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Saying Yes To Separate Marital Bed Responses Blew My Mind…What Did You Think?

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Our Friend Has Died

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Is Anything Normal About “Normal Marital Hatred”?

Karla Araujo
On June 27, 2022, the New York Times reassured me that the moments I want to attack my kind, mild-mannered husband with a meat cleaver are completely normal. Three months later, the Washington Post also sanctioned these instances of partner loathing, quoting family therapist and author Terrence Real, the creator/proponent of “Normal Marital Hatred,” who says, “Real marriage comes the day you realize that this person is exquisitely designed to stick the burning spear into your eyeball.” Mr. Real goes on to explain that no one acknowledges the “underbelly” of relationships. He postulates that there are moments when you look at your partner and hate their guts. Wait, Terrence, have you been hiding in marital closets across America?...
Featured ArticlesHealthy MondayHumorMarriedRelationships0 Comments208 views 0
Low alcohol beer

How Low Alcohol Beer Finally Made Me Cool

Delia Lloyd
Little did I know that I was setting a trend. Over the past decade, NAB sales have climbed 90%. With the rise of the wellness movement, younger people don't want to consume as much alcohol anymore, and old-timers like me lack the tolerance to do so. Needless to say, with this rising demand for no- or low-alcohol alternatives, the taste, quality, and variety of the offerings have exploded as well. As I started reading article after article about the rising appeal of NABLAB, I thought, Wow! I'm really onto something. So quite possibly for the first time in my adult life, I now cool....
Featured ArticlesHealthy Monday0 Comments80 views 0
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5 Keys To Breaking Generational Patterns

Robin Stevens Payes
Looking closely at my grandparents’ story, I could see the ways that their fear had been passed down to my mother. While they never discussed stories of the “old country” or the dangers they escaped, my mother had learned this survival lesson: success meant fitting in. I began seeing the ways in which I had inherited it, too. I grew up walking on eggshells, worried that my mother might sulk if I didn’t live up to her expectations. When my brother chose his own path, my mother renounced him. Meanwhile, I shaped my life to be the child who would make her proud. In grappling with my own multi-generational trauma, I began asking myself, how do we examine these negative patterns and break them?...
Featured ArticlesHealthy Monday0 Comments68 views 0
separate bedrooms

Marriage, Everlasting in Separate Bedrooms

Marcia Byalick
Revealing the fact that Bob and I, after over 50 years of marriage, now sleep in two different rooms? I wasn’t ready…until now. Sarah Jessica Parker, Victoria Beckham, Catherine Zeta Jones, not to mention the Queen… they all came out with it The New York Times recently did a story on homebuilders who saw increased demand for homes with two main bedrooms. The Better Sleep Council notes 26% of married couples report sleeping more soundly when they’re alone in a bed. And follow up studies show getting a healthy night’s sleep may be one of the single best things you can do for your relationship. Yet we believe happy couples sleep in the same bed and unhappy ones don’t. When we hear that a couple sleeps in separate rooms we immediately assume their relationship is in trouble. Committed couples, they say, just work out the windows-open-vs-closed thing…the light-on thing…the sleep apnea thing…the TV-on thing…the going-to-the-bathroom-three-times-a-night thing…the-pulling-the-covers thing…and the insomnia thing. With the wisdom that comes with age, I no longer have to bow to whatever the super judgy ”they” say. ...
Featured ArticlesMarried0 Comments465 views 1
Kayaking in New Zealand

Amazing Affordable & Athletic New Zealand in 2 Weeks

felice
Kia Ora (good day) to you all. I am writing this piece after wrapping up our 14 day group South Island tour of Otearoa (New Zealand) -- which means the land of the long white cloud in Māori. It's hard to write about a 14 day trip that covered 2,000 miles of driving, 100 miles of hiking and 30 miles of kayaking and biking, 7 different accommodations and 40 meals in a short post but I'm going to try. There are so many ways to experience New Zealand and my husband and I decided we wanted to be immersed in nature, travel with a small group and use a local tour company. We signed on for a 2 week road trip, staying in "moderate" accommodations, with a physically challenging itinerary and hiking level. That said, the magic ingredients of a successful trip include research first and foremost but, no amount of research can guarantee a great trip.  Travel requires optimism, a positive attitude, faith and luck. Our trip to New Zealand was amazing for all those reasons, some in our control. Bill and I were thinking about which of our friends would enjoy this trip and as much as we loved our 2 week adventure …it is not for everyone. Here’s why…....
Featured ArticlesFelice's BlogHealthy MondayTravel0 Comments408 views 1

Featured on Relationship Thursday

Saying Yes To Separate Marital Bed Responses Blew My Mind…What Did You Think?

felice
I was blown away by the response to the post we published last week on BA50, Marcia Byalick's "Marriage Everlasting In Separate Bedrooms." The post literally went viral. There have been 60K views on our BA50 Instagram and BA50 Facebook  and the comments poured in... including a rousing... The honesty of our readers' comments were fascinating with so many sharing their own sleep arrangements both separate and not.  I wanted to share some of my thoughts on this topic and am inviting you all to share yours as well. I truly was surprised and curious to learn more when I read the comments by so  many who were also happier in separate bedrooms and still have healthy marriages.  This was news to me and struck a chord as well.  First of all, there is the judgement piece.  There are many topics about our marriages that we prefer not to share because who wants to be judged, so I was thrilled Marcia took on this topic. And, the truth is, I learned from this post....
Featured ArticlesFelice's BlogHealthy MondayMarriedRelationships0 Comments692 views 0
Lynn Walsh

Our Friend Has Died

Lynn Walsh
It’s been almost two months since my friend Tommy fell to the floor at his friend’s house in Milton, Delaware and suffered a fatal heart attack. What began as a typical evening of socializing among these transplanted Delawareans turned deadly in a split second. Hardly the picture of health- Tommy was overweight, a smoker; nevertheless, no one expected death to strike so suddenly and violently. At age 63, Tommy was just a year older than me, making him my first contemporary to pass. And leaving me unsettled in ways I am trying to comprehend. Countless others have written volumes about death and loss and grief far more eloquently than I, and yet the questions remain. How do we get past the grief: mine, ours, Janet’s? I tell myself what I tell my suffering patients: There is no way around grief, only through it. Navigating this level of loss means something different to every person experiencing it. For me, I will begin by remembering Tommy, his antics, and his goodness, and I will say his name. I will remind myself and Janet that grief is not linear, nor is it predictable. It is indiscriminate in its assaults. ...
Featured ArticlesFriendsHealthy MondayLossRelationships0 Comments321 views 13

Is Anything Normal About “Normal Marital Hatred”?

Karla Araujo
On June 27, 2022, the New York Times reassured me that the moments I want to attack my kind, mild-mannered husband with a meat cleaver are completely normal. Three months later, the Washington Post also sanctioned these instances of partner loathing, quoting family therapist and author Terrence Real, the creator/proponent of “Normal Marital Hatred,” who says, “Real marriage comes the day you realize that this person is exquisitely designed to stick the burning spear into your eyeball.” Mr. Real goes on to explain that no one acknowledges the “underbelly” of relationships. He postulates that there are moments when you look at your partner and hate their guts. Wait, Terrence, have you been hiding in marital closets across America?...
Featured ArticlesHealthy MondayHumorMarriedRelationships0 Comments208 views 0
separate bedrooms

Marriage, Everlasting in Separate Bedrooms

Marcia Byalick
Revealing the fact that Bob and I, after over 50 years of marriage, now sleep in two different rooms? I wasn’t ready…until now. Sarah Jessica Parker, Victoria Beckham, Catherine Zeta Jones, not to mention the Queen… they all came out with it The New York Times recently did a story on homebuilders who saw increased demand for homes with two main bedrooms. The Better Sleep Council notes 26% of married couples report sleeping more soundly when they’re alone in a bed. And follow up studies show getting a healthy night’s sleep may be one of the single best things you can do for your relationship. Yet we believe happy couples sleep in the same bed and unhappy ones don’t. When we hear that a couple sleeps in separate rooms we immediately assume their relationship is in trouble. Committed couples, they say, just work out the windows-open-vs-closed thing…the light-on thing…the sleep apnea thing…the TV-on thing…the going-to-the-bathroom-three-times-a-night thing…the-pulling-the-covers thing…and the insomnia thing. With the wisdom that comes with age, I no longer have to bow to whatever the super judgy ”they” say. ...
Featured ArticlesMarried0 Comments465 views 1

Featured on Fashion Friday