Human beings are social creatures and as such we interact with other humans in more ways than most of us would possibly imagine. We look up to other people in our environment and compare our life with what we see in others. It’s not a bad thing to have a role model or to be inspired by other people’s actions and aspirations. On the contrary, it could be helpful, especially if you’re running out of ideas in certain aspects of your life. However, looking up to people and comparing yourself with what other people have, do, and look like can lead you into a trap.

It is one thing to look up to others, the problem starts when you decide to dedicate yourself to living the life of someone else. We could never become that other person and eventually, we would end up losing ourselves entirely. So how do we avoid this scenario and stay true to our own personality? Here are five simple pieces of advice that should help.

1. Know Your Worth

There will always be various aspects of our life that we feel we should improve. It’s good to think critically about our achievements and lifestyle. On the other hand, one should focus on those good things we have in our book. Focusing attention on things we are good at or those that give us an advantage in comparison with other people is a nice way to keep your self-esteem on a high level. If you think that because someone is younger than you means that person is somehow superior to you, think again. Youth may bring beauty, drive or energy but these things fade in comparison to knowledge and experience.

To quote Ashlee Forsyth, experienced writer for Careers Booster: “My years as a resume writer have taught me how to pander to a future employer and write everything they wish to read. Helping people get a new job or get a promotion has become more of an instinct than a skill…”

You are not less worthy if you don’t have what others have; you just have other virtues that make you who you are.

2. Don’t Mind The Social Networks

Facebook, Instagram, and other social networks are just a reflection of what we are proud of, what we want to share with the world, and how we want people to see us. It’s become a common practice for people to do their best in order to create a perfect representation of their personalities over the social media. However, life is more complicated than what we see on our Facebook feed. A girl could look beautiful on a photo after taking a hundred shots and applying a series of filters, but she might do it because she feels lonely and needs attention. Nobody’s life is not all about parties, drinks, and traveling to exotic places, even the richest people in the world have to work very hard and deal with series of problems both personal and professional.

3. Compare Yourself To Others Only To Improve Yourself

Doing what other people do just because we feel it’s something we should is a potential danger. Some things are simply meaningless for our career or personal growth. It’s smart to recognize in others those things that hold a real value for us. Analyze your role models; see if being like them means anything to you as a person. Everything else is just risking losing our mind trying to become someone else, which could show impossible to achieve and lose ourselves in the process.

4. Be Satisfied With What You Have

Statistics show that USA and Europe together waste enough food to feed the entire world three times! On the other side, we hear about world hunger and millions of people living in poverty. Our society has become self-centered and we fail to grasp the brutal truth that there are millions of people that would give anything for a piece of our lives, no matter how bad we think of our income. Don’t force yourself to have what others own, learn to enjoy what you have and work hard enough to be happy with what you can afford.

5. Become a Role Model

Perhaps the best way to love yourself is to allow others to see the good in you and appreciate your value. Don’t waste time comparing yourself to others; instead, better do good to others and their praises will reach other people who will see you as someone to look up to. Show everyone how much you enjoy your life and try to spread your ideas and positive vibes everywhere.


Beauty, wealth, professional success…these categories are so fragile and easy to lose that it’s a real wonder how society still gives any thought about any of them. We fail to grasp that life should not be about pleasing everyone and fall in line with everybody else. Find your own reason for joy, be happy and satisfied in your own way.


About the author

Eva Wislow is an entrepreneur and career coach from Pittsburgh, PA. Eva has a degree in Psychology and she is focusing on helping people discover their true calling. She maintains a strong interest in bringing the digital revolution in human resources. She writes for and other well-known resources. Follow Eva on Twitter.

5 Ways to Avoid the Comparison Trap that Kills Your Personality was last modified: by

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