Sandy Weiner
Have you ever had a horrible first date? If you’re like most women, the answer will be yes. He looks nothing like his profile picture. He’s 50 pounds heavier, ten years older, or five inches shorter than he wrote in his profile. You can’t wait for the date to end.
If you notice any of the following 7 signs on a first date, chances are your date is not yet ready to be in a relationship. Or he just may be the wrong guy for you. Keep your eyes open for these turnoffs. And if you’re guilty of any yourself, making a few little tweaks could change your status from “single” to “in a relationship”.
7 Biggest Turnoffs on a First Date
1. Bitter Bob. A guy who spews bitterness towards his ex and blames her for his misery is a huge turnoff. Why would you want to date a victim? It’s draining. And be sure not to talk much about your ex on a first or second date either. If he asks why your marriage ended, keep your answer short and switch to a different topic. You can say something like, “We tried to work things out in therapy, but we grew apart. I’m much more interested in learning about you.”
2. Insecure Ira. When a person has low self-esteem, they are less attractive. It’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t feel good about him/herself. Confidence is sexy. That’s why it’s important to increase your own self-esteem before dating. It doesn’t really matter how young or thin look. What matters most is what’s inside. With confidence, you become magnetic to your ideal match.
3. Fake Fred. A man who’s trying to be someone he’s not is a big turnoff. Keep it real, fellas. Don’t inflate your ego, your income, your height, or anything else. We’d much rather know the truth than be in a relationship with a poser. Same goes for you ladies. Get comfortable with the real you. The right guy will be attracted to your best self.
4. Bad Hygiene Harry. A scruffy beard, bad haircut, sloppy dresser, body odor, and bad breath all fall into this category. Guys, please make an effort. Don’t you want to make the best impression on a first date? Please don’t show up on a first date looking like something the cat dragged in. We want to know that you care enough to look and act your best. And ladies, if your wardrobe hasn’t been updated in years, ask a fashionable friend to help you pick out some great date outfits. You want to look and feel your best.
5. Chatty Charlie. You know the guy who talks through the entire date? He toots his own horn, touts his accomplishments, and doesn’t ask much about you. A relationship involves give and take between two people. Guys, make sure you ask her questions and listen to her responses. Ladies, if you’re nervous on a first date, you might talk too much. Make sure to ask him questions and listen to his answers, too. If he talks too much, you can gently interrupt and give your opinion. Chances are, he’s just nervous, too.
6. Bland Bert. If you’re checking the clock after the first twenty minutes, it’s a bad sign. You know the guy who is repeating stories on the first date? Yikes. One of the core areas of compatibility is personality. If he’s boring to you on the first date, chances are he’ll be boring on the second date. And be sure to bring your most interesting self to every date. A good man wants to know that you have opinions and a vibrant life.
7. Controlling Clinton. You’re on your first date, and he tells you how you need to change something about yourself. He criticizes you. He corrects your grammar. He has to be right and makes you wrong. This guy wants to control you. Run for the hills!
So remember to go on every first date with your eyes wide open. If you notice any warning signs, check in with your gut. If it feels like a deal breaker, it probably is. But if you had fun on the date, you believe he has compatible values and goals, and he’s basically a good guy who made a little mistake or two, cut him a break and go on a second date. There are countless couples who couldn’t stand each other on a first date, but on date two, they began to fall in love.
What was your worst first date ever? Please share your bad date story in the comments below. Better yet, if you have a story of a bad date that turned into a love story, I’d love to hear!
~~~~~
For a copy of my FREE report, “The Top Three Mistakes Midlife Daters Make (and how to turn them around to find love now)” please click here.
‘Like’ my Facebook page for exciting posts on dating and relationships & links to my weekly radio show.