worthyWhen do you feel worthy? Is it all the time? For me the answer is no, not always.

But I want to. I feel most worthy usually when I finish something, or help and mentor someone, but I ask myself why do I only get the feeling when I reach the end of a project or endeavor, why not during? Can feeling worthy be an everyday sort of feeling?

Well, I think it should be. I think if you can capture the power of feeling worthy on an everyday basis, you just add a bounce to your step, you can feel confident and self assured. The idea of feeling grateful and having gratitude builds your personal happiness, so then why not build your own worthiness in small doses, in little steps and make yourself feel good and build your confidence along the way.

Identify what you want to accomplish – For me that is moving on past my terrible, horrible divorce and getting back to work at age 46 to support myself and my 2 kids.

Set a goal and then break it down into small achievements, then divide it again and give yourself doable chunks that are not overwhelming – My goal was to find a paying job, so breaking it down into small steps along the way really helped me stay motivated and gave me the confidence to continue. First was telling people and beginning to network and spread the word I was looking, a good Step 1, did that, it just felt good to tell my new neighbors and new parents I met at my kids new school. Step 2 – create a LinkedIn page — I called in a lifeline from my sister create my profile. After a bunch more small steps, I landed a job. But it was the small steps along the way that boosted my confidence and made me feel worthy everyday and feel good about myself.

Celebrate the small wins – Acknowledging the small wins helped create a feeling I can keep going and do this during the 4 months it took me to find a job. I celebrated with getting a new haircut and new lipstick when I created my profile picture and I celebrated practicing interviewing with friends with lattes at the local coffee shop. I even celebrated when I sold my old diamond engagement ring and bought two new work outfits – it felt so good to have brand new adult business clothing to go on interviews – definitely a confidence boost. I was celebrating me!

Listen more actively – I listened to learn and understand from friends more on how to manage juggling my day better, so packing the kids lunches quickly was a skill I needed to figure out fast and I got some great tips by enlisting and listening to my kids to help! A big win in the morning, really big win!

Its ok to get it wrong and try again – Don’t be overly critical of yourself, you made a mistake. Recognize it, you may not even have to tell others about it, just know it yourself and move on and do it again. I wrote and rewrote a thank you email for a job interview, and even with all the spell checks, I found a typo, a double word, repeated twice. I had already hit send. Ugh, a mistake, what would they think, I sweated it out; two days later I was invited back in to meet the team.

Praise others – I found this made me feel really great to thank people for helping me out. I praised my daughter for helping to make her own lunch each morning and thanked her for making the mornings run much more smoothly.

Do what you love – Doing what you love makes you feel good, builds confidence. Being worthy does not mean being perfect, it means being happy.

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