commonly lose physical definition of the vulva,” she said.
Is this something ELSE I need to maintain? I can’t exercise my vulva like I do my ass to keep it lifted off the back of my thighs. Can I?
Thankfully I can’t see my vulva in the 10X magnification mirror—...
Over the years, every time I grew my hair, cut it off, got highlights, or went blond, my husband said, “don’t change your hair.” I did it anyway. Then he’d get used to the new style, and would once again request not to change it.
Except when he stopped noticing. Then I stopped changing....
The night before my birthday, one month after my husband moved out, I had been distraught with grief. While sobbing, I asked out loud, “What is he thinking?”
...
When I left the coffee shop with Jonathan, I had reached that moment on the date when I had to make a decision: how would I graciously end this?
We had matched on Bumble. We’d both attended Cornell and knew some of the same people. Before we met, we had a hilarious phone conversation. I had looked forward to the date, but when we met, he wasn’t exactly what I expected. He was overwhelmingly big in personality…and underwhelming in stature....
I walked into the swanky hotel lobby bar dressed in black jeans, black shear blouse, black boots, and my favorite red shearling coat, furry side out. It was a ‘look at me’ outfit. I felt like Carrie Bradshaw.
“Where do you live?” I asked, covering the ubiquitous ‘get-to-know-you’ questions.
“Chelsea, but you’ll never see the inside of my place,” he gibed....
Last Saturday with no plans, I reserved a timed entry for one person to the Whitney Museum of Art and headed downtown. I plugged my earbuds in listening to the museum’s audio guide, and took my time revisiting my favorites and appreciating some new works of art. No one interrupted, distracted, or expected anything of me. My skin tingled with inspiration, as my heart rate slowed. My feet floated through the galleries, while my spirit was grounded....
I thought he loved me. He’d answer my call with a “be there in 30” no matter where he was. He gave me time and attention. I knew I was a lucky girl. I held onto him. How many women could say that about their plumber?...
When my friend asked if I wanted to go downtown with her to get a massage, I texted, “I love massages!”
“It’s cheap. Only $65,” she added.
The address lea...
I sat at a table in a conference room in a mid-town Manhattan office building, surrounded by six strangers who were executing a transaction that would affect my...
Since our separation, my soon-to-be ex-husband of thirty years and I have spent the holidays together with our young adult children. I rationalized that handling a little discomfort for a couple of days of celebrating together was far better than the heartache of feeling left out. Normally, it’s been fine for a day or two with all the extended family around, but this Christmas, due to Covid, there would be no big gatherings, just the five of us—me, my ex, my daughter, my son and his wife.
And this year, it wasn’t just two days, unexpectedly it turned into ten....
Imagine three years ago, the effort of fake joy I had to project while we opened gifts around the Christmas tree with our young-adult children and only my husba...
My twenty-four year-old son stood in front of me and said, “I’m going to propose to Sara.”
Of course I was excited for him. I loved Sara and they loved each other. But in my head I yelled, “nooooooo. I’m not ready!” I was okay with my son getting married, but I wasn’t ready to witness the beginning of his marriage so close to the end of my own. It was just six weeks earlier that his dad and I had agreed to divorce....
“I want a new winter coat,” I said to my friend in the fashion business while visiting her in London. “Maybe in a color,” I added. I was newly separated, single...
I tried to keep my eyes on the puzzle but I couldn’t help observing my daughter—now a young woman—gaze at her lover. People say she looks like me with her turned up nose and heart-shaped face, but her coloring is all her dad’s side of the family: deep, deep auburn hair; creamy porcelain skin with a smattering of peachy freckles; and light colored eyes—one blue, one light brown. The soft light of the fire danced across her face, illuminating her happiness....
Before #StayAtHome, Ginny Poleman spent her time giving walking tours in Manhattan, leading school tours at the Metropolitan Museum Art, and going on cool dates in cozy lounges and cool retro bars. Follow her adventures on Instagram @ginnyinprogress, and her virtual tours of NYC @NYC.Encounters.
