“Forward and a little to left…That’s great. Uh huh, a little more forward. Perfect.” This was not sex talk. Mike and I were pulling up anchor in a very crowded anchorage. It was a little tense. The wind was “blowing like stink,” as the cruisers like to say.
“Roger that,” I tell him. “Do you see…”
“Yes, I see the Tayana.”
Ten feet off the bow, Mike waved to the guy standing on the stern of the Tayana, letting him know we saw him. He was nervously watching, ready to grab a fender. “Good morning,” Mike said to him, most likely forcing a smile and a calm demeanor, “Beautiful boat!” (Because it was). And to me, 49 feet behind him, he whispered, “Bow thrusters on and kick it to starboard. Now reverse. Give her some gas. Okay, we’re up. Let’s get out of here.”
“I really got to get me a pair of those,” the guy on the Tayana said to Mike as we began to veer away. He was referring to the walky talky wireless headsets Mike and I were wearing to communicate.
“Marriage Savers,” Mike noted.
The moniker “Marriage Savers” for these bluetooth walky talky headsets is perfect. They allow spouses to communicate clearly with each other in a calm and efficient manner, even with background noise. Delay or misunderstanding, which we all know can lead to anger, blame, no sex for a month, divorce, that kind of thing, are problems of the past.
With Marriage Savers, there are no raised voices, no urgency, no miscommunications. Screw ups averted. Blame unnecessary. Marriage strong.
Mike and I are rarely more than 49 feet apart. We can hear every burp and fart and stomach rumbling, so miscommunication is rare. We don’t need to use the Marriage Savers other than when anchoring in a crowded harbor or when one of us is 63 feet up the mast.
But as always, I am thinking of my friends, and of home.
What if spouses wore wireless headsets all the time?
What if you could communicate with your spouse when you are upstairs in your bedroom, and he was in the basement, with no yelling? What if there were no more communication mishaps? What if you could put an end to selective hearing?
I am thinking these little devices might come in handy to save the landlubber marriage, especially throughout middle age…and just think of the applications for elderly couples, even while sitting next to each other on the couch!
No more, “sorry, I didn’t hear you.” No more, “I didn’t understand.” No more, “I didn’t know you wanted that.” No more raised voices. No more frustration, no more anger…
“Honey, where are you now?”
“In the basement.”
“While you are there, could you bring up a package of lightbulbs?”
“Sure thing, honey, 60 watt or 100?”
“Honey, where are you now?”
“I’m in the kitchen.”
“Awesome. Would you mind bringing me a bowl of frozen yogurt? Do you copy?”
“Copy that. Cookies and cream or peanut butter?”
“Honey, we’re going to be late. What’s going on?”
“I look fat.”
“You look very skinny. You are skinny and beautiful. And your hair looks nice too.”
“Bull shit, you can’t even see me.”
“Duh. I’ll be waiting patiently in the car.”
“Honey, I’m in the basement. Why did I go down there?”
“Over and out.”
“Honey where are you?”
“I’m on the toilet.”
“It’s been an awfully long time.”
“I’m taking these damn headsets off.”
For the couple that has everything and still wants to stay together….Marriage Savers. Think about it.