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Woman relaxing

Licensed to Chill

So far, my retirement has been a series of experiments.  Am I happy with the results?  Well, I’ve eliminated a lot of stress from my life, but also some of its excitement and challenge.  Liberated from the demands of work, I’m free to find new arenas and venues where I can explore and possibly master new skills.  Although it is a cliché, I do feel I’ve had to find new meaning and purpose to my existence.  That is the current challenge.  On the plus side......
Mother and daughter in field

My Daughters and Me…Next Phase

The mother-daughter bond can sometimes feel close to telepathic, like high alert empathy that’s super sensitive not just to the words but the pitch and the tone of the words being said. For better or worse a raised eyebrow or a deep exhale is decoded immediately. The biggest lesson I’ve learned after decades at this mothering thing is that my worth increases with every word I don’t say. If one of us suggests a new spice…or TV show…or bra, we’re all in. When returning from a trip, we each unpack and go through the mail the first hour we arrive home. We are all currently obsessed with Jeremy Allen White, star of The Bear. Nature? Nurture? Who knows. It’s just kind of lovely. Playing the cancer card (I think it’s legal to accept any perks that come along with that prognosis) they agreed to joining me on a three-day getaway in the Berkshires,...
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Going Gray Affecting Ageism In Workplace? Listen To Lisa LaFlamme’s Farewell To Her Viewers.

During Covid isolation gray hair was trending and rather than the fashion magazines of Madison Avenue setting the hair styling rules of the road, the women have spoken.  The letting go of the coloring and bleaching cycles have given way to a freer and easier look which embraces aging and now the magazines are supporting this shift with women over 50 looking gorgeous with silver hair on their covers.  But what about how gray haired women are viewed in the workplace? When letting the hair go gray affects one's work that is a much much bigger choice. ...
Ginny Poleman

“More of THAT, Please.” An Exercise in Manifesting the Perfect Guy for Me

I recently discovered a dating coach on social media who put out a challenge — a kind of manifestation. She said, “instead of being discouraged by the stupid shit men do [my words, not verbatim from the dating coach], focus on the behaviors you like, and say to the Universe ‘Yes, please! More of THAT!’” I liked this idea of giving a thumbs-up on what worked instead of kvetching on the negative. Too many times I’ve shaken my head feeling discouraged, frustrated, and sometimes, downright pissy about dating. For example, texting with obtuse men like Michael on dating apps. Michael: How’s your day so far babe? Me: Good! Thanks. Isn’t it a bit premature to use “babe” before we’ve even met? 😉 Michael: Babe, it’s nothing. It’s just a name to show how much I appreciate you. Well, I hope you appreciate this, Michael: *Unmatch.* Oh Universe? No more pet names, please....

Featured on Relationship Thursday

Mother and daughter in field

My Daughters and Me…Next Phase

The mother-daughter bond can sometimes feel close to telepathic, like high alert empathy that’s super sensitive not just to the words but the pitch and the tone of the words being said. For better or worse a raised eyebrow or a deep exhale is decoded immediately. The biggest lesson I’ve learned after decades at this mothering thing is that my worth increases with every word I don’t say. If one of us suggests a new spice…or TV show…or bra, we’re all in. When returning from a trip, we each unpack and go through the mail the first hour we arrive home. We are all currently obsessed with Jeremy Allen White, star of The Bear. Nature? Nurture? Who knows. It’s just kind of lovely. Playing the cancer card (I think it’s legal to accept any perks that come along with that prognosis) they agreed to joining me on a three-day getaway in the Berkshires,...

Sleep Divorce: Can’t Sleep with Him…..Can’t Kill Him

I'm considering Sleep Divorce....It’s three a.m. and the mass lying on its back next to me is emitting unearthly sounds. I awaken, surfacing from a dream in which I’ve tried to weave the snorts, rasps, whistles, and jagged breathing into the plot. Clad only in a polka-dotted bikini, I’d been floating through a field of daisies towards Freddy, my third-grade boyfriend, while my husband lay serenely unbothered by his own tortured cacophony. I love my husband. We spoon perfectly, taking comfort in one another’s warm, pliant presence. Randy and I watch TV shows and tennis tournaments in bed, snuggled with our small mutt Zadie, all of us munching popcorn. Awake, we’re blissful. But turn off the lights, shut off the electronics, and we join the ranks of couples contemplating divorce. Sleep divorce, that is....

Are You Married? Stop Saying These Things to Me about Dating

There’s a scene in the Sex in the City reboot, And Just Like That, where Carrie and her new, career-driven, 50+, single friend, Seema talk about dating. Carrie says, “I think it’s great that you’re still putting yourself out there.” Ugh. Seema points out the insensitivity by saying, “you found the love of your life and had him for many years. And in my eyes, that is something worth still putting myself out there.” Like Seema, since my divorce, well-meaning but oblivious married friends and family say things that make me want to say, “f##k off.”...
Woman using dating app on the phone

Relationship Therapy: 6 Best Apps to Strengthen Sexual Relationships And More

According to People.com ....Dating apps are de rigueur for finding potential partners now, but using apps once you're in a relationship hasn't been quite as commonplace. Usually, we'd be thrilled about that — more face time, less FaceTime, please — but then came 2020. Dr. Britney Blair, a clinical psychologist and co-founder of sexual wellness app Lover, isn’t surprised by the transition. “Everything is digitized, and especially [during the pandemic] it saves you a trip to the doctor’s office,” says Blair, who adds, “Sex therapy, especially, can be time-consuming and expensive.” Read more on People.com...

Featured on Fashion Friday

Boots

Shit Kickers and Western Hipster Boots For Fall 2022

Shit Kickers and sturdy western style boots are killer. I'm obsessed with this western style sturdy walkable boot and the look sold on the LL Bean and Frye sites.  These boots all look great with jeans, skirts and yoga pants and they go from snow to rain to dinner. Personally, they make me feel forever young, maybe because I wore them in Boulder, Colorado for a few years in my teens. Whenever I need boots I love this look.  The best thing about these boots is they have big toe beds. They are way easier to wear than shoes for our aging feet. Check out these boots from LL Bean and Frye that are my personal favorites....