beachLong Gone: ¬†the formal looking wedding announcements that used to arrive weeks after the engagement, courtesy of the bride’s family (dead, circa 1980).

Gone also:  the postcard date-holders with casual looks and colors, and maybe even a photo (dead, circa 2000 ).

Now: we’re receiving – and possibly embracing ???- a new wave of wedding websites and over-the-top video announcements. ¬†Have you ever received an electronic wedding announcement that does way more than ask you to save the date? If so, maybe you also let your imagination go to the future of this newish protocol. If not, join me on my way there…

“Did you see this from Noah and Shelley?” (my girlfriend)

“Ah… not yet.” (me)

“It’s so great – look at it!” (iPhone stuck in my face)

The wedding announcement, a video, features the happy couple on the move together in four seasons: skiing in Chamonix; vacationing in Bali; hanging out on Nantucket; hiking in Vermont on a trail overlooking the green mountains, splashed with red, yellow and orange.

My two friends are nuzzling each other, kissing, holding hands and laughing to an original soundtrack written,¬†just for them, we learn, by his childhood friend¬†Justin¬†Timberlake.¬†And that’s just for appetizers.

Next we hear Justin and his friend Jimmy (Fallon) kibitzing about the lucky couple while they frolick in the waves of their own happiness in a parade of posed stills in various settings, cozy and sublime.

I’m impressed, of course. But more profoundly, I’m¬†depressed.

“That’s something,” I manage to exhale.

My girlfriend repos her phone and begins furiously texting.

“Are you texting them?”¬†I ask.

“Just sending the link to a few people.”

“Oh – who – your parents?”

“No! A few friends…”

“Ah… Do you think that’s such a good idea?”

“This is so awesome!”

“For Noah and Shelley, yah… Are these friends that know them?”

“Of course not – these are¬†my¬†friends!”

“And the purpose of sending Noah’s announcement to people who don’t know them is…?”

“They’ll love it. Everyone will want to share it – how can anyone top this!¬†They’re all gonna die.”

“My point.”

“Noah, WTF? Aren’t you¬†happy¬†for them!”

“For¬†them…¬†I feel like – you know – depressed by the need for this kind of thing.”

“OMG – Grow up! What’s wrong with you – did you expect them to¬†call you up?”

“Why not! They are old friends.”

“Sometimes I don’t know how we can share a life together.”

“Together with each other? Or with the entire world?”


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